- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I am so annoyed at the moment.
FI and I recently moved in together. We planned on waiting a little longer to save money, but certain circumstances (we lived with our parents, so it was related to that) caused us to move sooner than expected.
We are doing okay financially, but paying for a wedding is going be damn near impossible. This stresses me out because I was not the one that wanted a formal wedding (because we can’t AFFORD IT) yet because I make more than he does (we are recent college grads) I end up being the one paying for it. However, I do it in the spirit of “being a couple”.
He just does not get it. I know we need to sit down and work out a plan for our expenses, but it ends up being that I pay rent, and he picks up the bills, so far. Needless to say it is VERY unbalanced, and even though I know I should leave it to him to do it, I can’t trust that he’ll do it on time because he is a huge procrastinator.
I feel like a babysitter or his mom. I work full time and take classes and I come home and still end up cleaning. He does work too, but on a different schedule. That isn’t to say he does nothing– he will cook dinner, do dishes when the sink is full, but I feel like I constantly need to nag him to do simple “big boy” things and it’s seriously pissing me off!
For example, if he says he will take the trash out, I shouldn’t come home to find it still sitting there…THREE DAYS IN A ROW. I shouldn’t have to say “return that call for a possible job offer” and get “I’ll do it tomorrow” as a response. No, he won’t do it tomorrow unless I nag and nag nag nag. It’s SO FRUSTRATING.
He is going to a friend’s stag which I wouldn’t say no to, but they are going away and he told me they are looking to stay at a place that is over $200, just for lodging. Not including food, booze, etc. He is just going with the flow, and even though he could totally say “I am planning a wedding, can we try something cheaper” or just somehow indicate that he can’t afford it, he won’t. So, he can throw what will end up being at least $300 but he can’t contribute to rent? And we have to somehow pay for the wedding HE wants? WTF.
I am getting extremely aggaravating with constantly having to light a fire under his *ss to get him to do anything. He does go to work, etc, but it’s like he thinks that’s enough. News flash– it isn’t. He doesn’t really spend any more NOW than he did when we lived at our parents houses, and I’m footing the bill, and having to be the boss– CAN YOU SAY, MOTHER???
Please please please advise.