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To make a very angry evening short:
She called my FI and said "Since she is now too old to have children [just turned twenty freaking FIVE] and, as she hasn't had any already [I will be the ONLY person in FI's family who was not a teen parent] we do not support your choice to marry her."
Seriously? Seriously!
I know this doesn't change how FI feels at all, but W.T.F.
Omg, that's one of the most insane things I've her out of a FMIL's mouth! Is she normally this... well, crazy?
Um. Wow. I have no words.
So...it's a bad thing FI didn't knock you up? Yeesh.
I don't know if she's crazy, I know that our values are universes apart from hers.
(As in, i don't buy my dishes at Wal-Mart, so she calls me pretentious.)
I was so mad I couldn't even speak, and I normally have a LOT to say.
#1 We are date twins! YEAH! 
#2 Your FMIL is bat shit crazy. 25 isn't old and just because you weren't a teen mom (no offense to ANY teen mothers out there!) doesn't mean you can't/won't have children in the future (unless you and FI have decided not to have kids). Was she drunk? Jeez that was SO rude and uncalled for!
What in the hell. Where exactly is your relationship with your FMIL supposed to go from here?!
Holy crap. 25 is, by no means, "too old to have children"! I have no advice to offer you, but I just wanted to let you know that she is totally and completely wrong.
Was she drunk or something when she called your FI?
Ok, I get that her values are different, but I can't believe she was sooooo vocal about it. And not in a tactful way at all. I wouldn't say anything to her. What good could come out of it? She's obviously not going to understand. And luckily, science and biology are not on her side... you can have like 10 kids starting now if you really wanted to, jeesh :(
No, not drunk! Thankfully, she lives in a different state, so I don't often see her, and now, perhaps, she won't even come to the wedding.
To make this better, she said it during a family get together, so everybody heard it. It was already hard enough fitting in, my family is (was) very wealthy, and his family isn't, so there's already problems relating there. Not that I care at all about how much money they have, but they're always making remarks about my family, and about FI and myself.
As in "Oh, you're so fancy, did your MOM pay for your NEW car?" (Um, it's a 1999, and NO)
When gambling (something I don't really care for, but his parents LOVE) "Skipped right over the quarter machines, are you too RICH for them"
And on and on and on.
All you can do is laugh at that kind of crazy. There's no rationalizing with a person who thinks it's a virtue to have children as a teenager or that 25 is too old. So just laugh at her. She's totally nuts.
Are you serious? I would have been so beyond livid!
I am so sorry his family is treating you like that! Either way they will have to get over all of it since he LOVES YOU. My Grama made me promise when I was 5 to wait to have kids til I was 25 lol!
You've got your man and you live in different states! lol
I advocate mentally punching her in the face. Clearly doing it in real life is wrong. But I'll start you off. *mental kapow!*
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. You could wait ten years before you have kids if you wanted to!
25?!?! What a weirdo. Woman needs to get a clue. 25 is a much more normal age to be popping out babies than she thinks
holy shiz, that lady is bonkers. Please just be glad your FI shares your values and you are in different states. You can come in all hoity toity in your '99 sedan for the next holiday gathering, but 'til then you can enjoy some peace and quiet. heehee!
Um, 1) it's not her business if you can/even want to have children, 'grandmother' or not! and 2) I'm not even going to consider having kids until I'm at least 30. Why spend my youth on diapers and vomit?! [ETA: I know many of you don't view parenthood that way, and trust me, I envy you. I often wish children didn't so completely gross me out. But they do. I mean no offense to your role as parents, your children or anything else.] 3) she sounds really insecure.
Oh man.. as sad as it is, reading your post reminded me of MY grandmother.. at least your FMIL is just that an in-law!
She sounds like a total lunatic. Sorry you have to deal with that bs.
What the effing hell?!?!?!? I would give her two choices:
1. Apologize to me for her comment in front of every family member that heard it or
2. Since you don't support our marriage, don't come to the wedding.
Actually, even with the apology, I think her being there would cause you undue stress. who knows what snarky comment she'll unveil on your most important day.
That said, honey, I am 35 years old and getting married for the first time in October. I am SO GLAD I waited for Mr. Perfect, and yes, we plan to have kids! I don't think I would have had the mental maturity at 25 to raise a family (a lot of women def. do, that's just me).
Not to mention, the older you are, the more financially secure you usually are, putting you in a better place to plan for your children's future.
Total crap. She's a freak.
@Daydreamwanderer: I get what you mean! I *think* I want kids....someday. But right now, since even though I love them they gross me out, I know I'm not ready. Sometimes when my niece and nephew visit I just hear one big cacophony of LOUD, and see mess and tantrums and broken things...
I envy that assurance people have, when they know that they were just meant to have kids. FI's kid is pretty cool, because he's already a teenager, but other times, I just think that I want another dog instead.
This bugs my Mom to no end, but I always tell her, when I choose one way or the other, I'll let her know, and until then, she just gets grandpuppies.
Which, btw, is what FI says--since he already has a son, he says "If you want kids, great, I'd love more. If you don't, that's fine too, I have a son, and I'd love more dogs."
So, I guess I'm breaking his family rules, but I talk to FI's son all the TIME about not having sex, and if he does, safe sex, and how it's a big responsibility. I let him ask questions because it weirds FI out to answer them...I have three more years with FI's son being a teenager, maybe I can get him to 20, then he can join me in the not-teen parent club!
When somebody says something that far out of left field the only thing you can do is laugh. Don't even give her the satisfaction of an argument b/c the next comment will be even more outrageous.
Ugh, people so attacking over insecurities. Sounds like she's extremely self-conscious about having less $$ and she's set in her ways. I don't even know what I'd say except to correct her crazy misconception that you can't have kids after 25 (which she probably already knows it's untrue but is just being a twit). She's got a lot to get over so until then I'd just try to stand up for yourself without escalating it more than that. Don't personally attack her but make sure you stand up for you and make sure your FI is on the same page as that as well.
She's a real winner, NOT. Where was her brian when she made that comment?
Woah...what a loooon. I would be pretty pissed too. Wow, if she thinks 25 is old..she would have a heartattack if it were my MIL. FI said he wanted to wait till he was 35!!! (never going to happen btw) Although, this does kind of remind me of my own family. My mom had her kids young ass, my brothers had their kids at 18-19 yrs old and im the freak of nature actually WAITING to get married and own a house and have that thing..what is it called again...oh yeah MONEY to have children. When i bring this up my mom kinda looks at me like im offending her...GOOD! (sorry my moms a b****)
OMG all I have to say is CRAZY!!!~
So I guess she would like you more if you had six children from all different fathers? So werid! She really has a pair on her for saying that IN FRONT of other people..I wonder if her whole family thinks that way, or if she just fell off the crazy train?!
and I thought my FMIL was crazy-- any time we are anywhere near a baby she has me hold the baby and takes a picture and tells me how good I look holding a baby. She has been doing that for 4 years-- and I'm only 23. I know she wants grandkids--and we plan to have children..just later.
I like soontobemrsm's comment-- she's bat shit crazy!!
Ohhh, I am so sorry. She sounds bat shit crazy. I can't believe she would say or even think that. I know times have changed, but you certainly are not too old to have kids by anyone's standards. Wow, what a fun mother in law you must have. At least you have FI and non-craziness on your side.
In regards to the car, that made me laugh. We drive a first generation 2002 Prius with 175,000 miles on it and a dent on the back and front from street parking it and usual wear and tear that we just didn't have the money to get fixed. Our roommates are similar to your FMIL, think we are rich and snobby just because we don't buy everything at Target or WalMart, etc. We offered to drive them somewhere because the don't keep a car in the city, and they were talking about our "brand new fancy car" for months afterwards. Um, hello?
Wow......ummm........WOW! Honestly I'm cracking up right now! Honey I am SO sorry this is your future mother in law! She sounds like a complete basket case! 25 is YOUNG now adays to have kids! And I WAS a teen mom! (well 18). Just let her get over her little rant. If shes this loopy then I bet you that by tomorrow she will be all for you getting married again. Oh dear.....
wow... your fiance must realize how ridiculous that was. Dont worry! btw Im 24 and not planning on having kids till 26. Guess Im too old too!
Wow...crazy lady! I agree with the posters who are suggesting not inviting her to your wedding. I mean, if you think you can handle it then go for it, but it doesn't sound like the MIL-DIL relationship is going to be salvaged at this point ANYWAYS, so what's the point in trying, right?
Urgh, I can't believe that this is actually something a REAL PERSON said.
: p Grandpuppies rule, btw.
WOW. I have no advice except to have fiance put her in her place with a little talk about respect. She sounds totally crazy though! Good luck girl!
I realize you aren't getting married until October, but is there any way that you can get revenge through wedding planning? What I mean is, can you somehow "glam up" the wedding enough to make her too uncomfortable to come? (That may mean serving Michelob instead of Pabst, could be really easy!)
Seriously, I hope you know where she is coming from. It goes something like this: She made very bad choices in life which resulted in her having kids too early, not having enough money to support them, not furthering her education, and probably either a crappy job with low pay now, or no job at all. All her other kids followed in her footsteps of dumbass moves. She's totally JEALOUS that you managed to keep your cervix closed for 25 years, and are financially stable! She also feels like a really crappy mom, compared to YOUR mom, who also obviously made good choices in life and is now financially stable. Maybe when she started to think about standing side-by-side with your mom at the wedding, she'd look like the old mule that farmer Joe will shoot for tanning hide come winter. Can't blame her, she's totally right. Compared to you, your mother, and your family, this woman obviously has NO CLASS. And it doesn't come from money, it comes from manners!!
I'd say let her have her childish rant. I'm sure everyone in the family that heard her rolled their eyes and thought "I wish I was Quietserenity!" Yeah, being "too good" for her family doesn't make you "no good" for her son. Just ignore her. If it makes you feel better, imagine how uncomfortable she'll be at the wedding!
She sounds nuts. I wouldn't even give her the pleasure of an argument, to be honest. Sounds like she is just looking for a reason to disapprove. You just have to laugh at her.
25? I will be ancient according to her standards by the time I have kids! It's hard to fathom parents that support teen pregnancy!!
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