Post # 1
FI’s cousin is getting married in early October. It was going to cost a fortune to go, and mine and FI’s possessions are still in storage and the weekend were going to move them up is the weekend of the wedding. So FI told his parents we weren’t going.
They have now put so much pressure on him that he’s caved. So the move is off, I’ve not had my stuff for nearly a year and I’m living in one room of a nearly completely empty flat, and FI is going to be spending hundreds of pounds on someone he hasn’t seen in about 2 years and probably won’t see again for the same length of time.
I’m beyond livid. He’s nearly 41 and he’s basically let his parents bully him into doing what they want.
I’ve been suffering really bad from depression and anxiety and attending something like this is about the last thing I want to do at the moment. His parents have made it crystal clear that HE has to go, they aren’t bothered whether I attend or not. Now I’m getting the whole ‘but it’s family’ crap off my FI.
Just so angry right now…
Post # 3
IF he goes to this wedding – when will you be able to get your stuff? I understand you are livid but he is really making his own decisions at 41 (which he seems to be defending at this point) , and I dont think what you are describing is exactly blackmail. Talk to him about how you feel and please see someone (if you arent already) for your depression and anxiety
Post # 4
@TheMsMittens: So sorry you have all this going on at once… sounds like he really let you down, especially considering this is a relative he hardly sees. Seems like he could just send a gift and focus on the move.
Post # 5
No idea when I’ll get my stuff now. And he had already made the decision months ago that we would not be attending – and we were BOTH invited. His parents have been giving him so much grief over it that he’s gone back on the existing arrangements.
His parents have this fantasy that the family is alot closer than is reality. A couple of FFIL’s brothers have broken away from the constant control and all FFIL does now is badmouth them, all because they put their own families first.
I feel that at the age of 41 a man should be able to stand up to his parents.
Post # 6
@TheMsMittens: Well, at the very least… I hope this is the last time you’ll have to deal with something like this and that he learns to when/ how to stand up to them. The timing is pretty crappy on this one…