(Closed) Living alone after a breakup?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@angustia:  For me, the experience was really good, after it was very sad. I felt very lonely at first, and cried A LOT. I also watched a lot of tv and did a lot of Facebook stalking. That lasted about a half month then it was amazing. I realized that I could do whatever I wanted and my life actually became much healthier.

I didn’t have another person to eat with so I started eating much less, and much healthier. I would basically just cook a bunch of chicken breast early in the week and then just eat that. Or, I would just toss together a quick salad and be fine. Additionally, I was able to go to the gym whenever I wanted and stay as long/as little as I wanted.

I sometimes don’t feel like conversing with other people and now I wasn’t forced to do that as much. If I wanted to spend all day messing around with my friends, I could, and I didn’t have to worry about coming home or anything. I also saved a ton of money and was able to splurge with more frequent trips to other cities and even abroad. I took up indoor rock climbing and read way more and just felt really happy. So itt gets better, especially if you let it!

Post # 5
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@angustia:  I broke up with my ex and lived alone for about a year. I had to get used to sleeping alone but it only took few days till i claimed the whole bed (my cat helped).

the place was spotless all the time, I could watch whatever i wanted….. If i wanted company I would have friends over or go over to their places….

Really enjoyed it actually πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@angustia:  I’ve never technically lived entirely alone because I was a single mother after my divorce, but I had lots of alone time when my son was with his father.  I loved it!  The freedom and relief of ending a toxic, negative relationship was like a breath of fresh air for my life and I made the most of my single days.  It’s time to learn to fall in love with yourself, become your own best friend and figure out your priorities in life. 

The best things for me were having complete control over my time and money, and choosing to allow only people who were good for me to be part of my life.  Much of my time was spent on focusing on my spiritual growth as well as my physical health and well-being.  I read a lot, spent time with dear friends and discovered what I love – nature, solitude, music, good food and wine, etc.  

Since it was a time of no “romance” per se, I romanced myself.  I took long, luxurious bubble baths, bought myself some beautiful jewelry (when I could afford to, lol), picked myself up a bunch of daisies at the market, listened to love songs.

Enjoy this time.  Because sooner or later you’ll meet someone and start back dating.  And, like I tell my single friends, the moment you learn to love living alone some guy will come along and mess it all up!  I kid, I kid!  I adore living with my husband, he’s my best friend and the love of my life.  And I wouldn’t go back to living alone for anything now that I found him.  But living alone can be a wonderful, happy and enriching experience.  Make the most of it!  πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My friend went through a breakup and lived on her own.  At first she was fine, but eventually got lonely and got a roommate.  She’s much happier now living with a female friend.

EDIT: She’s 25 though, so she’s still in the “roommate stage” of life

Post # 8
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hugs. im sorry to hear you are going through this. I think the trick here is trying to stay busy. The biggest change will be all the free time to yourself, so try to make plans ahead of time to meet up with friends after work or sign up for a class or something. I find large craft projects do be really distracting too (like amazing a Tshirt quilt). Or sign up for a race in a few months and get training. Just give yourself something else to focus on!

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee

When my fiancé and I broke up 6 years ago I moved into a place by myself with my two dogs. having been in an 8 year relationship and only ever lived alone for about 6months after finishing high school (lived in share houses with other university friends for a few years) I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

In fact I’ve lived alone ever since. 

I loved that I only had to cook what I wanted, if the housework didnt get done it didn’t matter because one person doesn’t make nearly as much mess! I could watch what I wanted on tv, work long hours wihaving feeling guilty, exercise whenever I wanted without worrying I’d wake the other person up. 

noone playing computer games….

I loved it!! 

i bought a house a couple of years ago and I had a custom built wardrobe installed to MY specifications (my ideal shoe storage!) and I am renovating the rest as I see fit, with lots of feminine touches in the form of artwork, etc.

i still like living alone but I resent it sometimes , especially now as I am just going through a breakup with someone I thought I would be with for the long term.

all in all, living alone has been a wonderful experience.

Post # 10
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Living alone after a breakup was the BEST THING EVER!  For me, I didn’t realize how toxic that relationship was until after I wasn’t in it anymore.  Sure, I had lonely moments, but I just snuggled up with my dog and he didn’t mind my tears.  At some point, I had to put on my big girl pants and take the dog out for walks, play with him, take him to the park… kept myself busy.

I started volunteering at a local dog shelter.  I started bowling on a league.  I got back in touch with old friends.  I ate potato chips & beer for dinner a few times.  I went where I wanted, when I wanted… it was so incredibly liberating.

I was living alone when I met my (now) husband.  Having been independent and living on my own helped make me a stronger person and a more capable partner.  That awful relationship and subsequent breakup made it clear to me what I could and could not handle or tolerate in a relationship.  I was much more confident in myself because I knew I was self reliant.  I had plenty of time to hang out with girlfriends, go out dancing, sit around in my underwear, etc.  I thouroughly enjoyed my single time, and I think it was actually really important to have experienced that before getting married to the wonderful MrDane πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@QueensBee:  Agreed, this was very similar to my experience. 

I’ve always lived alone since I was 19 and enjoyed it, but I especially savored it after a breakup. Like a PP mentioned, it can be lonely at first, but that only ever last a few days. Mostly I loved the new freedom to do whatever I wanted however and whenever I wanted, especially after breaking up with my live-in boyfriend of a couple years. I’m sure you’ll be just fine, especially since you’re already looking forward to him getting this show on the road. This sounds silly, but it felt like a great time to get to know myself again without someone else influencing how I live in my own space. 

 

Post # 12
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DaneLady:  All of this.

Your rules, your place, your freedom.  It is the BEST.  I am married now and I sometimes still miss living alone!

Post # 13
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Although I did not ever live with an SO prior to marriage, I didn’t marry until I was 47, and, although I had roommates in college and a roommate for a couple of years after I was out of college, I actually decided that I preferred life without roommates and ended up living alone for more than 20 years. I absolutely loved it!

I could decorate to my own taste, buy and eat whatever I wanted, and keep the temperature set where I thought it was comfortable and adjust it according to my own sensitivities. I didn’t have to share the TV remotes or deal with or clean up messes that anyone else made. I had my own apartment for many years, and I finally bought/built a townhouse and enjoyed living in it alone for a number of years. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else’s design preferences or schedule or visitors.

My  problem wasn’t ever adjusting to living alone.  Rather, it was adjusting to living with people after I married my DH — he was a package deal with not only himself but also minor children and a dog! Now that  has been quite  an adjustment for me, lol. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

“I was told yesterday that a single woman living alone was a turn-off because that meant a man was finally fed up.”

Oh my goodness.  I cannot even imagine the thinking behind that ridiculous statement.

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