- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
I guess I kinda have myself in a forever situation and I just want to know if what I’m feeling is normal or not..
My FI still lives with his parents on a nice 5 acre lot, in fact he lives right next door to his grandparents who also have a 5 acre lot. They are a really close family, spend every holiday together, talk all the time, something that my family doesn’t really do.
Anyways, before we were engaged my FI BOUGHT his grandparents house from them. He agreed to renovate the basement so that one day his grandparents could move downstairs and that he (and possibly me if we got married) could live upstairs (he’s catholic so we couldn’t even consider living together without a marriage ceremony first!).
His grandparents already need a lot of assistance, they have two donkeys, a pony, and a 100 chickens that constanty need attending to and my FIs parents need just as much help. My FI is the oldest boy so he is always the one to be asked to do everything, I mean EVERYTHING. He is always busy doing stuff for other people and never seems to mind, the thing is, I do!
I don’t know how to feel, we will basically we looking after his ailing grandparents until they go into a home.. which would be probably 20 years, and then after they move out, my FIs parents are talking about selling their house and moving into the basement suite. So basically.. my FI and I will never live alone… until we are very old. I dont like that one bit. I want there to be space, and seperation, and privacy and I don’t feel like that will be possible! Basically I want my FI to cut the cord and focus on a family that we are creating and I dont know how that will be possible with living that close to his parents and grandparents, forever.
A second rant, since I am finally getting this out, his grandparents and parents don’t want us to change the house! That’s right, they dont want us to make any renovations to the inside of the house that we will be living in, or the front yard (that is run down because they are too old to look after it) because it will make the grandparents upset. This is even though we will be paying ALL the bills AND the mortgage AND money to his grandparents for the remainder of the house cost that isn’t in the mortgage! His grandparents will be paying for no bills or paying us anything and we are expected to not change anything!! There house is full of antiques and angels and busts of old women, not our style at all. I am completely greatful that they are giving us this opportunity and leaving so much furniture upstairs so that we dont have to go out and buy all new things as soon as we are married, but to tell us we shouldnt paint or change furniture or rip out old shrubs is ridiculous! Meanwhile, they are altering little things in the yard and the house without consulting us after we have been making payments to the mortgage and such!<br /><br />I dont know what to do. Maybe I am being oversensitive, I don’t know what to think or to do.. I am feeling a little trapped in all of this! Please make me feel better 🙁
- This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Anon2Bee.