Post # 1
Regular bee going anon for now.
I would like to be an anonymous kidney donor. I have gone through screening and tests and I am just waiting to be matched now, which could be made many weeks or many months from now.
All of my medical expenses are taken care of of course however the rest is on me. I work a physically demanding job so could be off for 3-6 months. The loss of income is essentially my only barrier at the moment. Now I know I’m no charitable organization but I was wondering if I could put on some sort of small fundraiser or spread the word to friends/family to raise money to help wth that part or is that tooootally inappropriate and weird?
I have not told many people about this yet so I thought maybe some of you would have some thoughts on this rather odd etiquette issue!
Post # 3
@anonyextrakidney: If a family member or a friend was going this route, I would wholeheartedly endorse them and contribute. It’s an incredibly generous, thoughtful, and amazing act to even contemplate let alone do, and I’d want to support him/her however I could. My husband and I already make contributions to charity all of the time, so we would just shift those funds over. That may not be a popular opinion, but it’s my 2 cents.
Post # 4
@anonyextrakidney: Hmmm that’s an interesting one! I’m really not sure what people would think etiquette wise.. In my opinion if someone I knew was doing it I’d be happy to help out (I think word of mouth is probably the best way) but I must add I do think it’s a wonderful thing your doing!
Another option, do you have income insurance? or would you consider getting it? coz that should cover you and might be a more reliable source of income while you recover (you may need to abide by waiting periods etc.)
Post # 5
Firstly, I commend you on your generosity. I would think you would qualify for state disability if you are unable to work for a few months?
Post # 6
You should definitely use one of the fundraising websites – I think there are a ton of them out there. How wonderful that you are considering doing this, especially as an anonymous kidney donor!
I don’t think there is etiquette on this… and I would hope that regardless of how you choose to raise money, people would be supportive and not focused on etiquette.
Post # 7
@anonyextrakidney: I have no clue on how this things work in the US but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for doing this.
I work in the health bussiness so I am forbiden to even donate blood. It is SO FRUSTRATING. I am so glad there is people like you out there. I hope you can find a way to get the money.
Much love and hugs for you!
Post # 8
We do not have purchasable income insurance in Canada as far as I’m aware. This doesn’t qualify for my insurance’s disability nor our federal employment insurance program. I’m sort of surprised about this – no wonder people don’t donate! Not only do you have to go through major surgery but then you have to fund your own significant amount of time off work after.
Post # 9
@anonyextrakidney: First off, you ROCK for even going through testing!
My little sister became a living (liver) donor 3 years ago. She recovered ridiculously fast; she was out of the hospital within 6 days and back in school about a month later (she was in College and not working at the time). She was limited in what she could do for a while, but she bounced back a lot quicker then most liver donors do. I don’t know if that would be the case for a kidney donor though. Healing time may be different because the liver can regenerate parts of itself, while the kidney is just gone completely.
I suggest you look into some of the fundraising websites (there are a lot of them) and see about whether your family and friends could hold fundraisers around your local area to help out. People may hesitate to donate without knowing who it is though.
Post # 10
@LoggerHead91207: Healing until the point that I’m able to go back to work will take 6 months minimum, even up to 8 or 9 if there are complications! It will be open surgery as opposed to a laparascopy and I have a job that requires heavy lifting for the whole work day.
I already have $3000 of my own money saved for it but that covers less than 3 months of my expenses so I have a long way to go and not a huge family nor many close friends anymore.
I’ll look into donation websites. I guess it’s alright – I just got sort of squeamish with the idea of asking people to pay for my living expenses haha, but I really don’t make a whole lot so I wouldn’t be able to do this unless I scrimped and saved for many, many years.
Maybe I could also add that if people wish they could also make me some frozen meals for some of the recovery period. FI can’t cook to save his life!
If anyone knows of any reputable donation sites please do let me know.
Post # 11
I strongly recommend you talk to other living donors (and I don’t mean just the ones that the program tells you to talk to) so you know exactly what you are getting into. Feel free to PM me, I have a friend who did it. It’s an amazing amazing gift you are considering giving and truly will save someone’s life.
Post # 12
@anonyextrakidney: My sister’s surgery wasn’t laparascoptic either; she has a huge crescent shaped scar across her upper abdomen.
And definitely solicite for meals! When my sister was in the Hospital the last thing we wanted to do was cook anything. . . good thing the family of the boy who got her liver was proactive and thought to recruit friends and family to cook for us. My parents set up a cooler on the front porch; whoever took on the task of feeding us that day would just put the food right into the cooler so we could grab it whenever we could. It was awesome (and tasted so good)!
For now though, I would focus on staying as healthy as possible and saving as much as you can. You could be matched soon or it could take months or years to find someone. The more you save up now the better.
I also want to second what @lionsheart: suggested about speaking with living donors. It can provide a good deal of insight on what to expect before, during, and after the donation process. You can never really be fully prepared – nothing could prepare me to see so many tubes hooked up to my baby sister – but it can help a little.
Post # 13
I’d be surprised if anyone took issue with you asking for donations, but some might be hesistant to donate when it is partially self-serving.
I think a way to set it up would be if I can fundraise x to cover my living expenses while recovering, I will donate a kidney! Or even better if a friend can set that up for you. It makes it similar to people who will cut off their hair if they raise so much money, although what’s being donated is different 🙂
Talk to a local radio station too!
Post # 14
@AB Bride: that is such a great idea to frame it that way! Then I can set a definite goal goal and it’s just like when I did a fundraising activity but had to raise 2k for it. Thanks!
Oh and I have had a couple phone chats so far with a living donor. I actually found her from a radio program and she was discussing on the radio how she met a woman who was serving her coffee at her usual coffee place, overheard that the barista needed a kidney and ended up donating hers! They had just met! My situation is a little different – 100% anonymous. I will know nothing about the recipient except that they live in within 5 hours of me, haha.
Post # 15
@anonyextrakidney: thank you from teh bottom of my heart. I rarely cry and the fact that someone on here is doing this has me brimming with tears. I really hope that more people at least look into this – or consider looking into it for a friend/family member.
I have lupus, and I have to get regularly tested for kidney trouble (hoping to catch it before it’s failure). Two of my friends with lupus have had transplants. No one in my close family has my blood type any more (and I’m O-, so not the worst option, but …).
Could you do an Indigogo campaign or something along those lines? I’d think you could see if anyone local to you could do a fundraiser. there are some restaraunts near me who will allow groups and individuals to have fundraising nights (I went to one Tuesday – as long as you said you were there with the charity, they donated 15% of your check to the group at teh end of the night! Plus I heard a lot of the servers saying they woud be donating some or all of their tips that night).