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This question is directed to those who are engaged and living together pre-wedding... What do you think will change (if anything?) and what are you most looking forward to once you're officially wed?
I think for myself, not a whole lot will actually change... We already have a mortgage/bills/etc. together, so it's more of the "can't wait to call him my husband" as well as maybe being seen as a more serious/permanent relationship by relatives,etc. (which I hate, since we've clearly been serious for years).
So, what do you think will change/what are you most looking forward to about being married? For those newly married- any changes?
We have been living together and have bills/house together so I really think not much will change beside seeing my mail with my new last name in the mail box and him calling me wife! Other then that it will be normal
I think that we will be taken "more seriously" by people on our families -- even though we have been together for 6 years and own a house together. I am excited to finally call him my husband.
I know what you mean. My husband (eee so exciting calling him my husband now!) and I were together for 6 years before we got married and living together for the past two. Things have been the same for the most part. It seems the same as it was before but good.
I think this is interesting because I'm currently debating about whether to live with my fiance before the wedding. I know it'll be just as special whether we've lived together before or not, but I do wonder whether things will change. Being able to call him my husband *will* be especially wonderful. :)
I don't know, though. I think if you're already engaged when you move in together, then you don't really have time to adjust to living together before you get married, which makes it fun. On the other hand, if you've lived together for a long time, then getting married is a monumentous occasion, which also makes it fun. My conclusion is that it has to be great either way!
ETA: Ok, so "fun" probably isn't the best description, but you know what I mean. :)
@ Cellardoor: That is an interesting way to look at it.. I guess this kinda begs the question of why we chose to move in together which is kinda long winded and irrelevant to you. :) I just wanted to add, the first couple of months living together wasn't so much "fun"- HUGE adjustment period, looking back now, I wouldn't want it any other way.
But either way- best of luck!!!
I was always one of those girls who said I'd never live with a guy until I was married. And I didn't. Until I met my fiance. Moving in with him was the most natural thing. And it's gone pretty smoothly. I officially moved in last September and there has not really been any adjusting to do. We decided on chores, bills, etc., pretty easily. And neither of us has ever lived with a SO before.
As for what I'm looking forward to after the wedding, I guess being able to call him my husband, renovating our house, and starting a family.
Wow, great question! First of all, I'm so happy that my FH and I moved in together before getting married, or even engaged. Even though I'm sure that our marriage will present many challenges to us over the years, one of them won't be getting used to living together. However, as far as changes post-wedding go, I don't really know what to expect. I suppose I'll feel a renewed sense of security. The knowledge that I will always have my best friend to share life's ups and downs with brings me so much happiness. We've also held off on combining incomes, so I suppose that we'll have a few financial hurdles to get through, but we already have a game plan for that. I can't find words to describe the changes that will occur to us emotionally, but I know that they'll all be good!
My husband and I had been together about 4.5 years when we got married. We'd been living together for 3 years, owned a house together, and all of that. I really didn't think anything would change when we got married... But it did! Both of us just have this new sense of closeness and unity that I didn't even think was possible. I thought, pre-wedding, that we had the best relationship ever, but the ceremony just cemented our commitment, and now we're 100 times happier than we ever were before. And we were happy people to begin with!
We lived together pre wedding. While it was good to have his support in all of the wedding planning, things were so hectic, I felt like we didn't get to have any non wedding "us" time. After the wedding we love our weekends free of wedding planning and just being together. We don't have the adjustment time of first living together and just enjoy each minute. Mrs. Spring is right, I didn't think we could top our happiness before the wedding, but now it's definitely even better!!!
Thanks for bringing the married perspective Mrs. Spring & Kim0309! Glad to know there's much more to look forward to! 
we don't live together, but besides being taken more seriously i really don't see anything changing for couple who already do.
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I love Mrs. Spring's response above... because I was thinking that I hope nothing changes, but now I do!
We've been living together for 2 years, and plan on buying a house a few months pre-wedding. He even slipped up the other day and referred to me as his wife *lol* We're already best-friends, I can't imagine how it will get better... but if it makes us even closer, well that's just icing on the cake!
One major change I do forsee.., instead of talking about when we'll get married, I'm going to start talking about babies. The clock is a tickin'! ;)
We lived together for over 2 years before we got married last month. I really wasn't expecting a big change, because we had already done all the day-to-day stuff of living together. However, I do agree with Mrs. Spring, I think there's been a great postitive feeling about our relationship that's lasted since the wedding. I felt great about us before the ceremony, but the wedding has strengthened our bond. As for day-to-day stuff, I think that's all pretty much the same. Our money situation is the same, our chore division is the same and everything like that. I do love referring to him as "my husband" though...as in "My husband really needs to buckle down and finish the thank you notes for his side of the family". ;)
My FI and I have been living together for 2 1/2 years. We have gotten through all the bumps in the road that come with cohabitating. I don't see that much changing once we get married in the aspects of that. I do see our future more clearly. Our careers, home, children, lifestyle, security... I'm excited for what's to come, good, bad or ugly... I know that I'll be with the love of my life.
I just got engaged two days ago so I'm still letting everything sink in. We have been living together for a little while now but don't share bills or anything like that at the moment. For us it will definitely be the merging of everything and knowing that he is my husband and not just a boyfriend or even fiance anymore is what is so exciting! Plus, taking his last name is so exciting for me. It goes perfectly with my name :)
My FI and I have been together over 4 1/2 years, and have lived together for almost the past 2. I've often wondered, what will change after marriage? Esp. since we don't want to have any kids. Well from seeing a few of our friends that have gotten married, but lived together beforehand, they DO seem happier. All our married friends say, "its weird but I love him/her more!" Like others said, even though we currently live together, our emotions and feelings towards each other will be different, I won't be looking at him as my BF or FI, but as my husband!! Plus we always call each other future wife or future husband and I can't wait to call him the real thing!
I just moved in with my fiance about 3 months ago. While I love him more than anything, it has taken some adjusting to get used to his habits, behaviors, sharing bills, etc. It will be kind of nice to just enjoy the honeymoon stage of being married rather than worrying about moving my stuff and adjusting to eachother. It is really nice when I have a wedding breakdown to just go up to his office and get that love and support.
My FI and I moved in last September a few months before our engagement and honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. Our situation is a bit different though. My FI brought in his dad almost 4 years ago, so when my FI and I moved in I inherited his poochie and his dad. There really was no adjustment for my FI and I. The adjustment came with getting used to his slobbering poochie and his disabled father. My future FIL actually had a bad stroke 3 days after we combined, so since then we have had to do things for him that he could no longer do. The downside was that his father was not really a clean man prior to this stroke so it got worse. Such is life...
To my surprise though, everything is working and my FI and I are best friends. So what I look forward to? Officially being his wife. Next up? Kiddies 
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My FI and I have been living together for a little over a year now. The biggest change we anticipate is starting a family. We can't wait!!
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We moved in together two years ago and have been engaged for one year ... for us I think we are mostly looking forward to not being so busy after the wedding! I hope that we have the same feelings as Mr and Mrs Spring did!! It just seems like we're ready for this commitment and after making it we will only get closer.
We have ten weddings this year all while planning our own, buying a house, and also most likely two job changes. All of this in the next 6 months. We keep saying that we're going to have the best honeymoon ever because we will finally be settled and not so crazy busy! But for me it's the after the honeymoon time that I'm looking forward to - just relaxing and being 'us'.
Like tessabella76, I was also one that said I'd NEVER live with someone until I was married... And then I met my FI... Before long we were just together every day and then eventually we decided to officially live together... even though we had already been living together for 6 months!
Once we're married, I know things won't change, but he will be my husband, and we will be a family... that is the best and most awesome thing!
My FI and I have been together for 5+ years and living together for 2+. I bought the house and we intended to not live together but needless to say, I have literally spent the night in "my" house only twice with out him. I am looking forward to making "my" house "our" house. I went completely girly when I bought it and made evrything pink . So we're looking forward to making it all about us and changing the colors and style.
It will be very VERY nice to be taken seriously by his family as a "real" couple. His sister has been with her man for less time than my FI and I have been together, but they are married so they are an "actual couple" in everyone's eyes. It sucks, but it is what it is....
I am more than anything excited to call him my hubby. I have been addicted to him since I met him and can't wait to solidify everything.
I think it will be fabulous to actually have people visit us since us living together is a bit taboo being that I am Cuban-American. My parents are all good with it; however, cant say all of my family is. Everyone knows we live together but we decided we would only a bit before the wedding. We are looking forward to our wedding just as much as anyone else. I think its important to live together at least a year or so before your wedding b/c a lot is determined and considered during that time.
I look forward to our honeymoon as well the fact I am graduating from law school months after our wedding & we are actively considering getting a house ( we live in his condo right now) As for bills - everything is presently separate but since he's the one with his career long been in place - he supports the household - and I look forward to contributing to that very soon & us moving on to bigger and better things - although we are happy where we are at right now - we hope to "grow" after I have been working for one year - Lord willing.
Having a house is something really big for us & having our own place together, that we start together is really something I am looking forward to.
We are going on our honeymoon two months after wedding ( since I will be in the midst of a semester when we have the wedding) Even him being his second marriage - he seems to be more the one that wants to tell the world and celebrate the wedding than sometimes I do (I guess since Im doing so much of the work, but he's paying LOL - I owe him the world for that) Anyways, just being husband & wife will be awesome - especially for me since I know he choose to marry me even after he knows the things that can go wrong in a marriage - but still wants to make me his Mrs.
We have a lot to look forward to - once I graduate it will be a whole lot different since I wont be in school at night & can actually be wifey (which is something I cant really do now - so we cant really say the entire living together situation is there)
I promote living together beforehand, b/c I did it before and it didnt work out & I preferred testing this relationship out before tying the knot (which will be my first) I highly recommend it - not too mention I did make the engaged status a prereq to living together (just from learning from past experience) Its an amazing transitional period in a couple's life. Enjoy!
I'm looking forward to being able to call him my HUSBAND!
And also looking forward to starting a family. :)
We lived together for two years before getting married and have a house together. While many things are the same (chores, daily routines) everything feels different. I have more motivation to be a good "wife" and he is more relaxed and affectionate than before the wedding. We have so much less stress and pressure and can focus on eachother. It also helps you get your priorities straight and see who in your life deserves to be in it. A wedding can show you who you really want to spend your time with.
We're moving a few weeks after the wedding so I'm really looking forward to that. His family very graciously offered us their summer house for six months (it's very close to his new job and I work from home) so during that time we'll be house hunting. I'm looking forward to finding a place, moving in, renovating and then...starting a family?! Yikes, maybe I'll just look forward to the new house for now ;)
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We've been living a fully merged partnership for three of the last five years of our relationship, and there were many great changes that happened as a result of our marriage! The thing is, they're all nuanced little changes in perspective and feeling, not practical things like paying a bill together or having a joint bank account (and really, the nuanced sentimental stuff is the best!). Having gone through the wedding experience and the public declaration of our commitment makes for a powerful "newlywed" headiness of "in love" feelings. Our wedding day has also become an emotional and significant shared memory and our sense of unity is very strong. It was also a big transition for our families and the outpouring of love from my family to my husband was so so amazing.
My fiance and I have lived together most of our relationship, so all of the domestic stuff will stay the same. We own a townhouse now, and I think that a symbolic thing after we get married would be to buy a single family home. It's no rush, but I think that would be most significant. Also, I'm not ready to have children yet, but I do really love that we'll be starting our own family, and that I'll officially feel a part of his.
It's pretty funny for us. We've been together for eight years, and it was only a year ago that we finally could legally get married. Thus, I think that we (and most of our friends) just sort of thought of us as married. When we finally got officially engaged, NotFroofy actually had to change her Facebook status back from married to engaged.
At the same time, having been married before, I can say that there is a change when you get married. Even if the commitments between the two of you are the same, the social support for your relationship goes way up when you are officially married.
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I don't think much will change if anything. The only thing will we will be now officially man and wife and that counts for alot in my books. I am so excited!
My fiance and I have lived together for the past three years, so not much will change for us, either, and honestly, I'm kind of happy about that! Weddings are stressful and emotional enough. It'll be nice coming home after the honeymoon knowing that everything will be back to normal for us.
I can definitely see the appeal of moving in together AFTER you're husband and wife. My fiance has a family member that chose to so that. But, I gotta say, he's crazy stressed out and he says he'll continue to be stressed out months after the wedding, getting to know what it's like to live with someone else. I'm glad that part is over for us so we can focus on just living our lives (traveling, cooking, trying new things, building a home, etc.).
Also, we want to get a dog. And take a honeymoon hopefully by summer of 2010.
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The only major thing that will change is we're getting joint bank accounts after we get married. Since we moved in together about six months before the wedding, we figured it was easier to just hold off until after I'd had my name changed to take this step. Right now we're writing a lot of checks to each other and it's annoying!
Logistically a lot will stay the same, but everyone tells me it will feel different. I'm looking forward to saying "husband" and using all those wedding gifts, lol. We're not completely merged financially yet, so that will happen afterwards too.
For me, the biggest thing to look forward to is just being "Mrs. Hislastname".
I love my name - don't get me wrong...but to finally be his wife.
Plus - since we're legally married (and no one but my parents, his mom and our best friends - who is my matron of honor and her husband...) know - I can't WAIT to finally call him my husband!
Other than those things though - nothing will change.
Well - maybe one other thing - we won't be saving money for our wedding - and instead will be able to pay off credit cards! but - also - i will be getting a $13K raise in January so once the wedding is all said and done with - it'll be GREAT to save that money for other things other than the wedding!!!!
I'm definitely looking forward to being able to deal with bills and calls that are in his name. Right now, companies and creditors won't take me seriously or even talk to me because we're not married (even if I'm the one dealing with the account).
Good question! I think, like other posters, that it'll make my family and society at large take us more seriously. Which is sort of lame, because why should I care? But it matters to an extent. Our families can finally visit us without being uncomfortable and we can stay in the same room when visiting them! :) Also, I'm looking forward to buying a house together. I wasn't willing to consider that before marriage--marriage makes it feel more concrete to me, I guess.
More than anything I'm looking forward to not having anymore wedding-related conversations, I'm so ready to be done with it now. I'm looking forward to calling him my husband. Other than that nothing else will really change. We live together, have all the kids we ever want, and have pretty much everything else established.
FH & I have been together for 11 years & living together for 9...so I thought for sure most adjustments were through adjusting. But then we went on our Engaged Encounter Retreat to fulfill our Pre-Cana requirement & we're closer than ever. Before the retreat, I felt happy & excited to marry my FH...now I feel emotionally & spiritually secure and sure that we're meant to be together. So now, I'm looking forward to any changes that come after the wedding. Probably the most prominent, like many other bees have said: starting a family!
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