Post # 1
I’m just curious – do any of you think that living together before engagement has slowed down the process? In other words, do you think you would have been/will be engaged sooner if you hadn’t lived together first?
Post # 3
We dated, lived together, moved back in with our parents and are now finally getting engaged.
I dont think living together slowed the process that much. It financially slowed us down so in a way yes.
Been living apart for 2 years and are getting engaged this weekend after dating for just shy of 6 years.
Post # 4
No, I don’t think it has. We’ve been together almost 9 years, and we finally got engaged in August. It’s not that he was unsure, it’s just that life happened and now we are financially able to afford a ring and so forth. It’s more ‘being practical’ than anything.
If anything, I think living together for so long (almost 7 years) has made our relationship that much stronger, and we will have a very solid foundation for our marriage. The major things that a lot of newlyweds fight about we got out of the way years ago, lol.
Post # 5
No, but in our situation if I hadn’t moved in with him we would have had to live in two different states. I don’t think that would have sped anything up!
Post # 6
Nope, if anything it’s eased any financial burdens a little and we’ve been able to “test drive” each other in a way we wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Instead of using bonus money for school my SO is using it for a ring, something that would have taken much longer otherwise!
Post # 7
You know, I’m not sure. I moved in with Fiance and his parents before we even started offically dating (granted, they didn’t know that because I was sneaking around, but after about a year of that I was found out and officially moved in). We moved out after dating about 2 years. Then it was a year after that I started talking about marriage. A year after that (so offically 4 years then) that he proposed. I don’t really have anything to base it on, but I don’t even know what not living together and dating would have been like since we moved so quickly.
Post # 8
No. I made it clear that I would not move in unless we were engaged within the window of one year’s time. He proposed within about a week of my deadline which also landed on our anniversary. 😀
If you are clear about your expectations and the two of you are in agreement that moving in together leads to marriage, then he’ll know where you stand on that issue.
Post # 9
In our case I don’t think it has delayed anything. Whether or not we were living together, the biggest barrier to getting engaged (having him get his ducks in a line post-graduation) would have been present.
I think it probably varies greatly by couple, and as with most things, it’s not possible to make a blanket statement or recommendation. You really just have to consider your reasons for wanting to move in together.
Post # 10
I told my Darling Husband right away I had no interest in living together without being married. He proposed 3 months later and we were married in a year. I think it’s easy to comfortable with the status quo when you live together.
Post # 11
@oneofthesethings: Didn’t slow things down for us, but then again I don’t think either of us would have got married without living together first! But both of us were still eager to make the committment even after living together, definitely.
Post # 12
I will not live with a man until I am engaged. Statistically, you are more likely to get divorced if you live together before you get engaged and I rather not chance it. Plus, I don’t want to leave my self vulnerable to the possibility of giving my guy milk for free so he doesn’t buy the cow. It’s not true for all relationships, but for some guys I think it would delay the proposal (due to getting milk for free and whatnot).
Post # 13
Definitely not! We wouldn’t even be engaged if we didn’t live together first, it was a must-do for us. We had no problems moving in together, no “growing pains” or anything like that. It’s really been great the whole time and he proposed just about 2 years after I moved in.
Post # 14
We had some religious roadblocks to living together before we got married. I think it might have slowed us down a little, because I would have been less antsy (not sure about my husband!). I often joked that if it wasn’t so cold I wouldn’t want to get married so much (I about froze to death walking to his cold car so he could drive me home and waiting for the heater to kick in. Not having to commute is on my top 5 list of silly reasons I like being married.
Post # 15
Yes? But indirectly. Financial instability is what’s holding him back. He moved from the midwest to California to be with me, and with paying rent (he was living with his family before), the cost of the move and the increased cost of living here, I think things are progressing more slowly.
However, living together but waiting > LDR.
Post # 16
We probably would have broke up if we DIDN’T move in together. Moving in together saved us from LIFE! The outside world is full of perils and dangers. With backstabbers maskeraiding as friends and family. In our home we are safe. We have each other and our furbaby and food in the fridge. The bills are paid, there is a roof over our head and we have a bitchin’ entertainment system. We can live our lives in PEACE and Plan our future. Our home is our fortress. If we haddn’t moved in together we probably would have drifted apart due to life and it’s hardships. Instead we decided to grab hold of each other and stier our own course together and the ring will come when the money is ready. Until then, we are just happy for what we have.
Our home is awesome…and a lot of people do not have what we have. And for that we are greatful.
The ring will come when it comes.