Post # 1
So I have a question for bees who live with their significant other. My fiancé and I just moved in together, we both lived with our parents before this so this is all very new. Our problem is figuring out when to have sex. When we both lived at home we had sex usually at night in our room while watching a movie because we really had no other way or time With our parents being home. We both worked so we only saw each other at night. Now that we lived together obviously we have more opportunities to do it, and I feel like we have less sex because we are both so tired at night before bed. So when do you and your man have sex? I mean what times during the day. if like to be more spontaneous with it. I feel like we come home from work, cook dinner and do daily chores and we just fell into a routine. Sometimes we’ll have sex while one of us is in the shower or going to shower we will initiate it as he’s drying off or vice versa. So let me here how you initiate it and when you do it.
We do not have intimacy issues or deep rooted issues. This post is strictly asking how to be more spontaneous for someone who is trying to figure out the whole living together thing. We love each other and are slowly planning a wedding.
Post # 2
have it whenever you feel like it. we usually have sex at night. but every now and then we have some afternoon or morning sex.
Post # 3
kate19: This is really something you guys need to figure out on your own- what works best for you.
Sometimes, you need to put the gym or cleaning up after dinner aside- and have a little fun.
Post # 4
We started living together after college. At first it was a sex fest with sex multiple times per day. But life gets in the way of that. We both have high sex drives, so we still do it quite a bit, after 3 years of living together. We do it in the morning lately a lot, three times this week. But this is new for us. We usually just watch TV and one of us starts to fondle the other and oral quickly follows. Just try to turn off the tv, phone or out down the book and grab him.
Post # 5
Just make a point of going to bed earlier, when you’re not totally exhausted.
Post # 6
Whenever you feel like it?
The monotony of doing it every night before bed is depressing. When you feel like having sex, stop what you’re doing it and go for it.
Post # 7
Whenever… usually whenever the mood strikes, it just happens because it can
Post # 8
kate19: We have morning sex usually 2-3 tmes a week. Night time sex probably once a week if that. We have a baby and I’m pregnant so I’m tired by the end of the day and I know he is too! I feel like once we get up in the morning we have so much on our plates that it’s hard to find time once the day has started.
Post # 9
kate19: Do it when you feel like it. don’t be scheduling when to have sex that will definitely take the spontaneity out of it. Honestly, my husband and I usually do it at night, when we’re watching a movie more because that’s when our daughter is asleep, and we want to, however, we’ve done it during the day when she’s napping or in the morning. We do have to work around her schedule a bit, but for the most part, it’s not planned.
Post # 10
The same thing happened to SO and I when we moved in together. We were in such a rut, but we’ve recently made the effort together to make a change, and it’s been great! You really both have to be on board doing this. I tend to be the person that is too tired or has something else I need to do, but then when we do have sex I really enjoy it. It’s just getting to the point of actually doing it that’s difficult!
Sometimes you just have to plan it. My SO thought I was crazy when I suggested that, but it doesn’t make it any less fun. We don’t plan it down to the second, but we aim for every other day. We usually try to do it after dinner rather than before bed when we are both exhausted. Sometimes we will just have a quicky if one of us is really tired, and it’s always worth it afterwards!
Post # 11
kate19: This sounds like an issue you don’t have to worry about. You can have sex whenever! If you’re falling into a routine, or find yourself too tired to have sex before bed, tell him. Maybe you both can work on initiating more when you get home from work? My SO and I get into ruts where we only have it once a week, either right before bed if I can stay up while he’s wrapping up his video games, or when we wake up, and it kills me. But if you communicate, your SO will likely be responsive.
Also, spontaneous sex is the best. I dislike knowing when we’re going to do it. It takes the thrill out of it.
Post # 12
Thank you all for your helpful responses! This is one of those things no one tells you about that happens when you move in lol we just have to learn and get used to the fact that we can do it whenever we want to now. We fell into a routine when we lived with our parents.
Post # 13
It’s so easy to fall into a routine. My boyfriend and I don’t currently live together but I sleep over at his apartment a couple of times per week. We normally have sex on those nights and its normally right before bed. We are a bit more spontaneous on weekends but not much more. This is an area that we could improve in as well.
Post # 14
kate19: It’s tough because living together can easily put you into a routine… SO and I do most of our love making in the shower. We have a giant shower and we take all of our showers together because I tend to get home late and we both need to shower and get to bed so that’s also where most of our conversation happens too lol. I’d say we average 3 times a week, but weeks where one of us is stressed I’d say just 2 and sometimes not at all during the week then 3 times on the weekend.. I guess you just make it work and sometimes you just gotta rally if you’re tired. Good luck finding your groove, completely normal phase.
Post # 15
Whenever. It happened to be at night most of the time, but thats just of us both being home at the same time. But if were off if work or working a late shift, then morning sex had a better chance. Spontaneity is a helping factor In making sex, and other intamacy, fun