Living together before marriage

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Did you live together before marriage?
    Yes : (535 votes)
    83 %
    No : (108 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    While my FI and I had been talking about the idea of marriage about 6 months into our relationship (we have been together for 4), neither of us wanted to get engaged without living together first.  We’ve lived together now for about 2 years (would have been a little longer but there was a 6 month break where we broke up and moved out).  It wasn’t always easy for us, but we learned about one another and in the end it definitely helped us realize what matters and what doesn’t.  I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

    Post # 78
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    On a lighter note as my FI would say “Do you buy a car or a pair of shoes without trying them out first?”

    Hope you all got a chuckly out of that 🙂

    Post # 79
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    I see people in this thread talking about living together. I do agree that if you are not married, and you have no other paperwork in place, couples should not merge financial assets. And when it comes to material assets – say you both have a couch in your apartment or something – it can get nasty and uncomfortable in the break-up if there are arguments about who owns what.

    That said, I don’t think fear of a possibility should be a reason not to move in together – after all, you can risk the same if you get married and move in together (marriage does not make you break-up proof…even if it seems like it can be a barrier against it).

    Moving in together should be a well thought out decision…it should ideally be undertaken by people who are serious and have been together long enough to know they can handle dating before they handle living together.

     

    Forget if I ever commented on this thread, but we dated for 2 1/2 years and lived together for 2 years after that before getting married. It was a good idea.

    Post # 80
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee

    FI and I both agreed while dating that neither of us wanted to live with the other before marriage. Well now that we are engaged, last week we met with the pastor about our wedding- and he was so floored and proud of us for our decision. He knows its not common anymore to save living together for marriage only. We have many reasons for our decision, and I have to say it was nice to get recognized for it 🙂 it’s definitely not an easy decision, but for us it’s the right one. 11 months to go!! We know it doesn’t ensure we won’t divorce- but it’s nice to know we have better odds, among other things

    Post # 81
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee

    We live together because we both wanted away from home and we’re in college. It’s just cheaper and easier to share everything. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without him if we lived apart.

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