(Closed) Living together before marriage.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is living together before marrige the best way to go?
    Yes : (142 votes)
    72 %
    No : (34 votes)
    17 %
    Depends on religious beliefs : (22 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    before marriage!!!

    Post # 4
    9075 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    You never really know someone until you live with them. I wanted to know all my husband’s stupid quirks before I married him, that way I wouldn’t regret my decision. 😉

    I moved in after dating him two and a half – three months.

    Post # 5
    4035 posts
    Honey bee

    @MrsParcell:  I think it entirely depends on the couple’s values and expectations. I personally would not marry someone without living with them first, but I do not negatively judge those who chose not to live together first.

    Post # 6
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t think I personally could get to wanting to marry someone without living with them.

    For the general population I have no opinion, totally dependant on the couples views, morals, religious beliefs, cultural things, situations, and such.

    Post # 7
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I lived with ExH before marrying him, and I currently live with Fiance. I think living with someone pre-marriage is a great way to get an idea about him/her. That being said, I wouldn’t have not married ExH or agreed to marry Fiance if we never ended up living together first. That’s how it used to be done, and those marriages survived. To each his/her own I guess.

    Post # 8
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve read so many threads where women live together with their SO’s, for years and years, and still wait for a ring, and it just never comes.


    While I do agree that living together before marriage really prepares you in many ways, I have to say that I would feel MUCH more comfortable if I was completely confident that I was in a committed, solid relationship. I told my SO about a year ago when he suggested that we should move in together after I finish University, that while I would love to live with him more than anything, I would feel uneasy doing so without a form of committment. I didn’t tell him that I REFUSED to move in without a committment, I just said that it would make me much more confident in my relationship. So, he proposed to me 2 weeks ago :), and we are planning to move in together in the summer. I feel very happy, and very confident. More than anything, the most important factor for me, is that he doesn’t just want to live together to “test the waters”, but wants to do it just as a natural step to our relationship.

    In short, I think it is good to be at least Engaged first, prior to living together. At least you have some form of committment already, and you can already start planning the wedding.

    By being engaged first, you can fasten the timeline, and start your married life that much quicker.

    Post # 9
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Arganique:  Eh, I didn’t need a ring to feel secure in my relationship before I moved in with my now Fiance.

    OP, I moved in with my Fiance after dating for 4 years. We knew we were committed (though no ring) and had discussed our futures together. We were 24 at the time and wanted to wait until we were closer to 26 to get married. I didn’t need an engagement to know my guy was serious about it. We communicated about it and were honest with each other. I trusted that he would keep his word.

    No waiting years and years here because we both agreed on a timeline and went through with it.

    Post # 10
    93 posts
    Worker bee

    I personally wouldn’t because of my beliefs. (Such as abstenince until marrige.) but if someone wants to live w/ their SO, it’s none of my business 

    Post # 11
    3369 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Personally, and I know this is different with all religions, I see absolutely nothing wrong with living together before the wedding. In fact, I couldn’t ever marry someone I’ve never lived with. There are so many different things you would never know about someone unless you have been with them 24/7.

    Post # 12
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I’ve been with my SO for 9 years this June, and we havn’t lived together. I guarantee that I know my SO just as well as if I lived with him. We have travelled together for years, I stay at his place occasionally, etc. I think it depends on the relationship. I think that its very judgemental to say that a coulple must live together before marriage. There are many many reasons why a couple may choose to not live together before marriage, and I think that it may or may not affect the marriage completely depending on the couple so there is no real answer to this question. Having said that, my SO and I will most likely be moving in together about a year before we get married.

    Post # 13
    1994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Well I didn’t vote, because I believe the “best way to go” is what feels right for the couple.  I live with my SO, and I wouldn’t do anything differently. It feels right to us, but I don’t think its necessary to have a successful relationship.  My opinion on this has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs.  I’ve been Catholic all of my life, and my current living situation is so not with the church supports.

    Post # 14
    2269 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think living together is another aspect of your relationship gives you a solid foundation for marriage.

    Post # 15
    2515 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Darling Husband and i lived together before we got married. i do think it’s a good thing to do but i respect that some people don’t do it because of religious reasons. 

    Post # 16
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You don’t know someone until you live with them. A ring didn’t change our commitment, it came shortly after we moved in together. I wouldn’t have been upset if it yook longer. We both knew we’d get married in the future. 

    The topic ‘Living together before marriage.’ is closed to new replies.

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