(Closed) Living Together Frustrations

posted 4 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
7870 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

did you visit him before you moved in?  did you know he was a slob? 

i have to tell you, that when my FI moved in with me, i set the ground rules from the beginning.  things needed to be put away and cleaned up.  i did not want to live in what would become a pigsty.  he lived alone before and it wasn’t a nice place so he never wanted me there (fine by me).

we share chores.  i asked him what he wanted to do so he does those.  now he takes pride in the house. which makes me smile.

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ew sounds unlivable. why isn’t he helping you clean? It’s his place, too!  I moved into my DH’s house before we were engaged and I know how you feel about not wanting to overstep.  But, its your house too now and you will have to work at feeling more comfortable with that and so will he.  It’ll get better with time.

He definitely needs to be helping you clean and keep it clean after that!

Post # 5
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When FI first moved in with me I was worried about overstepping my bounds since he didn’t exactly move in one day.. more like slowly moved in over time, and there wasn’t a clear distinction between him being a guest and him living there.

I eventually got through to him when I said that when he leaves things lying around or a mess, what he’s really saying is “I’d rather not do it; I’d rather you do it.” Then I reminded him about how he hates that his dad leaves all the housework to his mom, and why he’d want to treat me the same way. He now picks up after himself and cleans once a week without being asked!! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
7870 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LemonyItch:  never too late. but do it sooner than later.

divide chores or whatever you have to do.  make sure the roommate helps also.

 

Post # 9
Member
45386 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LemonyItch:  It’s definitely not too late for a discussion amongst the three of you to agree on soome rules and boundaries.

The topic ‘Living Together Frustrations’ is closed to new replies.

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