- 3 years ago
So this is all kind of up in the clouds still but I am a planner and although I will discuss this in detail with my boyfriend this weekend, I wanted some opinions..
My guy and I (both 23) have been dating for nine months.. we are happy and live about 1hr45min from each other.. we try to see each other fairly regularly on weekends and during the week if we can… We have spent long weekends together so in a way I know some of his habits and he knows some of mine.
He has recently graudated from college and is working part time in his town but barely gets any days of work so he is looking for a full time job. He decided to look for work in my city (which is bigger than the small college town he lives in), and at first I was quite excited. I asked him about where he would wnat to live, and after pausing he said he’d get his own place.. So in a way it made us both ponder on th eidea of living together…
As much as I love him, I don’t feel comfortable living with a guy only because it is practical… I would like to live with him if I knew we were getting enganged soon or were already engaged but honestly it feels too soon for that…
He mentioned “what if he needed a place to stay before getting his own place, instead of commuting” and I said of course he could live with me, and we both agreed it would be temporarily till he finds his own. Then I started thinking, what if he just doesn’t move out? I don’t wnat to discuss all this in a way that makes me him I want him out ASAP before he even moves in, I feel its rude, but at the same time I don’t want us to get into moving in together only because of a job..
Relationship wise, we have discussed that we both see potential in our relationship to end up in marriage as in we are both committed to this relationship and want it to last.. He is very practical so isn’t the type to say “I will be with you FOREVER!” but also, in a day by day basis has shown me he wants it to work so I could see myself marrying this guy. At the same time, we are both pretty young and I can’t see it happening till a few years later..
Also, my parents, especially my dad are very conservative. Not religious but just think, sex before marriage would make me “a whore”, and my dad doesn’t know I am sexually active even though my mom does. So me telling them he is moving in even temporarily would make my dad flip! and he can get nasty yelling and curisng at me.. at the same time I feel he will flip eventually no matter hwo old i am.
I currently live alone, have a full time job at a good company so I am pretty stable, don’t need my family’s financial help.. would just like them to be happy for me I guess if it came down to this. I have always struggled standing up to my dad because no matter how old I get, I am still a child in his eyes.. I am the oldest, and a woman. Doesn’t help I did great in school and ahve always been in a way “the model child”. This is my first boyfriend in his eyes (I hid the other ones until I graduated from college since I wasn’t allowed to date). So in his eyes I think he likes to pretend I only see my boyfriend in public palces, we only hold hands and I am a virgin… sigh
Anyway, he just started applying for jobs last night but I guess it made it all to real and I am looking for opinions on the situation. I know we would get along great, sure disagree here and there but it’s not that I don’t think we wouldn’t work living togehter just nervous ig? it’s a big change! so It hit me a little haha