(Closed) Living with future spouse and dividing finances

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: Should Married Couples Conjoin their Finances ?
  • Post # 3
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    You should have a joint account for all bills, mortgage/rent, utilities etc and then your own accounts for your own payments, ie. car, or whatever else you want to do with it. You figure out the bills equally and put in the joint account and then put the rest in seperate accounts. This way no one is arguing that its unfair.

    Post # 4
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Every couple is different. I think its fair as long as joint household expenses are shared equally. My husband and I used to fight about money. Now that we keep most accounts separate, we both feel better because we have the freedom to use our own money however we want without answering to each other. What about separate finances upsets you? Does he make more money than you and doesn’t want to contribute more? Try to figure out exactly what bothers you and come up with a solution that makes you both happy.

    Post # 5
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    This is how we do it and it works really well for us, 

    I have an account in my name only,i call this our “bills account” every two weeks $900 of my direct deposit goes in there, and the rest goes into my own personal checking account. Every two weeks my FI deposits $900 into that account. We use this money for all of our household expenses, including groceries. If there is extra then we just keep it in there and it adds up for when we spend more or buy something for the house or take a trip. We still have our separate money, and we use it however we wish….

    Post # 6
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @missy132:  I was also married before (my FI was not).  My ex and I kept everything separately.  Mainly because he was poor with money and I did not want him bringing me down financially. 

     

    However, this time, we merged both incomes soon after we were engaged and I moved in with him.  I sold my own house after we got engaged.  His account had all the auto pay linked to it, so I just put my paycheck into his existing checking account.  I went from anti merging in my previous marriage, to all about merging for this marriage. 

     

    I do not have any fears of him bringing me down financially.  We have not had any money fights yet, and we talk about money weekly.  So much easier with someone who is on the same page as you!  We set a limit on personal purchases that would need prior consent from the other, and anything under you can just buy without worry.

     

    If you don’t want to merge monies, I would tally up the JOINT expenses (all the things you use together), find a total; then figure what percent of the income you bring home and what percent of the income he brings home; divvy that JOINT total by the percentages.  If you make 40% of the total income, then you put in 40% of the total JOINT expenses. 

    The left over personal money may be different amounts, but this method is proportional to each income.

    Post # 7
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @sienna76:  I thought was a great idea, using the percentages, someone else talked about this on a previous post. They were saying something how you shouldn’t divide the bills so one person is broke. My FI and I divide the bills but I make way more, I brought this up to him and he said he wants to pay half anyway and he doesn’t feel right contributing less…. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Missloveknot:  Is it working out for you guys that way?  Do you think it was an ego thing for him personally (make it 50/50)?

    Post # 9
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @sienna76:  Yes, definetly an ego thing for him. It’s working ok for us, but I do think the other way would be better. Right now I have to pay for everything “extra” because he doesn’t have much money after paying half of the bills…I will bring this up again after the wedding and see if might change his mind, it seems fair….

    Post # 10
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    We have separate accounts for personal use, and a joint account for bills (rent, utilities etc.), then we both transfer set amounts to the joint account each month, and spend / save whatever’s in personal whatever way we want. For large purchases he usually contributes more as he earns more. Also, I tend to buy groceries, but he pays for meals out – works out around even.

    Post # 11
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We have one checking and one savings.  Everything goes in each payperiod (every 2 weeks).  Every other weekend we sit down and do “cashflow” – which means we look at what is to be paid for the next 2 weeks.  We also figure ‘expenses’ and then move everything else to savings.  For something big, we discuss it.  It’s working for us.

    Post # 12
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    @Missloveknot:  This is how we work too except instead of a set amount each mopnth we put in the same percentage of our incomes as I earn more than him and dont want him to feel stretched. Works okay most the time but this wedding malarky has caused some rows!!!

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