Post # 1
I am currently 18, and my future hubby is 19. We will both be 19 when we get married. We are planning on going back to Bible College after we get married, and we will be living in married housing on campus. The problem with this is that we can’t move there until mid August. We will be getting married on June 8th. His dad has offered for us to move into his house after the wedding. He would give us the master bedroom, and he has said we could basically have the house to ourselves. He would move into the spare bedroom, he has said we wouldn’t need to pay anything but we would help with groceries and I would do a lot of the cooking. Future hubby’s mom passed away 5 years ago, and his dad has a nice house all to himself with plenty of room for us. Is this a disaster waiting to happen, or could we actually pull off living with him for 2 1/2 months?
I know many people will say if you can’t afford to live on your own you shouldn’t be getting married… but it’s not that. We can afford it but he wants to save us from spending ridiculous amounts of money for just a small amount of time.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!
Post # 3
For such a short amount of time, it probably won’t be a big deal. Assuming you get along with your FIL and it saves you money, I say go for it. Personally, though, I would insist on using the spare bedroom rather than making your FIL move out of the master. It sounds like he’s offering, which is very generous of him, but I wouldn’t feel right. Just my two cents.
Post # 4
@iheartnerds: I agree. I’m sure you’ll be fine for a few months. I would suggest staying in the spare room though.
Post # 5
I think it all depends on his personality and the relationship you guys have with him. I know personally, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to live with my parents because they would give us space and respect us as a married couple. If we moved in with my FI’s parents, they would be all up in our business and expecting us to do ridiculous stuff (Everything his parents do comes with stipulations, he and I both know and agree on that). If he is laid back and can respect your space and privacy as a couple, I say go for it! It’ll be a great way for the two of you to save up some money. It could also depend on the size of the house… If its super small, things might get cramped but if you have a good relationship with him, then you should be fine!
Post # 6
@meganelizabeth17: I think it would be okay for such a short time. Just be on your best behavior. If things seem heated or you start arguing, plan on you and FH spending some time outside the house until they cool off? The main thing is, you don’t want to jeapardize the relationship with his dad. If you are respectful, nice and friendly for 2 months, it should be fine.
Post # 7
I have been living with my Fiances parents for 3 years… *bangs head against keyboard* HAHA and I am making it (only one more year until he is done with school!!) We have been maing it work because where we live there is NO rental property period… 2 1/2 months is nothing, as long as you and your future father inlaw get along (who knows he is probably really looking forward to aving a woman in the house again!) Just relax you will have your husband and it will all work out 🙂
Post # 8
@meganelizabeth17: Oh and ps. I spend alot of time trying to stay busy in our room 😉
Post # 9
I think for a few weeks it isn’t a big deal. Although I think I would tell FIl to keep his bedroom and take the spare room. While it isn’t ideal I think you guys will be much better off saving money. I also think he is reasonable in his expectations and you guys should both keep up with the cleaning and cooking. Since you are young and probaly will ned housing until your finish bible college if it works out you can probably can save you lots of money to live with FIL in the summers.
Post # 10
It’s such a blessing that you posted this tonight. My FI and I are attending a christian school out of state from our homes. We want to get married in May but can’t move back out of state to our married appartment on campus until August. We are trying to find somewhere to live from about June 1-July 30.
We thought about trying to sign a two month lease because we will both be working full time but we can’t find anything cheap enough to allow us to save any money during the summer. We also tried to find a hotel that has a suite with weekly or monthly rates but everything I have found so far is in a bad part of town. I guess one option would be to pay rent and live with our parents until we can move back but that doesn’t feel right. Our parents feel like if we are going to be married we need to support ourselves and I agree completely. I just don’t think we have found the right choice for us yet.
I think if your FIL is offering I would definately take it. Be sure to graceously cook and clean and don’t be a burden in his home. I wouldn’t take the master bed and bath though unless he completely insists. If he does then I would but I would also be prepared to be extra helpful while living there. Even if he doesn’t see it as you “working it off” i would go in with that mindset so that everyone stays happy.
Post # 11
My FIL offered to let FH and I move in for a couple months after the wedding. We’ll be getting married in May and I should start teaching that August (and FH is going back to school), so it’s a similar time situation to yours. If he offered and you have a decent relationship, I say go for it! Especially for only a couple of months.
Post # 12
The reason we would be taking the master bedroom is because the other rooms only have twin sized beds. Thanks for your support ladies! I think we are going to do this! We really all get along quite well, and his dad is really excited about having a woman in the house again!
Post # 13
The beds got into the rooms in the first place, so I presume that they can be moved out and switched. Take you less than 30 minutes (and you can switch it back when you leave if desired). Or, better yet – you could buy a bed to replace the twin beds, so that you can stay in a queen/double in the future when you visit. It’s a very generous offer by your FFIL to help you out. I think it is very poor repayment to make him change his routines, and something so intimate as his own bedroom, even if he offered to do so. Moreover, think about what a hassle it is for him to switch all of his personal items in the bedroom, clothing etc.
And even if the beds couldn’t be moved, I would still think you ought to decline and push the beds together. Or, decline the offer entirely rather than accept the master. Not only are you moving into his home, you’re not contributing any financial assistance.
That said, yes, you can definitely live 2.5 months all together as long as you are respectful of each other’s space and set rules in advance. I would suggest reading up on the many posts of people living with family for advice and ideas of how to avoid problems.
Post # 14
This past summer my husband and I lived with my parents. We were building our new house while trying to sell our old one. I didn’t think we would end up selling as fast as we did, so we stayed with my parents from June 30th until August 17th when we closed on the new one!
My parents have a 2 story though, so we took the upstairs. We all got along wonderfully!
It can be done!
ps: Congrats on going to Bible college!