Post # 1
I am engaged and have been thinking about allowing my fiancee to live with me. Is it bad to allow him in my house before getting (legally) married and before our church marriage. Plus, do I get married by court on day, then church on another, or should it be done on the same day? How should I go about with this? We are confused on what exactly should we do.
Post # 3
Well, I live with mine and we are both religious. Our pastor knows that we live together and is fine with it. I realize that is not always the case. This is really dependent on your personal faith and also the faith of your church.
Where do you live? In the US, you don’t need an additional courthouse wedding, but I know in some countries the legal portion is seperate.
Post # 4
@mgarcia01: who do you plan on marrying you?
some churches/pastors make it a big deal that this does not happen and will not perform the ceremony and if its important to you to have a certain person marry you you should ask them
Post # 5
@mgarcia01: You should ask your pastor. Some pastors are very particular about couples living together before marriage.
As for your other questions–if you are in the US you just need a church wedding. You don’t want to have to the courts to get married first.
Post # 6
Our Pastor was fine with it, but talk to yours, first!
Post # 7
A lot of churches are strongly against cohabitation. The idea is that living together equates to sex. I heard a pastor say that he would never believe that a couple living together wasn’t sleeping together. Churches seem to spend a lot of time teaching against cohabitation. Plenty of couples sleep together without living together and get praised for not living together.
Post # 8
I’m really encouraged to see someone else asking this question! From another Christ-follower’s perspective, I’d wait… we waited and are very glad we did. I know cohabitation doesn’t equal sex, but it’s still an area my DH and I decided not to even get close to. It made planning a little harder, yes, but so worth the wait. Moving in together AFTER the wedding was such a welcome relief. I wasn’t worried about balancing fiancee/wife attitudes, I wasn’t worried about the example we were setting for others, I wasn’t worried about going “too far” sexually alone in our house, I wasn’t worried about planning a wedding as technically unmarried while acting married.
There was a lot of peace in waiting to live together, which made it completely worth the extra driving time during those few months before.
And as to your other point, we had them done at the same time: marriage license signed by our pastor who married us (not in a church, but same idea).
Whatever you end up doing, if you’re seeking God first, your wedding and marriage will be awesome 🙂 I’m so happy for you!
Post # 9
@mgarcia01: It depends on your church. My personal belief (and a fairly traditional Christian belief) is that living in the same house is ok but having pre marital sex is not.
As for the court marriage versus church marriage, that depends on what country you are in. In my country (Australia) most church ministers are authorised to perform marriages, so there is no need for a court marriage. I think some countries are different though.