Location debate: Current city or hometown, me vs. mom?

posted 3 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you always imaged getting married in Madison, get married in Madison.  My mom would have traveled to the jungle to see me get married.  I’m sure your mom would do the same if you put your foot down.  Besides, that’s only like a two hour drive.    

Post # 4
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Personally I would get married where I live and have other people come to me. Y’all are the ones that have to meet with vendors, get your hair/makeup done, go dress shopping, etc. so why would you not want to be able to do all of that right where you live…as opposed to having to drive back and forth just to plan the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you can do either one. Madison is a pretty easy drive from Milwaukee and one that most people out there are pretty used to driving.

However, with most of your guests being in Milwaukee, you should expect that you’ll get some dropoff if you have it in Madison. Maybe negotiate a really good rate with a local hotel? Madison isn’t terribly expensive.

Post # 6
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Its a tough situation. I grew up in a small town outside of Cleveland, Ohio. But I went to college on the other side of the state, found love on this side of the state, bought a house on this side of the state, and have most of my friends over here. My mom pushed really hard for us to have our wedding in my hometown. But it would have meant having 90% of the wedding traveling, including us. I know my mom views it as I am picking his side of the family over mine but I’m not. I just didn’t want to add traveling to my things to do for the wedding. PLus we are getting a lot of freebies by having it over here. Hopefully my mom will understand one day.

to you, I say do what your heart tells you. I knew I wanted our wedding in our current location. I haven’t really been in my hometown for maybe more than two days in a row every year. I go and see my mom and thats it. If your current city feels like home and you and your FH want to get married there, get married there. Your mom will understand at some point

Post # 7
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not want you want to hear, but I’m in the camp of you get married where you grew up.  I’ve always felt that way and have had to travel to so many weddings for people who grew up in my town.  For some reason it always bothers me. 

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Have it in Madison! I can’t imagine anyone having an issue with driving an hour… My grandparents drove 14 hours to mine!

And if the drive is only an hour, people can definitely leave a little early and drive home that night!

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You aren’t being selfish at all. It’s your day, and you should be able to do it wherever you want.

 

We went through a similar dilemma when picking our location. I grew up a 4 hour drive from where we live now (FI grew up about a 45 drive away from where we live). All of my family, extended family, all of my family friends (40+ people) live in my home town, but I never pictured getting married there. My FI’s extended family lives in England and in California, so we actually thought it would be easier to get married in the city we live in, rather than 4 hours from the closest international airport (ends up, the British and Cali folk aren’t coming). The main deciding factor was the passing of my grandfather (he was unable to travel), and the fact that I wanted to be in charge of the wedding process, I didn’t want my mom to be at the reins.  

 

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@amandarawrrr:  Who’s paying?  If you’re paying, you get final say.  If they’re paying, they get final say.

That said, it’s much easier to plan a wedding in the city where you currently live.  I have planned two weddings; the first was in the city where I was living at the time, the second is an hour and a half away from where I currently live.  The first wedding was so much easier to plan because I could just drop by venues and check on vendors in person.  With my out of town wedding, I have to make plans to drive to the other city and I also try to accomplish multiple things each trip but since I can only go on the weekend, some vendors aren’t able to accommodate me or an appointment.

An hour is not a big deal for your guests to drive to attend your wedding if they care about you.  Some may not be able to attend but generally an hour to an hour and a half shouldn’t be a problem so long as the wedding falls on a Saturday or as a Sunday brunch wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s more of a “traditional” thing to get married where you grew up.  I had the same situation, i grew up 4.5 hours from where I now live and a lot of my family is still there, however I have been here for over 10 years and all my friends are here.  I decided to have it here, close to me for many reasons, mostly for convenience and dealing with vendors.  My cousin did her wedding in our hometown when she lived away and it was a logistical nightmare for her.  She had to make so many trips back home to see vendors and make final prep that she was really stressed out.  I felt a little selfish about having it here but in the end it worked out great.

Post # 12
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would have it where you live.  I think it would be unfair to have it at your hometown for all his side. 

Post # 13
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s only an hour or two away… the guests would literally need to pay for only a hotel (or, stay sober and drive home after the party). 

Seriously, get married where, when, and how you want. Don’t be guilted into getting married somewhere that doesn’t appeal to you. 

For what it’s worth, we’re getting married where we live and EVERYONE (well, besides about 6 guests) will have to travel between a 2 hour drive and a 12-hour flight to get here. We still expect great attendance. Go with your heart.

Post # 14
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Get married where you want, especially if you don’t want your mom planning it, because planning long distance can be a hassle.

I’m the opposite, I don’t want to get married here in Manhattan (too expensive) and I am 100% happy to have my mother do all the legwork back home. So I’m getting married back home. It is super stress free. But I wasn’t attached to getting married here.

Post # 15
Member
8592 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like you should do Madison.  It is definitely easier to plan in a city you live in (as far as meeting vendors goes).

Post # 16
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

He who pays gets a say.  So since you’re parents are footing the bill, this makes things a bit more complicated.  I don’t think your wrong or selfish for wanting to get married where you live now but you’re going to have to compromise with your parents.  Maybe you can have the wedding in Madison, but let your parents/mom pick something else – for example if your down to 2 venues, you can go with the one she likes best or maybe she can have the final say in the menu or vice versa.

 

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