- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I have been spending a lot of time on the etiquette board lately, because I want to get it right! Since we are having a destination wedding, we are providing lodging for the parents and the entire bridal party in a villa that we have rented for a week (which is also where we are having the wedding). When we were choosing the villa, we took into account those in our bridal party that are in serious relationships (long term/live together) and budgeted to make sure there were enough bedrooms for everyone. Those in LTRs have their own bedroom with their SO. Those who are not (actually weren’t dating anyone and hadn’t for a long time, so we actually weren’t excluding anyone), we figured could share a room (two beds). Everything was perfect, I had the bedroom assignments all worked out, and everyone was on board (I had mentioned to those who would have to share that this would probably be the case unless someone couldn’t make it). (Side note: unfortunately, we couldn’t get a villa that was bigger- this one has 8 bedrooms, and anything over that jumped up considerably in price. We thought we had plenty of space when we booked it.)
Here is the new wrench in the works: one of my bridesmaids (who has had a very anti-male perspective for the past 6 months and didn’t even want to think about dating), has fallen head-over-heels for a guy that she has been seeing for about a month now, to the point that she is talking about bringing him to Italy for the wedding. Which is great! More power to her! But unless one of my other bridesmaids drops out (which is a possibility, due to her job situation), there isn;t room in the villa to give the first bridesmaid and her new guy a bedroom in the villa.
This isn’t a question of whether or not she can bring a guest; of course he can come (assuming they are still together in 10 months). But we could only operate based on the status quo when we booked the villa, and as far as I knew she was planning on being single for a long time. Is it rude to tell her that if BM #2 is able to make it, she (BM#1) and her SO would have to stay next door with the guests instead of in the villa with the rest of the bridal party if she wants to share a room with him (and I don’t know why she wouldn’t)?
I’m not sure what else I can do at this point. One option would be for FI and I to split up for the week of the wedding and wait to share a room until the honeymoon (currently his best man gets his own room because he is the only single male, and we didn’t want to do mixed gender rooms for non-couples. So FI could share with him, I could take BM#1’s place in a shared room, and BM#1 and her SO could have the newly available room).
Thoughts? How much bending over backwards should I do to accomodate BM#1 and her SO? I know that I have time to wait and see if they are still togther when we send invitations, but I like to run through all of the scenarios and have an answer ready to go if this is what happens.
Thanks for your help!
TL;DR We booked a villa for our wedding, and the bridal party and LTR SOs can stay there the week of the wedding (for free). One of my bridesmaids is no longer single, and we hadn’t planned for her to bring a SO, because she had been expressing for a long time she didn’t want one. Now she wants to bring the new guy to the wedding, which is great, but we don’t have space in the villa. Is it rude to tell her if she brings him that either he or they will need to stay next door at the agriturismo?