Post # 1
My wedding is coming up soon and I’ve had some concerns coming from groomsmen who are taking their girlfriends to the wedding. My day happens like this:
Bridesmaids and myself head to hotel early morning. Groomsmen and groom head to hotel via limo around 2pm. We take pictures/first look/etc. we head to venue together in said limo to take more photos with family. There’s about a 45 min driving distance between original pick up location (home) and the venue. Actual wedding starts at 7:30pm.
If you were a girlfriend of a groomsman would your expectations be to be by your guys side from 2pm, watch everyone take pictures at hotel and venue? Would you have expectations that the bride and groom figure out your driving situation to get to the venue?
We’re going to assist these girls in securing rides prior to the wedding, but as the bride I would be really annoyed if dates of our bridal party tagged along for the entire day. Maybe I’m out of line but I would hate for people that didn’t have to see me prior to walking down the aisle spend the entire day with me. These girls are coming in from out of town so I totally understand their need to figure out a way down to the venue.
Have you ever been in this situation and if so, what did you do? It’s not a problem or argument but rather whats your expectation for this situation. Personally, if my fi was a groomsmen I would automatically understand that I would not be part of the entire days events.
Post # 3
Hmmm…I don’t really have an answer to this exact situation. I think as a girlfriend I would like to have the option to hang around, especially if there is a ride issue. The girls don’t necessarily have to be in your way; maybe they can lend a hand with setting up or something. I would just try to find a way to make everybody happy, including yourself. But don’t make everyone unhappy to make yourself happy. (Not saying you are.)
Post # 4
There is no reason to have dates of the wedding party hanging around at wedding party photos. Make other arrangements for them and they will survive without being next to their SOs for an afternoon. I was MoH for a wedding and my BF (now FI) was my date. I left in the morning to meet the wedding party for hair and makeup and told him I would see him at the wedding. He had met some of the other SO’s of the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner the night before, so they hung out as a group before the wedding. I hope that’s helpful!! I think it would be rude to assume you are to attend wedding party photos when you are not in the weddig party, just saying.
Post # 5
@MizzStark1026: No I wouldn’t expect to tag along with a groomsmen all day. I’d organize my own transportation to get to the wedding at start time. I’m a big girl I can spend a few hours alone.
Also, not sure why anyone would want to tag along. I’d rather sleep in, relax, get myself some room service and wine or something, watch some trashy reality tv, etc. before getting ready to go!
Post # 6
In my wedding and in all of the weddings in which I’ve been a bridesmaid, there was never an expectation that the bridal party’s SOs would be involved in the photos/getting ready events.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I say they can wait to join you guys at the ceremony site until the time that regular guests would be arriving- because they are essentially regular guests. If any of them get upset about this, maybe you could suggest something for the girlfriends to do together before the wedding while you and your BP are busy- such as getting their nails done.
Post # 8
Whenever my FI has been a groomsmen I never tagged along for wedding party stuff. I hung out with the other groomsmen’s girlfriends. Same for FI when I have been a bridesmaid. He never went to the ceremony but always came to the reception. Why don’t the girlfriends hang out together during the day and then go to the wedding together?
Post # 9
@MizzStark1026: I agree with PP they can figure this out on their own. I would never expect to be included if I was dating someone in the bridal party…..and I was not in the bridal party.
Post # 10
“If you were a girlfriend of a groomsman would your expectations be to be by your guys side from 2pm, watch everyone take pictures at hotel and venue? Would you have expectations that the bride and groom figure out your driving situation to get to the venue?”
No, they can stay behind and enjoy a quiet, relaxing lead up to the main event- your wedding! FFS, they are adults and can spend some time alone. It’s not the end of the world.
“Have you ever been in this situation and if so, what did you do? It’s not a problem or argument but rather whats your expectation for this situation.”
I have not personally been in this situation BUT I do take great pride in being an independent woman who can handle an afternoon to herself. Shit, I’ve been alone all week with FH on travel. These ladies need to go get a bottle of wine, order a late room service lunch and enjoy. DONE. 🙂
Post # 11
Yes, I wouldn’t worry about them. They can handle themselves, and they shouldn’t be expecting to tag along from 2pm on. Only time they should be tagging along is to the rehearsal, if you’re having a rehearsal dinner afterwards, and they are invited (which I would assume they would be).
Post # 12
Thanks bees! I didn’t think I was out of line either, but if I have to figure out what these girls can do for the day so they aren’t tagging along I guess I’ll have to.
Post # 13
Are they over the age of 16? They can get themselves to the wedding. They do not need to hang out.
Post # 14
@MizzStark1026: as long as you make transportations arrangements for the dates to get to the venue, then you are fine.
i would be upset as the girlfriend if you had arrangements for my boyfriend to get to the hotel and then i had to find my own ride or pay a taxi, especially for the 45 minute ride.
i’m assuming they won’t have a car to drive?
Post # 15
I agree with PPs. Our groomsmen’s dates (gf’s, fiances, and wives) figured out their own transportation. You could, if you feel so inclined, could connect some of the girls via email, Facebook, whatever, so they can figure things out beforehand. Otherwise, no worries!
Post # 16
@MizzStark1026: PSH. Tell them to catch a RIDE! My fiance was a groomsman in a wedding that was two hours away and we were living together at the time. He went up there Friday for the rehearsal dinner and spent the night, my butt stayed home and drove up there by myself like a big girl to get there 30 minutes before the wedding started like the rest of the guests. Unless these girls are under driving age (which I doubt) they are just that big girls. They know how to drive, they more than likely have a GPS, they’re just being ornery if they give you trouble.