Lone Wolf Marrying into a Huge Religious Family..roadblock

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Who in his family is so full of themselves that they can’t even be in the room when someone else has a glass of wine?  If it’s his parents, you might just have to go dry, have a short reception, and do a wicked afterparty.  If it’s his great uncle, have the reception somewhere else, don’t specificially mention that there will be drinking, and let them look like a-holes when they get up and leave as soon as someone orders a beer. 

Bottoms up!

Post # 4
Member
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

If you want to serve alcohol and your reception and they won’t come because there’s alcohol PRESENT, that’s their problem.

We didn’t see two of my mom’s brothers for over a decade – maybe two – when we were growing up because they thought we were big-time sinners for having beer at our family functions. We were like whatever, your loss.

You and your FI should not change who you are to accommodate teetotaler guests. And you need to respect that they might not come because they, also, shouldn’t have to change to accommodate your wedding plans.

Sometimes stuff just ain’t compatible. I wouldn’t throw two receptions because of it.

Post # 5
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Ladylynx:  Personally, I think it’s pretty silly that people won’t even stay for dinner if there’s alcohol! However, what if you didn’t serve wine with dinner and only opened the bar after cake was served? Then people who simply couldn’t be around alcohol could jet and everyone else can stay and have fun? 

 

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ladylynx:  We had an affordable luncheon (we had Mimosas, but you could do it booze free)

Then that night we went out dancing and drinking and carousing. So if I were you, I would have a KICKIN’ afterparty that night just for the people who want to party with you!

Post # 7
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

@MexiPino:  I was thinking of this too. 

It would allow everyone to be there for a while and then those who don’t want to be around alcohol can leave if they wish and those who want to drink are free to do so. 

Since you don’t have too many people on your side, I’d just spread the word around that the bar will be open after dinner. 

Post # 8
Member
466 posts
Helper bee

@Ladylynx:  I think its silly to accommidate guests who are morally oppossed to drinking.  If they don’t like liquor, they don’t have to drink it.  Its your wedding and your rules.  The non-drinking guests can suck it up.  Its not like you are forcing demon liquor down their throats.

I must say, I’m with you.  I know, as your guest, I would be unlikely to stay all evening at a dry reception and then go drink afterwards at an afterparty with a rap group.  Thats a lot of partying. 

I would suggest not mentioning the fact that their will be liquor served to family members who might object, and not sitting them at tables with people who are likely to drink.  Otherwise do what you want.  Its your wedding, and you should be able to serve what you want.  

Post # 11
Member
868 posts
Busy bee

@Ladylynx:  hey if I were in your shoes I would likely just have one booze free reception then have a giant house party at your place maybe the next day or following weekend! 

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I like the whole “open the bar after cake idea” @lia:  suggested. I would also be unlikely to go to a reception and THEN an after party. How about you separate the two sides?  One drinking and one non-drinking? Then serve alcohol and have the bar only on one side of that room?

Post # 13
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

As a guest I wouldn’t be thrilled about having to go to three different venues, it just seems like too much.  As much as I love to have a few drinks and dance, I’d probably end up skipping the after party in that situation.

I was thinking something similar to @MexiPino:  .  Have one venue, but just don’t serve alcohol until after the meal and cake.  Then his family can enjoy a lovely dry reception, and head out once the dancing and drinks begin.  Would his family be okay with that?  Perhaps you could find a venue where you have two rooms, or a sectioned off room so the tables and meals are in a separate area than the dance floor.  Maybe that visable division of the events would ease his family.

Post # 15
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Second all the PPs saying to open the bar after cake.  I understand wanting to be respectful, especially when it’s the majority of his family, but I also think people shouldn’t be pushing their morals on your wedding since both you and your FI drink.  For example, I’m vegan, but of course I go to weddings, events, restaurants, etc. where people eat meat.  However, my own wedding will be vegan because that reflects my and FI’s beliefs.

Post # 16
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Ladylynx:  Based on your clarification, I would do a church wedding (seems to be really important to the family) and the reception at a nearby venue.

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