Post # 1
My FI and I moved to a new place almost a year and a half ago, he had lived and worked here previous to that for work and I came once we bought a house. Now this new place is very small (think way smaller then you’re imagining like 1000 people small) and a lot of people are from here, but almost half are newcomers like us. We do have one family in town who we are related to through my FI, but that is it. He did not make any friends really prior to me moving as he works so much and generally doesn’t socialize much.
I am more of a social person, I enjoy having people to do things with other than him and have been feeling very isolated. I work in an office and have met many people through my job (they are customers, my co-workers are much older), but it’s not the type of job where people really like what you do. I have not made a single true friend in the town, never been invited to anyones house or events and not joined any groups. I know it’s my fault that I could get out and do more, but I am quite shy and find it hard to put myself out there alone.
We have gotten together socially with the family in town, but we don’t like to hang out with them too much as they’re into just staying home and drinking which is not something we enjoy that often. I miss living in a place where I had a lot of family, friends and co-workers who I could socialize with. I feel like I’m constantly trecking hours down the highway to go back to my home town, rather than staying around and getting involved to meet people here. I am just wondering if anyone’s been in the same situation and how to go about meeting people in such a small place.
This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by carmor.
Post # 2
I live in quite a small town and honestly the only people I have met/made friends with are our immediate neighbors. Maybe find out where most of the people from there hang out and try to go with your FI and see if you meet anyone. Making friends when your an adult is hard in general but hopefully one day soon you will learn to love your new home.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Are there any meetup.com groups in your area? We have a good many locally and it could be a good way to meet new people with similar interests in your area.
Post # 4
Maybe get a hobby and join a group/club?… I am a homebody and so is my SO, so for me staying at home with my SO and not going out is fine. We specifically bought a big house because we spend so much time in it.
Post # 5
Do you belong to any church? Even in a huge city I didn’t find it so easy to make friends outside of work. Then I joined a church and got involved in volunteer activites and have met some really great people.
Post # 6
I checked out meetup.com looks like a great tool but the only meetings in my area were for Geurilla Mobs and Libertarians?! I don’t even know what either are! I signed up and have been taking my dog to classes and have met one girl there who seems nice, but these courses are in a city which is about thirty minutes away. The Church that I used to go to years ago does have a branch here and I think I will go once services resume (they only have them every two weeks and not in the summer). I am afraid to get involved in activities that are in the city because of the drive, in the winter I am quite nervous about traveling on the highway.
Post # 7
carmor: I grew up in a small, eh, you can’t even call it a town. Drivin 30 minutes plus is the norm. That’s just the way it is. Embrace it. Love your car. Its really not that bad.
I second the meetup group, but since there aren’t any interesting groups, have you thought about starting your own? Do you have any hobbies? Maybe start a book club? Volunteer. It looks like you are getting invovled in church. Join a bowling league? kickball league? Adult sports? I was on a meetup group and I took it over and became an admin because I had ideas n no one else did. I got to meet a lot of cool people(and some weird ones). That’s also how I meet the fiancee. Have you thought about joining an orginization? Are you a professional?
Have you thought about throwing a block party, or if you ar ein the country a party for your neighbors to get together and have fun.
Trust me I know how you feel. I really do. The thing is you have to force yourself to be visible and go out there. Noone is going to show up at your door, well, no one you want showing up at your door.
Post # 8
VictorianChick: Thank you for the last part that’s very true. The driving thing is the winter highway driving in my part of the world is pretty bad, since we moved I’ve been trying to get more comfortable and we bought a bigger AWD vehicle so that helps.
I think I will join the book club through the library here because I love to read and the meetings are too frequent. Thank you all again for the advice, I know the answer is that I have to put myself out there and I will just have to build up my confidence to do so.