Lonely child on his birthday…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is sweet, but in my mind a little misplaced. I was just like this kid, down to avoiding the cafeteria at lunchtime, so I sympathize, but I also feel like it’s important to fight those battles alone because they never stop and the sooner you get used to it, the better. When he gets older, he’ll have the same problems, but without a social media campaign to make people say nice things to him. I may sound like a big humbug, but as someone who went through it, this feels false and unhelpful.

I do hope he enjoys it, though I can say that I recall my own lonely childhood well and can say that at best it would be useless. (At worst, further embarrassment. Who wants to be internet famous as the kid who is so friendless he needs his mom to recruit a bunch of strangers to say happy birthday?) The kids at school (the source of pain) are not going to change their minds as a result of this.

None of those people are the friends he needs, they’re just giving him .5 seconds of their time and then forgetting he exists, and if he’s clever (which I’m willing to bet he is) he’ll recognize that right away and be in the awkward position of having to seem deeply grateful while knowing that most of those people reached out to make THEMSELVES feel better, not him. (Hell, I bet a lot of those people ignored or even bullied a kid just like him when they were young and probably don’t even remember them now.)

Post # 5
Hostess
9910 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Bebealways:  I’m sorry that you had to deal with that as a kid.  Hopefully, for Colin, this campaign will make his day a little brighter.  It may not be the perfect solution, but knowing that people out there care enough to send a card means something.  

My worry is that the kids at his school will turn this against him, if he truly is bullied this could backfire.

Post # 6
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Bebealways:  you bring up a really good couple of points. With a situation like this it’s such a double edged sword. My brother is special needs, he is now 23. His ENTIRE life was filled of his feeling out of the loop, no friends, judgemental peers. He had a really, really tough life socially. I threw a bday party for him at a restaurant a few years back, I invited all of my friends, and though my brother didn’t identify with any of those people as his own friends, he still felt really awesome and special on that bday. I don’t think he looks back on it as a sore experience, or as something he expects to happen every year. I guess you could make so many arguments in cases like this, maybe it can be chalked up to it may be better to have had then to have never had at all? I don’t really know. I think it also hugely depends on the particular child’s needs and disability. Hopefully, his mother knows him well enough to know that this will not negatively affect him one day…

Post # 8
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

I have a disability myself. Some don’t have the capacity to “deal with it alone” I feel for the kid. I know how hard it can be. I hope he has the best birthday ever 

Post # 9
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Bebealways:  Good point. I hope it does help him somehow… I felt so bad for the kid and I admit I liked his page yesterday.

I was bulied at school as well (not as bad as him)… I just felt for him.

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