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I personally think that it's a really long break in between and as guest, I'd be a little annoyed. In all honesty, I don't know if I'd even go to the reception after that. Sorry...
I think you're going to end up with a lot of people going home in between, and possibly not coming back for the reception.
I also think it's a bit long. Could you maybe organize some activity, for example a guided tour of your town or a historic sight, so tide the guests over?
Hey-
We are having a similar issue for our wedding as well. My thoughts are this. Locals and out of town people can always use this time to go back to the hotel/home and freshen up. My intentions for our out of town guests is to put together a packet/map kinda thing to let them know where they could kill sometime in between or throughout their stay. On this map will include such places such as local favorite spots/parks/beaches/historic markings etc. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.
In your planning you are going to be so focused on having a beautiful ceremony and awesome reception. I have to keep reminding myself that people can venture out on their own, so I need not fret on planning something for the inbetween.
Happy planning and good luck!
Best, Melis
Gaps can't really be avoided with church ceremonies sometimes, so I'm sure most of your guests will understand. We also have a gap and it caused me a lot of anxiety (still does at times).. but I'd rather have our ceremony in a meaningful place and have a gap then have the ceremony be a convenient afterthought. The people that matter most will be there smiling.. gap or no gap. You can't please everyone!
It's not that big of a deal! Our gap is 4.5 hours. Our guests understand that with a church ceremony it is what is available. Every wedding I go to has this gap and everyone still shows up to the ceremony.
I think that's a pretty traditional church wedding gap. I'm sure people will be expecting the gap when they see you are getting married in a church. They will totally find something to do... I wouldn't worry about it. Plus as a bonus for you... you would be able to get your pictures done during that time and actually have time to enjoy your cocktail hour! My FI and I have our ceremony at 2pm. We're figuring it should be over by 3 and then we're doing a receiving line so that will take some time before our bubble "exit" from the church. The reception is about 30 minutes away and starts at 6pm. We're looking at about a 2-2.5 hour gap as well. It will give people time to check into their hotels and chill for awhile. I wouldn't worry about it... and no one is gong to go home and skip your reception... that's the best part!!
I think that's WAY too long. I'd be really irked as a guest. As PPs mentioned, unless we were really close, I'd probably leave.
I have a 1.5 hour gap between my ceremony and reception but our reception is being held in a museum so guest have the option of checking out the museum for the intervening time. I'm hoping that's enough to keep them occupied and interested, plus there are a few bars in the nearby area. Maybe letting people know that guests can gather at a local sight-seeing spot or a bar or something during the middle time will keep people from leaving and not coming back? Good luck!
It's common in church ceremonies. If guests are annoyed they will get over it. It is YOUR wedding after all. I doubt people would skip out on the reception...that's the fun part with the free meal and booze! What we are doing is having a hospitality room in the hotel between the ceremony and reception where guests are staying with snacks and yes..more alcohol...hahaha. I guess my philosophy is offer food and beer and people will be happy ;). Meanwhile you can get awesome pictures in between with your photographer.
Where I am from church weddings are pretty standard and a gap is a norm. I think that the cookie idea is really good. I am probably going to have a two hour gap, mostly because I don't want to take photos before the ceremony. Since the ceremony and reception are being held in the same area we are planning on offering hour devours and possibly an activity or two. I like a PP idea of giving guests ideas of what to do around the area. It gives something for OTT guests to do and those who live in the area will probably go home and freshen up!
Why don't reception venues open earlier? Always confuses me why brides pick reception venues for the wrong time. As a guest, if I have enough time to go home and cook dinner, unless we're close, I wouldn't come back. I feel like the reception loses its whole momentum and flow.
@MrsBroccoli: I would hope you would RSVP a "no" then so I wouldn't have to pay for you :)
If guests see the times on the invitation, then they can decide for themselves whether or not it is worth going to...Hopefully your close friends would come anyway because they support you.
I don't know. I have been to church weddings and never experienced this elusive church wedding gap even when the reception was somewhere else? Either way, I think the people that are close to you will make sure to be there, but others may bow out before the reception. As has been mentioned, unless I was very close to you, I would not wait for 2.5-3 hours for a reception to start. That is basically asking a guest to make your wedding an ALL day event and some will love it, others might despise it. At the end of the day, it is YOUR wedding and the people that truly care will make sure to be there. Isn't that all that matters?
@britishbroccoli They do not open earlier because they have morning cermonies too. I loved this venue and am willing to deal with the time but with a fall wedding the sunsets earlier so that makes it difficult.
I am also having about a 1.5-2 hour gap. It is largely an out of town crowd, they pretty much have nowhere else to go so I am not worried about people skipping out. They can go to the hotels or there are enough bars around that they can manage something. That being said, I have been to weddings with long gaps, 5 hrs or more and have never heard of guests being so irked by the idea that they wouldn't go to the reception. In my experience people are excited for you and want to celebrate with you, that's why they are there in the first place. I wouldn't worry about it.
I think people are pretty understanding to gaps between activities. I've attended weddings with gaps in between in the past and we used that time to head back to the hotel and freshen up or go to a bar/restaurant for snacks and drinks. I think the younger crowd at your wedding will definitely use the break to get something to eat and drink at a local bar. The older crowd may enjoy exploring the town, so including local activities with your program may be a good idea.
To be honest, I'd probably go home and not come back. My friend had a 3 hour gap in between her wedding. I had traveled about an hour, so there wasn't anywhere for me to go. I tried shopping, getting a quick snack, etc... but I still had about an hour and a half to kill before cocktail hour. I ended up sitting in my car the whole time, but if I didn't love her so much, I would have gone home.
Another one of my friends had a 2 1/2 hour gap, and she filled the time with an open house at her parent's place. They had finger foods and a mini-sandwich plate. I am guessing that this would be similar to the cookie social you are doing. It worked out well for her since her guests were all local family members, but she did tell me that her single friends and out of town guests not staying at hotels ended up going home after the open house.
I have a large gap too... and I find the fact that people would go home is quite hurtful. We are spending a lot of money and if people just don't show up.. that's rude. There is nothing I can do that my catholic church will only allow me to have a 2:30 wedding and the reception venue opens at 6.
@irish.melis: Agreed.
I also think this is more of a regional differences kind of thing. When I was growing up, that was kind of the norm. That's how it's done in WI, but I don't think it's as common on the East Coast. I've even explained that we want a break between ceremony and reception (to take pictures and for our guests to relax) and they looked confused until I explained that I grew up in WI. They had vendor friends that had done/gone to weddings in the midwest and thought it was the strangest thing. I don't think it's weird at all. We are having everything in 1 location, though, which probably makes it a little easier for our guests.
At my cousins wedding the ceremony was at noon and the reception wasn't until 630. Talk about a HUGE GAP! lol A majority of the guests were OOT and were staying in the hotel that the reception was in. I went back and slept and freshened up because the flight was long and I didn't sleep well the night before and it was also 150 degrees and humid! (maybe not 150 but it was freakin' hot! lol)
So the break worked for us. Anyone that was local was in the army with my cousin so they lived very close to the hotel. They were also big partiers and there was free booze so they definately came back. :P
I would be annoyed if I lived within an hour of the wedding and had agap, but the invite would inform the guest there is a large gap. So they shouldn't be surprised about it the day of. Many may chose to skip the ceremony to go to the reception or vise versa.
I can't believe all the people saying they just wouldn't show up to the reception. I think that's kind of silly? Or rude? At least where I come from, weddings ARE an all day affair. I haven't been to a single wedding that didn't have a 3 hour break at least. Maybe it's because everyone I know had/has a church wedding. I would be really offended if people didn't show up to my reception because of a gap in between. I feel like that should just be expected.
We're getting married at 2:30 and reception starts around 6:30 (cocktail hour earlier maybe?) but I'm worried the gap won't be long enough for our pictures.
The only time I have ever seen this is for a Catholic wedding. I can't figure out what other Church only allows 1 time slot for a wedding. If you weren't Catholic I'd be highly annoyed because I have never heard of a gap otherwise unless the bride is just being picky about her ceremony time. Having a gap because that is what religion dictates? Annoying, but what can ya do? Gap because bride purposely plans it that way? Not cool and I'd only go to the reception.
Mine was an hour and a half break... well needed. We could finish pictures, people could take their children home (not many children were allowed...family only), and everyone could make it back in time before we arrived... STILL A PACKED HOUSE when we got there....... depends on how you have everything arranged.... if they have time to do stuff inbetween especially if there are no kids allowed it could be to give them time to get them to a sitter.
I've never been to a wedding that went straight into the reception. When do you take pictures or do your receiving line? Usually during a gap you either go home if possible or lounge with friends at a restaurant. I think longest gap I ever experienced was 4 hours. It's the brides day and if you don't like it, then don't go.
Thank you everyone for the thoughts and opinions!! We're still ironing out the time situation so hopefully we can come up with a better solution. I will be back once we've ironed everything out and let you know what we decided to do! 
I'm not catholic, the first catholic wedding I went to was when I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. She had about a 3 hour gap. Honestly, if I wasn't in the wedding, I dontbknow what I would have done. I lived about 45 mins away, so too far to go home but not far enough to need a hotel. Didn't really know any other guests there. Don't see what's so fun in going shopping or strolling in nice clothes and uncomfortable shoes. I spend a lot of time on my hair and makeup for weddings, what am I going to do? Freshen up in the mall bathroom? Granted, it's different cultures. In Jewish weddings, you do cocktail hour first so you can do the signing of the ketubah first. But if that's what us the norm for you, then go for it.
I don't think that's too long! I think you'll get some of the opposite of what another poster said. Some people may skip the ceremony and just attend the reception. But honestly, having attended several Catholic weddings, a gap like that is pretty common. I personally have always liked the opporunity to go home and change from my church appropriate attire to party wear. If you have many out of town guests, maybe make up a brochure of things to do while they wait for the reception. I bet most would just appreciate the time to go back to their hotel room and relax.
Seriously, these people who think that guests are going to snub the reception where they're getting a free meal, drinks, and party are either incredibly ornery people or have not been to many weddings. That gap is nothing. It happens all the time and people STILL show up to both. No worries.
Can anyone explain exactly why the Church weddings have such a long gap? What's the go there? I've never heard of it, and I thought 3 hours was a looooooong time.
And goodness me, why would people need to go home and freshen up/relax after a 40 minute ceremony? O.o
So I am really curious as to why it is that way?
Thanks! X
@BerryBerry: I'm not sure about other religions, but there is a gap typically in Catholic weddings because most churches offer the sabbath mass on Saturdays, usually around 4-4:30 p.m. For that reason, wedding ceremonies usually need to be done by 3.
Our ceremony is at noon because there's another wedding at 2pm. So we will be done around 1 or so then we will go for pictures. The reception starts at 5:30-6:00pm for the receiving line to begin. We will be there around 5 to check out the hall and get ready to party :-)
A long gap inbetween the ceremony and reception is VERY common for Catholic ceremonies. Here in Canada, ever Catholic wedding I have ever attended has a 3-5 hour gap in between. My ceremony is at 11 am and cocktail hour does not begin until 5:30. There was nothing I can do as the church I wanted to get married in only had one time slot available for that day (three other time slots were taken). If the gap is too long for some, they will most likely skip the ceremon and attend the reception. That is the norm where I come from.
I'm also from the Midwest, and this is definitely a normal wedding schedule by Midwestern standards, albeit moved back an hour. Most around here have the ceremony at 2 and reception around 5-6pm. People just expect that the wedding party is out taking pictures during that time. As an in-town guest I've gone home before, and as an out of town guest I've usually found a group of ppl go to hang out at a bar with before the reception. It's just normal around here that attending a wedding basically is a whole day event. I've never had someone make suggestions for what to do, so if you do put together some info, I think you're being plenty accommodating to your guests and not inconsiderate of their time at all.
And like other posters said, some people may leave before the reception, but around here I'd say a fairly equal number of people will go to the reception and not the wedding so it never looks like the reception is a lot smaller than the wedding. Around here it's not uncommon particularly for people with kids (leaving the kids with a sitter for the evening) or ppl from out of town to only attend the reception. Hopefully it'll work out such that you don't feel like a lot of ppl have left.
Thanks for all your opinions....I just found out that our reception venue has not booked an early party yet so we can move up our reception :D Let's just hope it stays like this
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So we are having more a traditional wedding. Meaning we are having the ceremony at the church my parents were married in and the reception at a different location. My worry is the length of the ceremony and the gap the guests will have between the ceremony and reception. We have planned to have our ceremony at 3. That being said we were told it should be done either by 3:45-4. The delima is we can not get into our venue for the reception till 6:30-7. That would mean a 2 1/2-3 hour break for our guests. Is that too long of a break or am I just worring too much? We are planning to have a cookie social in the church Fellowship Hall. That should "waste" some time and also allow us the perfect place to have a recieving line. I guess I am just looking on thoughts or similar circumstances. Thank you!!