Long, but I have got to vent.

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

208bride:  I’m sure there’s a reason you picked this woman to be your MOH. I just haven’t figured it out yet.

Given that C is carrying the brunt of the load long distance, couldn’t you offer to book the hotel rooms for her?

Post # 4
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell C she doesn’t need to bother with favors.

As for the hotel booking, I’m confused. You say only 2 BMs can even come. So by my count that’s 4 people: you, MOH, C, and one other. Can you all just get in one room? It doesn’t matter who books it.

I know you shouldn’t micromanage your own party, but this is an exceptional case and I think you should offer to help your aunt with setting up etc.

Post # 6
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can I just say, in MOH’s defence: It sounds like a very big party and huge expectations were put on her. Did you know she was so bad at planning when you chose her as MOH?

Anyway, from here, there’s no point being angry at her. Just plan without her, and do what you can to help.

Post # 7
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Like a PP said, why do you have this chick as your MOH?  I’d be asking C since she’s already done the bulk of the work.  Seems senseless to let the current one stand up there with you and take credit for things she ain’t doing

Post # 8
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Aicarumba.  How close are you to your MOH?  I think it’s time to seriously re-consider her friendship.  How can you even trust she’ll show up to your wedding on time when she’s exhibiting selfish behavior like this?

Post # 12
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

208bride:  with the way she’s planning, sounds like she’d be more relieved than hurt.

Post # 13
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

208bride:  Ehhh, it sucks hard when things don’t go how you expected. I had a BM that was out of town, and a MOH in town exactly like this. I also should have made the out of town BM my MOH instead. But I didn’t for the same reasons. She was in school etc, I just knew how busy she was already. But then she did everything! She was so awesome! Oh well, hindsight… Amiright?

Anyhoo, I would focus on being an awesome bride to C. She sounds great. Love your idea to send her, her mom and aunt some wine. People LOVE gestures like that. Apologize personally to FI’s stepmom, even if it’s over the phone. This was NOT your fault but a little apology goes a long way to smoothing things over. Be nice to your MOH, this isn’t worth throwing an outward fit over. That said, I probably wouldn’t trust her with anything too important now. 

Post # 14
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

208bride:  But it sounds like you wouldn’t be burning bridges over a party.  You’d be burning bridges over a crappy friend who is never there for you and offers you nothing in return to your friendship.  You can keep her in your wedding and then stop being friends afterwards by slowly drifting apart.  But then she’ll always be there in your wedding photos and it might make you sad to look back and remember how your friendship didn’t work out.  I’d cut my losses now if it were me.

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