- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So I’m torn here..
My boyfriend/fiancé and I have a great relationship.. when we aren’t fighting.. which mainly has to do with his drinking.. (of course) but I don’t know where to start other than the beginning..
In December 2009, I was in a relationship with a girl. I loved her.. I met her in the army.. problem was.. I wasn’t gay..
I met adam (fiance) in jan of 2010. I hated him… egotistical prick..
Long story short, my girlfriend at the time was deployed toiraqand I got extremely close with adam.
He was deploying toAfghanistanin july of 2010 for a year while I was moving tofortbraggto live with her.. (crazy I know)
Adam asked me to stay, told me that he had the opportunity to come home early and wanted to be with me.. he thought he wanted to marry me someday,,,
(let me remind you.. we had done nothing while I was with my girlfriend except have an emotional relationship)
I told him I could never speak to him again… even though it was hard..
I moved to NC and he deployed… we went on with our lives…
I couldn’t forget about him.. I was dreaming about him almost every night.. and praying to god that I could just forget everything about him..
In July of 2011 (a year later) I finally decided that I couldn’t deal with being in a relationship, when I was clearly in love with someone else…
So I moved home to be with him.. We were together within 2 weeks.. Crazy right?
So between now and then, the last year and a half has been wonderful.. minus the random drinking fights which we have.. things are good..
Well we are completely different when we deal with things.. I am very external and wanna talk and over talk everything and he is the opposite…
Adam was a bit of a promiscuous guy growing up and I was the opposite.. (only being with 3 people including him)
And has an odd relationship with all of his old friends and flings.. these were never girls that he dated… just messed around with..
Well of course now we are getting married which I am crazy excited about.
Well I have a bunch of trust issues from my family growing up and I question everything… which is destroying my relationship… I feel like.
I was going through his facebook last night and found a convo between him and a friend of his…
Nothing bad.. they talked about me and my insecurities.. which I feel is wrong because those are my private issues.. that I feel should stay between us.
I just feel like…
Why do men have to talk to other women… is this inappropriate.. especially him knowing how insecure I am…
Am I making a big deal about all of this..
Please help.. I am completely working myself up and I can’t focus on anything else…