Post # 1
Hubby just got a call about him moving to Denver, Colorado. We currently live in Sacramento, & he’s leaving within the next two weeks. We’ve been together for two years and I’m not insecure, but can anyone give me any tips/ advice on making a long distance relationship work from three states away? Please don’t be mean and thanks in advance!
Post # 3
@tobemrstaddesse: Send each other packages. When FW and I were LD, I sent her a t-shirt of mine, and wore it for a day and didn’t wash it when I sent it. I had a quote from one of our favourite tv shows put on the front.
We used to watch TV shows/movies together via skype. We got really good at synchronising our dvd’s and streams 🙂
Get over any shyness or weirdness you feel about phone/webcam sexy time. It’s fun. It’s not lame – you’re not hooking up with some random chat room person. Go for it!
Post # 4
@tobemrstaddesse: I agree with Duncan, send packages to one another and include personal items. Spritz some perfume on your wrists and rub it on the shirt, or whatever you send to him.
Plan movie dates, and discuss the movie afterwords.
Phone sex and a little tease over skype is a good idea too. Buttondown blouses are awesome for that 😉
Post # 5
@tobemrstaddesse: I also agree with the Skype. It’s also nice to send pictures via text message throughout the day, of what your doing ect. Always at a min text hello in the morning and goodnight at night. When my SO goes away sometimes I send him things as a surprise. You could send little care packages with things he would like as a surprise. I even sent a fruit basket once, he LOVED it!
Post # 6
@Duncan: +1. Pretty much this. We watch a lot of movies and TV together. It’s a nice way to do something together that doesn’t involve constant conversation.
Post # 7
@Duncan: thank you so much! I’ll definitely do that! 🙂
Post # 8
DEFINITELY SKYPE. My FI and I were long distance for 3 months… seperate months though. And it was while we were only dating. Skype is a life saver… and definitely suprise sexy pictures! I also highly recommend keeping a balance between showing you miss him without being all sad and whatnot. At one poing my FI had mentioned that it really hurt him seeing me that way… and I knew he was doing what was best financially. So its important to show you miss him but to not let your sadness out on him. come to WB and vent about your missing him!
Of course I’m not perfect and I did have some weak moments when I let the sadness get to me… but it was not frequent and he appreciated that!
Post # 9
I can provide some adivice… But my husband and I are not newly long distance or three states away but we have been living 4hrs from each other the past 3yrs.
There’s nothing easy about this, but it can work with a lot of attention and effort which I know you have. You need to make sure you have a life with friends, hobby and work but also share that part of your every day with your husband when you talk. Skype if you can and just make sure you understand that it won’t be perfect all the time… of course nothing ever is, but just know this will be some effort, but not something that cant’ be done. Wish you the best 🙂
Post # 10
@tobemrstaddesse: I’ve been in your position… well sort of. I left FI back in Colorado to move to California for an internship. And it hasn’t exactly been fun but it hasn’t been horrible either. We talk most days but our conversations tend to be short (ish 10min to 1 hour normally) because comfortable silences seem like a dumb use our phone minutes. The thing that has really kept us afloat has been the fact that I’m doing this for our future. I needed to get my foot in the door and the opportunity was too good to pass up. Focusing on what “we” are getting out of the situation has been important.
Talk about how your days were but make sure you talk about other things too. And if you didn’t have much of a life outside of your husband before, get one. You need to keep living life and not dwell on the distance. Make a big deal out of when you get to see each other again but don’t spend every free moment missing him.
Do you plan on moving to Colorado to follow him or is he coming back to California? How long are you expecting to be long distance?
Post # 11
tobemrstaddesse My DH and I were in long distance for nearly 5 years. Some of it was a 2 hour flight away, but much of it was halfway around the world, with him in China and me in the states. While it sucks, it’s nice to hear other married couples doing this. We just got married, and I had to go to China to do research soon after, while he is newly in the United States.
As others have said, messages throughout, skype webcam (seeing the other person’s face can do WONDERS) and other small thoughtful things. Another thing we have learned is to really watch the negativity. After SUCH a long time of long distance, we just used to feed each other negative energy. We would wait all day to talk to each other, and then would unload all of our anxieties, fears, or frustrations we would feel first thing, not talking about anything positive. Try and keep your conversations happy, and it will sustain your distance for much longer.
Post # 12
@giru618: thanks for all your advice and tips! It’s really helping. He hasn’t moved yet but I’m self prepping myself 🙂
@NoOneYouExpect: I do plan on moving eventually, maybe after the Fall or Spring semester. we don’t know how long he’ll be out, he’ll come back once a month so it’ll make it easier too 🙂
Post # 13
There have been many good pieces of advice here, and I wanted to help you out a bit by adding my two-cents.
I know from some American classmates that you are not very familiar with Whatsapp over there. But it’s been the greatest lifesaver of my long distance relationship. SO and I would text each other all the time through the day, send pics of what we are eating, what we are doing or whatever. I think it makes us feel more connected.