Stephieyl: Communication can be tricky. Much as skype is a wonderful invention, it has some pitfalls.
The other person can become just part of the computer pretty easily. You’ll find each other complacently browsing the net during your talk times. One person will suddenly want to talk, and the other will distractedly continue browsing. The one person will feel neglected and then go back to browsing, when person two will surface suddenly, wanting to talk, and the process will go around in a circle like that until both of you end your skype feeling neglected, unsatisfied, and taken for granted.
This is something you have to work really hard and be intentional about counteracting, because it happens easily after a while of long distance. Replace some of your skypes with regular phone calls. Try to limit your distractions when skype is happening.
The other biggest thing – even though it is when you will both have time, DO NOT ALWAYS TALK AT NIGHT. Or at least not late at night. This seems like the perfect time, but in reality you are both tired but not fully aware of it, and the tiniest little things will make you and him disgruntled at each other until every one of your skype sessions breaks into a little quarrel at some point or another. It is weird, but it has happened with us and with every other long distance couple I know. Instead, just set time aside to talk when you both have energy and it is bright outside.
It may feel counterintuitive, but if you can only talk late at night for a couple days, just don’t talk except for a short phone conversation, texting, emails, etc. It is better to have four really good, positive, productive talks in a week than seven that are laboured, tired, grumpy, distracted, and petty. Better to come together excited after a brief reprieve than boredly talk past each other.
Long distance can be pretty tough, but when you get to a low point, please realize you won’t keep feeling like that forever. There are strange natural ebbs and flows in the difficulty of it, and a day where you think “how can I do this?” may be followed up a day later with “I totally got this!”
The good thing about it is that you really have to learn to be committed to loving the other person, even when you don’t feel it as much on an emotional level. You won’t have him to touch, smell, look at as he really looks, and that will take its toll to a degree. Your relationship will have moments of feeling very dry. It is hard, but it forces you to remember what you want, why you love your fiance sans the fluff and hormonal responses to him, and how you are going to stay that way.
Growth through long distance relationships is not usually growth through pain or growth through marvelous good times together. It is growth through eventual complacency and status quo. It is fighting to break through that when it is settling in for too long. It is basically good prep for when that invariably will happen in marriage.
Hopefully none of that was too discouraging! Long distance is not ever truly ideal, but very manageable and can really teach you to appreciate getting to see the other person at the times you do, and my fiance and I have managed to flourish through it despite its challenges, so I fully believe you can too!