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One of mine has been ridiculously helpful. A few of the things she's done from afar:
Designing stuff in photoshop
Looking for inspiration photos online
Offering opinions and helping me make choices
Getting reviews about vendors
Getting in touch with vendors
Online shopping
etc
I was once a LDBM (new acronym!) and I felt pretty useless.. lol I think the day of the weekend of the wedding was the only time that I felt helpful. But the bride was really cute and sent out newsletters, because a lot of us were long distance. It was such a cute way to keep in touch with everyone!
FSIL has been pretty nice. She's been working on aspects of the favors (that I originally didn't want~lol) and working on the shower.
my MOH and another BM are working on B-party ideas and offering ideas for what they think would be cool, or offer support. When I move they will not be LDBM's, though so that helps a lot.
My current close BM (who will become LD when I move) had been great too. She was with me when I found my dress and helped me find random useable items. as a LDBM I will probably have her follow up on the local RSVP stuff here later on.
My MOH's, I have 2 and that's all, no bridesmaids, haven't been any help at all. They don't ask what I've organised and after 3 months we can't even decide on a colour for their dresses. I never knew how stressful all of this wedding stuff could be until now. Thank goodness I never have to do this again.
My BMs are all spread out, too (the closest BM is 7 hrs away!), and it really just never occurred to me to have them do anything. I went dressing shopping solo (even my mom is 2 states over!), have started all my DIY projects on my own....I just kinda figured that's what it would be. FI's aunt is throwing my shower, and since we're all traveling to my hometown for that, I suggested my bachelorette party be that same weekend. While everyone's super excited to do it, I'm 99% sure I'll plan that too (mainly because my friends will want to all go out bar hopping in typical bparty fashion, but I no longer drink...).
All I've asked so far is to PLEASE please please get measured for your dress (I'm even the one ordering them!) which to date 5 of the 6 girls have done. Other than that, I plan to ask them to show up for the rehearsal and wedding. Because it involved travel for them, I feel like that's still asking a lot.
I'm fortunate that my fiance wants to be very involved. He's helped tremendously with decision-making (NOT my strong suit) so far. However, he's officially started studying for the the final CFA exam (financial licensing thing - 3 part, 1 per yr, VERY big deal!!), so I won't really see him much till June, a month before the wedding. Part of me does kind of wish I had someone around to help out or even just sit with me while I'm sewing fabric flowers, but alas it's not to be. My closest local friend just had a baby last month, so I can't exactly ask her to hire a sitter and drive from Jersey to NYC to help me!
Long story short (I think this turned into me venting - sorry!), it's probably best if you go into it planning to do everything yourself. If friends are able to lend a hand to relieve some of your burden, well, that will be great and will make things easier.
I'm in Seoul, my sister (MOH and only attendant) is in Hong Kong, and our mother is in Ontario where we are getting married. My closest friends who would be BM if we were having a larger bridal party are in Toronto, NYC, and Winnipeg....so yes! I understand the LDP/everyone in different places issues.
The only one who is really 'doing' something is my mum who has been great about doing everything I asked. Basically, I give her a task or an area, my vision, and she goes and does everything that needs to be done on the pratical level. My role is doing a TON of research online/contacting vendors via Skype and then sending out all the info to my MOH, mother and friends for 'approval'/ideas. I send them all mass emails every 2 weeks or so with attached pics/websites to check out etc. Although it's really only my mum and I who are 'doing' anything, I don't think I could make these decisions without their input and support, so I suggest trying to open a line of communication where everyone is updated on what is happening and what your vision is as it develops.
I hear you. My bm's are all from out of state...I'm in FL and the closest one is in Washington DC! That being said, I really just haven't known what to do to have them help. I feel bad, but in the end I know they won't really be much "use" until closer to the wedding. And honestly, I am not sure how much help I would really require for them on things...perhaps I am strange, but I hadn't seen the need to bother them with certain aspects of my planning...just the outfit that they will be wearing!
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All of my bridesmaids (besides my MOH) live far away. A few of them have been really awesome recently about calling to check in and offer their help, but to be honest, I have no idea what I can have them do for me! Besides getting their dresses and coordinating with each other on the bachelorette party, I'm not really sure how long-distance bridesmaids can help from far away. I have tons to do, but its mostly DIY projects that I can't really have them help with from afar.
Any suggestions? How have you engaged your long-distance wedding party in the planning process? Should I just tell them to save their energy for everything I'm going to ask them to help with the week of the wedding?