Post # 1
Ok, so I lost my job in January and have been nannying part time to make ends meet. My fiance and I live together. We’ve been together as a couple for 3yrs and engaged for 2months. Our wedding is scheduled for next Sept. One of the families I nanny for is moving to Florence, Italy for 6months. The dad will be doing a fellowship there and the mom wants to take cooking classes and what not. They have a 3yr old and an 8month old (both are great kids). She would only need part time help there, but I would be living with them. I think I could live with them. They’re really great people, but I don’t think I could leave my fiance for that long. I’ve never been out of the country and have always wanted to travel. I’m getting mixed messages from my friends and family. Some say DO IT! others say they don’t think I should leave right now. I tend to agree with the latter. We are planning a wedding in a different state than we live, working on our pre-marriage counseling through the Catholic Church, we live together (split rent, etc), we’ve been talking about moving, I need to look for a full time job still, and my mother was just diagnosed with breast cancer. There is just so much going on. I think my fiance wants this experience for me, but he also doesn’t want to be with out me for 6months. I’m going to ask the family about possibly pet/house sitting for them during the 6months. That way we can play house (in a real house), save some serious cash by getting rid of our apartment & putting some stuff in storage, and we would get to play with their dogs. What do you all think? Should I do it or not? Should I go to Italy for 6months or stay here? I’ve also thought about maybe only going for 3 or 4months, but that still seems like forever to be away.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go, especially since your mother has just been diagnosed with cancer. House/pet sitting sounds like a great idea.
Post # 4
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Go! However, make sure your mom is doing okay and is okay with you leaving. My mom had breast cancer last year and I live across the country from her. I visited several times, went to a couple of appointments, but honestly most of the time she went to work as usual and me sitting home with her wouldn’t have done anything. My fiance and I have been long distance a long time. It isn’t easy, but you need to take opportunities when they come. You can skype every day and will have no problem keeping up on every detail of each others’ lives. FI can come visit for a week in the middle and you can come home once so you’ll be apart less than 2 months at a time.
Post # 5
erinkatie, I read this post a while ago but took some time to really think about your situation. I really can’t give you a ‘go’ or ‘don’t go’ type of answer, because only you can really decide that. What I can suggest, is for you to consider what state your life will be in when you get back. Will you, as a person, be benefiting from going? Or will it cost you more than it’s worth?
On one hand, this is such a marvelous opportunity. You’d be ‘guarenteed’ work over the next 4-6 months (your choice) and will be left with memories that last a lifetime. On the other hand, is this going to take away from finding a more permanent job? Are you okay with leaving everything here and coming back in several months, with your professional life unchanged? That’s something only you can decide. Are you adventerous and a risk taker? Do you like finding yourself alone in new situations, where you aren’t as familiar with the surroundings?
One thing that I really can tell you is that while LDR is so difficult, it most certainly is doable. Skype is a wonderful thing, and there are so many ways to feel connected with a person without them actually there. The first week or two are difficult, but then you fall into a groove and it’s actually not that bad. Really – I promise!
So talk to your FI, talk to your mom (I’m SO sorry about her diagnosis – she’ll be in my prayers tonight!), understand their feelings well since your trip will (likely) impact them heavily. Perhaps talk to close friends who know you really well, as they may have some good points too. In the end, this truly is your decision. Think it through carefully, and then really stick with what you decide, such that there are never any “if only” feelings in the background. Goodluck! And please do let us know what you decide 🙂