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I'm going to sum us up in a few bullets then ask you for advice:
So here's where I need advice. We've never not been within a 20 minute drive and we've been living together and so we're both pretty nervous about these three months! I know it's only three months, but to us, that's an eternity! We will probably see each other once, maybe twice during the three months.
For all the bee's out there that are currently in or have ever been in a long distance relationship, do you have any advice? Any things that help to keep your relationship strong during the times you dont see each other? Any ways of getting through the days without counting down the minutes til you get to see them again? I apologize for my sappy ways -- any and all advice (including, "you're crazy it's only three months!") are welcome!
Thanks!
We were long distance for 2 years. If we went more than 4 weeks without seeing each other, we learned that we got seriously twitchy and unhappy, so we made it work by seeing each other at least once a month. We also bought headsets for our phones so we could just stay on the phone together in the evenings -- we'd watch tv together, or sit in silence while we did dishes, or whatever. It took away the pressure to have meaningful conversation and just allowed us to "be" near each other. We would also occasionally send surprise "Hey, I miss you!" cards and CDs, which were great pick-me-ups.
It'll be tough, but I promise that the 3 months will fly. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. I'm sure you'll be separated again for whatever reason during your married lives, so this will be good practice!
I wouldn't trade the 4 months I spent away from Boy for anything- we grew SO much as a couple. It wasn't all fun, and there was a lot of gas money spent (4 hour drive), but it was worth the price.
One thing that really helped was having the same cell phone company. That way we could gab all we wanted without having to worry about going over our minutes.
Good luck!
I actually wrote a book about this topic, and I just married my former LDP a few weeks ago, so this is near and dear to my heart. (My book is called The Long Distance Relationship Guide: Advice for the Geographically Challenged.)
I think it's great that you know you will only be long-distance for a finite period of time. That means there's a light at the end of the tunnel! Try and have fun with it. Make lots of romantic gestures--send each other love letters, care packages, even romantic text messages (thinking of you, blah, blah). Up the Romeo and Juliet factor--i.e, you're separated by circumstances and must do your best to keep the fire stoked.
Another thing to remember is to try and avoid spending the three months pining for your partner. Try and get out and explore your new city a little bit. Have a life outside of work. It'll make your phone conversations that much more interesting and your relationship that much richer.
Good luck!
Caroline
My FI and I have been apart for 7 months and have 6.5 to go! We met at school and dated...then he moved back to his hometown for grad school and I stayed here. (2,400 miles apart) We had practice being apart last Christmas, but it's been tough!
We found that talking on the phone non-stop wasn't always the answer. We didn't always have lots of stuff to talk about, nor tons of time to talk a lot every evening.
He is incredibly busy with school, so I found that I need to get busy and stay distracted. I picked up volleyball with a rec. league, spent lots of time with family and started bunches of DIY wedding projects.
We talk on the phone 4-5 times a week, and make sure we schedule a long talk on Sunday evenings (just the time that worked best for us) We write handwritten letter a couple times a month to keep the romance alive and text throughout the day. We have a cell phoen plan together so we have free messaging and minutes. that helps.
We schedule trips to see eachother every 6-8 weeks. It's not ideal, but the flight is not cheap, and I have very little vacation time from work.
You'll get used to it (but never like it) and while every day may seem hard, it will go by faster than you think. I can't believe I'm already halfway! Good luck!
See I knew you guys would have good advice!
We're working on getting on the same cell plan -- headsets are a good idea. We were thinking of getting webcams too, but I think it will be hard because of the three hour time change to coordinate long web chats but it will be nice to see his face. Gotta love modern technology.
I definitely don't plan on spending the time on the couch! I will be in a new city but the first thing I am finding is a GYM! I plan to use these three months to get my body wedding ready and get into a good, no great!, fitness routine.
Thanks so much and keep it coming!
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LD can be very painful at times, but can also bring you together. My fiance and I started long distance actually: we'd known each other for 4 years, I'd moved away after 3 yrs (from Seattle to Boston). We were never close friends, but kept in touch. Then I was going to Patagonia and looking for anyone who was interested to travel with me. I thought it was weird when he said he'd be interested, but alright. Then he told me he'd had a crush on me since the day we met...I decided to get over the silliness of waiting til I'd move away to tell me b/c it's pretty cool to know that he'd followed me, literally, to the end of the earth:)
We were LD for a year until I decided to make arrangements to work remotely from Seattle and move back to be with him. In some ways, I think we got so close b/c we started out talking (often for hours) on the phone getting to know each other. It was sometimes v. difficult though. I think the most important thing is to figure out what you guys need as a couple. Some couples are fine not talking for a few days and only seeing each other occasionally. We could go relatively long stretches (2-3 weeks) without seeing each other, but we definitely needed some form of contact (at least an email but preferably a phone call) every day. I think the important thing is that you listen to yourself and your need, not what other people tell you is the "right" way to do it.
Anyway, as it turns out I may bail on him for a year a month after we get married. This was a little unplanned, but it looks like our professional lives are going to work out that way. I guess we'll be racking up the FF miles again:) I guess I was lucky b/c I had to travel a lot for work, so I had plenty of FF miles to get free tickets with.
Good luck! I think you'll find that it'll go by pretty easily, especially if you have the distraction of being in a new place and meeting new people. And yes, the headsets are a great idea! Also, it's fun sometimes to take pictures of yourself if you get dressed up to go out or soemthing...it'll give him something to be excited about seeing again soon...
The thing that helped my FI and I a ton was skype, I only had a headset for a bit, but then I got a Macbook so I had both a mic and a camera. skype is FREE and its bascially like a video chat.
We had conversations, ate together sometimes (depending on time difference), watch TV together and a bunch of little things like that that we really missed.
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I really dont have any advice for you as far as long distance. We were long distance for 6 months and it was a 2 hour drive but we saw each other every weekend. But if your moving to Boston it helps to know people. I live there and if you would like to get together pm me.
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Wow I could go on and on about this topic! First, long distance is DEFINITELY do-able! Second, its great that you have a specific time period, because it is easier knowing that you will be apart for a set amount of time.
I agree with MsUsUk about SKYPE. Look it up-- its a free service online. You can make free phone calls through your computer. If you can afford it, I REALLY recommend getting little webcams (cheap ones?) to hook up to your computer and use through Skype. The service is free, so you'd only need to pay for the device.
One thing that really helped my boyfriend-at-the-time (now FI) and me while we were long distance was phone conversation. We ended up having tons of little phone conversations throughout the day. They weren't long- sometimes five minutes, sometimes just one minute, sometimes 10. But we'd call each other when we were driving somewhere, or headed out somewhere or just sitting on the couch. We knew that these were quick little phone calls, so neither of us expected long conversations. But it REALLY helped keep up with each other's day. And then, in the evenings, we didn't have to have the whole "What did you do today?" conversation and re-cap our day. instead we could just TALK to each other like normal couples. People used to tease us because sometimes we'd talk 10 times in a day. But it really helped us. Plus, on the occasional evening when we weren't able to talk for a while, it was ok, because we had chatted throughout the day.
Thanks!!! It's so great to hear from those who have "been there done that" or "been there doing that"! For those of you who are doing it for an extended period of time I'm impressed! I think we'll be the type to talk every day at least once a day -- we use google talk now throughout the day while we're at work anyway even though we're coming home to each other at night, so I bet that will continue.
Thanks for the skype info -- I've heard that is a great tool, Google talk just came out with video talk too, so hopefully we'll just be able to use our exisiting free accounts with that too -- we dont have the web cams yet but we'll try both when we get them.
Emily Brooke - thanks so much for the offer -- we actually live in Boston now and I will be in Portland for the three months. I'd love to meet up with you in Boston at some point though!! Does anyone in Portland want to be my friend? :)
There is already a ton of good advice that the previous ladies have given, but I'll give my 2 cents, too. I did long-distance with my boyfriend (now fiance) for over 2 years while I was finishing school. In the beginning, it was the hardest thing ever. Long distance is HARD, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But, it will strengthen your relationship more than anything. Three months may seem like an eternity, but you can't dwell on it. Here are a few things I learned:
-Communication is KEY. So cliche, but so true. It was weird to talk only once a day, but he worked 8-5 so we really had no other choice. When it came time to talk, my mind would go blank and I wouldn't have anything to say. Make little notes throughout the day of stuff you want to talk about.
-Try to not get frustrated. My FI and I got into tons of stupid fights in the beginning because we were frustrated with our situation. Luckily, you only have three months so don't let the little things get to you.
-Set events to look forward to. The weeks went fast because I looked forward to seeing him on the weekends. The months went fast because I looked forward to school breaks/vacations/holidays/birthdays/anniversaries/etc. If you can say to yourself "OK, only 10 more days until ____" the time will go a little quicker.
Hope some of this helps. Oh, and "you're crazy it's only three months!!!" Your words, not mine 
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I travel 100% for work, so although I am home every weekend, I don't get to see my fiance during the week. What helps us, is that we stay on google talk while we're both at work during the day. We have anywhere from 2-10 mini conversations online during the work day, and that really helps us stay connected. It also helps to ease the pressure on our evening phone calls. Before, it felt like a HUGE deal if we missed a call or two, but now since we're in touch all day long, it's not as critical.
i've been in a ldr for almost 4 years with my bf, though we've been long distance since the beginning [and the longest we went between visits was an agonizing 8 months but we're both still early in our careers so the money is not so flush at the moment and air travel is expensive!]. what i found is that even with the distance we have a very strong relationship based firmly on trust, respect and communication. plus we really got to know each other without getting distracted by the physcial aspect of the relationship because we were forced to communicate, no handy "look over there!" funny business when one of us were upset at the other. bonus points.
this is what works for us:
1) we just so happened to be on the same cell phone plan so we have unlimited mobile to mobile minutes so we can talk for however long whenever we want. admittedly we don't talk as often as we did at the very beginning but we do call and leave messages with each other during the day and after almost 4 years that works perfectly well with me. just means i can sleep through the night! lol.
2) we invested in webcams and signed up for skype to do webchats. we're also a west/east coast arrangement so trying to coordinate a good time is kind of tricky but it helps that he keeps late hours anyway so we just work with what's reasonable on my end [i'm on the west coast]. it is soooooooooooo nice being able to see his face when we're talking. i only wish we had gotten the web cams sooner!
3) we also talk on AIM and text throughout the day, though the txting is more my thing than his but he likes to send me pictures of things he's doing so i feel included.
4) we do make time for each other. whether by web chat or call. we've fallen off that as of late since i've been so busy with stuff but we had weekly movie dates where we'd pick a movie and watch it at the same time while on the phone or over AIM. then we can chat about what's going on. i loved those date nights.
5) and we countdown the days until our next visit. we try to see each other at least every four months but that doesn't always happen. but when we do have a visit scheduled, we both count down the days. it started because i keep track of stuff like that but he's picked it up too.
6) we make plans for the future. this one helps reinforce the fact that the distance is only temporary and that we're both in this for the long haul.
good luck to you! three months will speed by!
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years, and did the last 3 years long-distance. 2 out of 3 years, we saw each other every 2 weekends, switching so that we would each travel once a month. He's recently moved closer to me so now we see each other every weekend. It definitely is hard for the first several weeks....I think it took me 1-2 months to get used to it, but we made it work by being really consciencious about dividing everything in half....traveling, initiating phone calls, emailing, etc. For us, as we put more effort into making sure one person wasn't doing more "work", we found the distance to be less distracting.
We didn't have to deal w/ being on opposite coasts, so I don't have specific advice there, but as long as you share the burden equally, you will be fine over the three months. I have one friend who spent 2 out of 5 years separated from her boyfriend/fiance by a 16 hour plane ride away...he hated traveling because he had to do it for work, so she would always travel to see him. In return, he had the luxury of being able to pay for her travels, but also would put a lot of effort into cooking for her and really showing her that he appreciated her efforts.
Also, like other ppl have said, you have the advantage of being in a new place, with new people, and you can totally fill him in on all the new details to keep you two distracted from being so far away. I'm sure he'll love to hear about the things you're doing. Anyway, I know it will be hard, but it will definitely make your relationship stronger and you'll appreciate each other even more when you get back home!
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Of course I don't want to say, "three months..psshh that's nothing," because long-term time apart from your FI is never ever fun.
My boyfriend/fiance/partner (I'm one of those label-phobes) is in the Marine Corps. Currently he is overseas and I only get to talk to him sparingly during the week. All I can say other than I hate not being able to call him up and tell him w/e random exciting-at-the-time thought popped into my head, being apart for months and months at a time has only strengthened our relationship...I feel invincible! If I can do this...I can do anything! Haha, cliche time! Distance really does make the heart grow fonder! Appreciate every bit of communication, and you must must start Skyping!
And just as everyone else has said, stay busy, make new relationships, and don't dwell on the distance. Think about how fast time flies by, especially if you can break it up with visits here and there! Enjoy your trip! :)
You have gotten some great advice! My FI and I had a long distance relationship for about 9 months. When we started, we were at the point that we either end or relationship of we were in it forever. I think you're at a good point in your relationship since you were already engaged.
Like others have said, I wouldn't trade the time we had apart for anything! Yes, it wasn't all great, but we grew so much as a couple during that time. Maybe it's true that distance makes the heart grow fonder!
I wrote a blog post, which you can find here, if you want to read more, but I think the most important thing is to keep communicating...even when you don't want to tell him that you've been crying all day b/c you missed him so much! :)
GL and keep us posted on how it turns out!
I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION!!!!
I have been with my guy for 5 years. We got engaged Nov. 2007 and will not be married until Dec. 2009.
A year after we are married, He will move to the coast (12 hours away) for his first semester in grad school. I will be away from him the entire semester while I'm finishing my school.
During that semester, he will miss my birthday, my senior gallery opening, thanksgiving, and his father's dissertation presentation.
I have no idea what I will do. He was my high school sweetheart, and have never spent more than a week apart! We have Ichat that allows us to video conference, but it suddenly stopped working recently!
My advice: I take comfort in the notion that this is the love of my life. I have known him for too long to be worried, and I know that I will soon have him for the rest of my life. In the grand sceme of forever, months mean little.
Good luck, there are others with much tougher situations, be grateful you have found love that lasts :D
These ladies have it right! C & I started dating when I was a senior in high school, and I spent all 4 years of college out-of-state. Not 2400 miles, but still far away! The biggest thing for us was to make sure we always made it clear to one another that we were a priority in the other's life. Whether it was phone calls, texts, mail--whatever--we made sure to make time for each other each day. Share the tiny details--the ones no one else would care about in your day. It helps to make the distance seem less. Three months will be hard, but it will help you strengthen your relationship, and it will help you realize just how in love you are!
Good luck!
I'm going to pile on even though the previous posters have already dispensed all of the wisest advice! My FI and I had only been dating a few months when I changed cities for work, and we won't be in the same city again until we're married. That will make roughly 1.5 years of LD.
I totally second/third/fourth the webcam suggestion. Neither of us thought we were webcam people, but now we have semi-regular chats on the weekends and they're really fun because you get to see the other person's facial expressions - little things that don't get captured in phone conversations but make a huge difference in feeling more connected. We also love crosswords and do the NYT "Solve with a Friend" crosswords on the weekends over the webcam.
I also think it's important to nurture an active social life on your own. This keeps you from pining and feeling sad. Plus, life as a quasi-single person is great! I make spontaneous dinner plans, stay out late with girlfriends or eat ice cream cake for breakfast. I'm a little selfish about my free time and even though I'm thrilled about getting married, I know part of me will miss aspects of singlehood. So I'm making the best of it now.
My parents were LD for about a year and in totally different time zones, with no money for visits or long-distance phone calls. And obviously pre-Internet access. They wrote a ton of letters and my dad, who is not terribly sentimental, wrote her poems! I figure if they could make it work so beautifully, I have no excuse for not making my relationship work in this age of cheap broadband and webcams and Gchat.
I've been where you been and my advice is just to stick it out because it's worth it!
I lived with my boyfriend for 3 years and then after he proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from www.idonowidont.com he had to travel for 2 weeks out of the country on business.
When he came back our relationship was even stronger and we're about to get married, so just stick it out because make your relationship even more great when he's back!
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One more thinig to add to everyone else's great advice: For most of our relationship, my husband has worked out of town during the week and only been back in Boston near me on the weekends. One thing that was challenging was that when we did see each other, it took time to get past the joy and fun of being together again and get to the real issues. The good news is that you are already engaged, but you should keep in mind that if you need to talk about something serious while you are away and would rather do it in person rather than on the phone, you will actually find yourself in a better situation if you schedule the 'hard talks' for a certain time during the weekends you will see each other.
Hope that helped and you know I wish you both the best of luck :)
--Mrs Corn
Wow! I went and held a training session at work and came back to this! Thank you all for your responses I will read them tonight and try to get back to everyone personally!!
Also - Bee/Mr. Bee/whoever handles these -- I love when you call out the "Hot Topics" on the boards, makes all of us Bee-wannabes feel like a part of the group! Thanks!
I really recommend unlimited text messaging. We spent several months about 1000 miles apart, and in different time zones. And we spent several weeks in completely different countries, and up to 12 hours time difference. And while it's great if you can talk on the phone a dozen times a day, neither one of us have jobs that would really allow that, and we both tend to be busy in the evenings when we're not together (even if we are in the same time zone). Text messaging is practically real-time, is discreet enough to do at work, and lets you communicate throughout the day even when you're busy with other things. Plus, even if one of you is asleep or in a meeting or somehow otherwise busy, the other one can still send messages for you to read later. And, unlike a phone call, you can re-read them later if you like.
We also send lots of post cards and short letters and little packages. Getting something like that really lets you know that the other person went out of their way to think about what you might like, and can absolutely make your day.
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After having been on the road for work 4 days a week for a few years, the one upside to LD (although nothing like the 3 months you are facing!) is that we talked more. Sometimes when you are together, you spend a lot of time together, but don't have as many real conversations. Since one of the few ways to be together was to talk on the phone, we had a lot of really great conversations, which I really enjoyed being married to a less talkative guy :)
My friend did a year CA to NY and a few things that helped them
1) Web cams (As many have said).
2) They found unique ways to interact, like Facebook Scrabble - a fun thing that they only did during this LD phase!
3) They tried to see each other at least once a month.
Good luck :)
I am from the UK and my fiance is from NY. We are both performers and met working together. Becuase of being performers we spend a lot of out time touring with diferent comapnies etc plus having to juggle our spare time between our familes and each other. Our one true saviour has been SKYPE!! Download it!!! Itsfree and you can call each other whenever and from wherever for free!!! Get yourselves camera's and the you can video call and for us that it the next best thing to beig together. Keeping in contact as much as you can about everything is the most importnat part of being apart so you dont actually feel like you are.
If you are strong enough, and want to make it work it will. Trust me x
1) Skype!
I also invested in a phone adaptor (~$40 at staples) so I could use my cordless phone instead of a mic/headset. When non-LDR our best one-on-one chat time was when we went to bed so I like being able to skype in bed and fall asleep talking without stranglling myself.
2) T-shirt your partner has slept in for a few days (+ optional airtight ziploc bag).
Ok that sounds crazy but I sleep with my "boyfriend shirt" every night. The 'smell' doesn't last forever but it's good for awhile depending on 'smelliness' of partner.
Oh, I second the internet games recommendation. We played Yahoo! Games together all the time while on the phone, and it was great.
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I'm 1 1/2 years into being LD with 6 months left. We're 400 miles apart, but our schedules make it impractical to visit on weekends. My advice is similar to everyone else's:
In the end, remember, at the end of it all you'll have the rest of your lives to be together...what is a few months apart? It is difficult, but in the end, it has strengthened our relationship so much. I wouldn't change the experience, because it has brought our relationship to an entirely new level.
First, I would like to add that I'm in Portland, OR (just moved here 2 1/2 mo ago), so we can be friends and explore the city together! And, then we can talk wedding stuff together without making other people nauseous.
I think everyone else has already covered the technical part of communicating together, so I wanted to expand a bit on how to fill your days and evenings. My fiance moved to Portland in November of last year, and then proposed to me in January (I'm an Aug 2009 bride), and since I just moved here, we obviously had some time apart. Some specific tips are
1. Because of the time difference (3 hours), he is going to be tired and not able to talk as late at night during the weekdays. A lot of your talking might end up being the day or via email, so your evenings will be hard at first. Fill this time focused on yourself- going to workout classes (I highly recommend this rather the working out on your own so you don't feel as lonely and can make new friends!), classes or self-teaching things you always wanted to learn so you can impress him when you're together (I started dinner projects like making pasta, collecting recipes, etc to beef up my cooking skills), learn to sew or paint, etc.
2. We didn't always talk every day (though we might do text and chat during the day)- but we always said good night verbally to each other every night to hear each other's voice.
3. Plan dates on the weekend! Like we would both rent the same movie, or go to the same movie, and we both agreed to go have pizza/Thai food/etc afterwards and then we would come home and talk about our dates and what we thought of the dinner and movie!
4. I carried around my camera all the time to take pictures of random things to share- a street I walk on, a place I go to lunch, a great looking dinner, etc. so that I would always have a new adventure to share. It made me sorta daring because every weekend I was trying to think of a new adventure to go try and report back to him. The pictures help you guys share what the other is seeing and gives you fun conversations so you don't always feel like you're giving a "how was your work day? Fine? Mine too. Ok..." report every night. And, if you know he's coming to visit, that should also motivate you to go out as much as you can to "test run" for all the great things you can show him!
5. There is a book called 1001 questions to ask before you get married or something like that... I knew my fiance for 7 years dating, and 5 years as friends before that, and that book still sparked interesting conversation that we hadn't gone through before, like about how we felt about our childhood and detailed stories we wouldn't have thought of from school, what we think of our parents, and family, etc. You can use that book to spark a conversation together by doing a chapter or a page together.
Good luck!
My FI's job takes him away often for extended periods of time. When possible, we try to say goodnight everyday. Our special treats include things like random care packages that include things like photos of us doing our normal routine with artifacts from our days, virtual dates where we'd watch things like the same sitcom episode online while talking or IMing, and when we knew the other one was feeling especially blue we'd send a card, but for a quicker pick me up, we'd have food delivered (Take Out Taxi if possible, but if not pizza, Jason's Deli, etc.).
You can definitely survive the three months, and when you find yourselves rambling about nothingness you'll discover things you didn't know that you didn't know about each other. And, you'll be amazed at how you appreciate the little things after.
I seriously apologize for the long delay on responding to this one! I just was so overwhelmed with all the generosity and advice. It's 5 weeks away and we're getting pretty nervous but I just know it will make our relationship so much stronger!
I showed this to my fiance and he was like "this is a lot of really good ideas" and I said "well the Bees know everything!" :) It's so true. You have all really helped a lot and I can only imagine what else you will help with over the next year. Thanks!!!!
My best advice is to think of it like this... 3 months compared to a lifetime together... use the time apart to really appreciate one another and to reflect upon yourself, b/c you guys will be together forever after those short 3 months ... Good luck! I know you can do it! :)
My fiancé and I were in a long-distance relationship for the first 2 1/2 years we were together. I was in school two hours away and he was in school full-time and working full-time as well. It was always hard to catch one another because I would be in school while he would be sleeping or in class, and then when I was home he would most likely be working or in an evening class.
The way we got by was a lot of email at first, then we switched to texting so we would keep up with each other throughout the day. Because he could answer the phone at work (and I couldn't answer during class), I would call him after my classes would finish for the day, which was usually right before he had work or school so we could talk once. Or, we made time late at night after he got off of work (which was 12:30am, and though I was asleep it was definitely worth getting to hear from him). We also tried to switch off on making weekend visits when we could (though we had the ability to drive the 2 hours when we really needed to see one another). My fiancé would also occasionally send me CDs so I could hear the new music that he was into, and I would email him pictures of what my dog and I were up to, etc.
You'll be fine during your time apart, and it honestly makes you appreciate your significant other and the time with them so much. It just takes a little extra effort to make sure you get some "us" time in the mix of everything else going on. You won't always have exciting things to catch up on and there won't always be interesting news (especially if you're talking to them every day), but it's good to stay in touch, it's good to hear their voice, and at the end of the time apart, you do feel closer and really do appreciate the time you do share.
A lot of gals have already chimed in about this - but I second the webcam! My guy graduated in May and moved back up north (6-7 hours) where he will be starting his business soon - and I will be working with him, but until he starts getting business and can put me on the actual payroll, I will be remaining down here at my current job.
We text constantly, talk on AIM every night (webcam too), and he actually calls me more now than he ever did when we were local. Also, once a month or so, I snail-mail him a silly card I picked up.
We've seen each other 4-5 times so far, but it's actually not as hard as I thought it would be. Since we communicate daily in different ways, I don't feel like we're "apart" as much. And, of course, it makes our visits that much more awesome 
Another thing that helps is having something of his. Before he left, I asked if I could keep his favorite (and therefore my favorite) sweatshirt. When it's chilly I get to wear it, and he loves seeing me in it on the webcam, so it's win-win! (I even share it when I see him ).
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I love this topic! My fiancé and I have been apart for 11 months (he's deployed to Iraq) with 4 months to go! We were LD before that for two years- he's stationed in Texas and I'm in Virginia. I have lived the last year glued to email on my Blackberry. We Skype when we can, but internet connections aren't the greatest. I can't WAIT to be able to pick up the phone and call him whenever I want!
I have to echo the posts-- I would not trade it for anything. Not only will I have a deployment under my belt before we get married, but we have grown so close and gotten so good at communicating. It has been such a blessing, and has made getting married all the more exciting!
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So we're now two weeks into this whole "long distance relationship" thing. And I have to admit -- it's been tough! We've had a little bit of a rough time adjusting to not knowing everything about each other's lives and not being apart of everything. He feels like he is missing all the new and exciting things I am doing out here while I am sad because I have missed a few family things plus friend things plus just being around him. One of the biggest things I've missed is hugs -- just touching another person! I'm such a hugging person and being out here alone I haven't hugged anyone in two+ weeks!! It's a strange thing after being so used to it.
I have a few good people out here - from high school and college - that have helped me through the weekends, but it's really been hard for us. We've gotten in a few little fights and ended up apologizing to each other immediately just saying things like "I'm sorry I just dont know how to deal with the way I'm feeling and so my instinct is to get upset." And we both understand that the time change makes things even more difficult as he's tired by the time I'm home from work and ready to talk.
But with all that said -- today is a crazy day for us -- 11 days until his first visit, 11 weeks until I'm home, and 11 months until our wedding day!!!! I made a wish at 11:11 and I'm pretty sure it's gonna come true!!! Yay for eleven!!
I see my LD fiance in 11 days too! I still have 20 weeks to go before we're finally done with the long distance thing (and that's 20 weeks til the wedding)
It's still dragging, but it's nice to be more than halfway.
Awww I know how that feels. Hang in there, it'll get better soon. I know because I'm also another long distance relationship survivor.
My husband and I were dating for almost 2 years before I had to move to Georgia while he stayed in California (long story). We did long distance for almost 6 years before I finally had the opportunity to move back to California last year. We just got married last summer after dating for 8 years. :)
There have been several helpful tips, here are some based on my personal experience:
Awww! The beginning is the most difficult part. It doesn't get easier, but it gets more manageable. It's different not being involved in every part of each other's lives. I remember in the beginning, one of us would get upset because the other was going somewhere/doing something that we knew nothing about. We finally had to realize that we were each just living every day as best as we could...we weren't trying to hide things; it was just different from what we were used to because we weren't in the same city anymore. It was a BIG change not being able to see each other every day. We've been LD for almost 2 years (Feb 17th will make exactly 2 years), and somedays, especially the bad days, all I want is to be hugged by him. Yay for 11 days!!! Just remember at the end of it all, you get to spend the rest of your lives together!
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