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I say go for it! Even if she doesn't have experience, you have time to discuss what you want and rehearse - you can even have her come a day early and rehearse just the three of you a couple of times if you're worried. I think it's so lovely to have a ceremony performed by someone the couple knows and loves, because as you said, they can say some wonderful, personal things that a stranger couldn't/wouldn't. If she's offering, that means she wants to so why not go for it?
My brother was our officiant. I was nervous about getting all the legal stuff done correctly, so DH and I were made legal our wedding week by a Clerk of the Court. Just an option- maybe your mom would feel better with that?
I highly recommend a friend officiant. My brother really personalized the ceremony that I wrote, and it was truly memorable.
Thanks this makes me feel better. I would feel guilty if she got overwhelmed /didn't realize what she was signing up for. How much work would you say it really is?
It really depends on your state. I know that your friend would have to become ordained (can be online. I heard that only takes two hours or so). The concern we had is that I had called the Clerk's office three times and recieved three different responses as to what my brother would have to do (we were all out of state, too) to make it legal. This concerned me. Also, I didn't want him to be responsible for mailing in the license (and I didn't want to either... too much mail gets lost!) Really, I was just paranoid and wanted to be sure our marriage was legal!
I would thank her for the offer, and tell her you love the idea, but you you would like to research more about what exactly would be the process. So maybe you both could look into it and make sure you both know what's going on.
Also, do you have a notary in the family? She could always perform the ceremony and someone else could sign.
Hope this helps!
@Ms. Gremmlin: Thank you! It's just so much to think about. I want to make sure that whatever choice I make is the right one.
It feels weird to me to have some random officiant that I found online to marry us, but it also feels weird to have a friend get ordained for the sole reason of marrying us.
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My friend offered (unsolicited!) to officiate our wedding. She is located in TX, and the wedding is in MD. My mom isn't for this, but she says we can do what we want, so I'm not too concerned with that. FI hasn't said much on the subject. I'm on the fence.
She offered, but I still feel weird about taking her up on it. I know she'd be able to do it because she's really smart and well-spoken and put together. But she'd have to become ordained in MD and I just think it's a lot of work over all. She said she has lots of free time and it's our choice.
On one hand, she knows both of us so she could say some really nice things. We also wouldn't have to pay her as much as a "real" officiant. On the other hand, she has no experience at all, and I feel like it's so much to ask!
Thoughts?
ETA - If we don't choose her, we'll choose a professional we don't know.