(Closed) Long Distance Jealousy

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

haha, been there done that. It’s ok to want the same thing. Sometimes i wonder if we missed out on “joint” wedding planning, but it’s all said and done and I certainly didn’t want to wait two more years!

If it makes you feel any better, my now-husband is military…I haven’t seen him in over a month! Basically since the wedding. Talk about a damper on the newlywed time =]

It was almost less stressful doing the wedding myself. Things were so easy to pick and choose when it was just me

Post # 4
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry!

But does your FI at least WANT to hear about what you’re doing? My FI just tells me to TELL him what we’re having and to leave him out of it. Sigh. Sometimes I wish he’d want to help more! It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s that he trusts my decision and wants me to be happy. Input is still nice though!

Are there a couple key things he can do with you from here on out? Help you with favors/escort cards during the crunch time? You’re almost there!

Post # 5
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

We were talking about this the other day.  We haven’t started planning yet, but it’s already on my mind.  He assumed that I would plan it by myself and just tell him when and where, as long as I stayed under budget.  Except for the cake tasting part.  He really wants to be there for that. Smile 

Post # 7
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We plan together on Skype – video chat + web browsing = idea sharing! Surprisingly I’ve got a guy who wants to be REALLY involved in the plans. Well, maybe he just wants to keep an eye on me so I don’t go crazy on him and throw out EVERY tradition in the book, haha.

Five times a year is hard… twice a year for us, although this winter it’ll actually be 7 weeks together!!!! wooo hooooo ~ up from 2 weeks this summer. 🙂 We’re going to do a lot that month and a half. If only we could spend more than a weekend of it in the city where we’re getting married… I’ll be there a week without him, but work schedules and the cost of flights just prevents us from doing the back-and-forth thing. :/

I feel ya though!

Post # 8
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

I live with my fiance in Australia so for the majority of our engagement we have been together. But I did go home to MA to plan most of the wedding with my mom and maid of honor for about 5 weeks in June/July. Towards the end of my time away, my fiance got a bit blue and would say things like “I feel like I’m not involved at all” “we’re getting married so soon and I don’t feel like it because I don’t know anything about whats going on” etc etc. So I get back and am like “oh this will be great he’ll be all about helping me”. Uhhh, no. His “jobs” which include figuring out alcohol and planning our honeymoon, haven’t happened yet. We have 4 weeks. I guess what I am saying is when he was long distance he wanted to plan and said all the right things. But once it gets down to it, he really is not interested and just wants to show up on the day! And I have the feeling that 90% of the things I tell him about the wedding go in one ear and out the other…Men!

I’m sorry you guys have to be apart. We were long distance for ages and it was the worst. Good luck with everything.

Post # 9
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sigh. I am totally with you Lish! My FI is only 324 miles away, but it may as well be alot more than that. He is totally into the wedding stuff and we do as much of it together as we can when we are together, but these last two months-with a zillion things to do, I sure do wish I could put his enthusiasm that he has to good work with finishing up the details!

Post # 10
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am jealous too, but I am lucky enought to spend half the year with the Mr. I work in Brazil and the phone reception SUCKS! Ten days more for me!

Post # 11
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m sorry to hear you sad about being apart, Lish. We’re doing that now, too, because my FI got transferred to the other side of the country for work. So, I’m here trying to plan here in NYC while he’s busy adjusting to the Denver and he is trying to set up our new life there. I will not be moving out there until about December or so, and basically, except for sizing rings, it’s been a lot of spreadsheets on google documents being sent to him on my end, and then skype.

Seriously though, the best thing that has helped with all of it has been having a great set of girlfriends who will go to food tastings with you and tell you if you have something between your teeth. As much as I love my jason, there are some things that he just is not the person to go to about. I tell him about it for emotional support, but it’s really my girlfriends that have helped me get it done. They’ve even had sleepovers and silly stuff like that which has helped with the blues.

I’m sure that he appreciates all the mighty wedding planning that you’ve been doing. 🙂

Congratulations and all my best to both of you!!

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