Post # 1
I’m matron of honor in a wedding in October 2014. I have been MOH twice before and I feel like I completely bombed the position. I was in college with very little time and money and tried my best but I still feel like I could have done better.
Now, I am financially stable and working at a job that doesn’t require much overtime (so I have a decent amount of free time). However, I live almost 8 hours away from the bride. I have offered to research things for her and also told her to send any DIY projects that she doesn’t have time for over to me.
What else can I do to help? I don’t want to be pushy but I also want to help her out as much as possible. Any other MOH bees that were long distance? Or are there brides that had/have long distance MOHs? What would you want them to help with?
ETA: She is working towards her Master’s right now so she has way less time on her hands than I do which is why I’ve offered to do any of the DIY things that she wants done.
Post # 3
Do research and give her suggestions. Find out what she likes and have fun with it! There’s really not much you can do, and she understands that. When she comes to you worried about things, volunteer to help out (i.e. if she comes to you worried about people who haven’t RSVP’d, volunteer to send emails/facebook messages/etc to those people like “Hi! I’m the Matron of Honor at ___’s wedding. We were wondering if you are going to be able to share that special day with us!”).
Also, take initiative with the travel plans. My 2 BMs and 1 GM are all traveling together, and they’ve all been so relaxed and, in all honesty, lazy about the whole thing while I calculated their gas, booked their hotel rooms, and told them exactly what to do in a variety of situations. My MOH, on the other hand, has all of that taken care of on her end and she’s even arriving 2-3 days earlier than everyone else to help out and get everything set up!
My MOH messages me every day making sure she knows everything she needs to do and she’s constantly apologizing like, “I’m sorry, I know I get annoying, I just want to make sure I can do my part!!” and I appreciate every second of it. She sends me funny wedding pictures to make me laugh and relax and she sends me inspiration, too. She’s doing the best she can and I know that if we weren’t 600 miles apart, she’d be by my side every second of the way (like I was at her wedding..hell, we lived together for a month during the planning, literally! lol).
I’m currently planning my wedding (that is next month, yikes!) with my Matron of Honor, two Bridesmaids, and one Groomsman (all my best friends) living over 10 hours away, the Best Man living over an hour and a half away, and the other Groomsman living close but having no phone or facebook. It’s tough, but you do what you’ve gotta do!
All that matters is that you did what you could and you’re there to support her. (:
Post # 4
I think it really depends on what the bride is like and what kind of expectations she has. From reading posts here, women have very different expectations of what bridesmaids should do. Just have a chat with your friend to find out what her expectations are.
From me, I will be living in Texas and my bridesmaids are in Ontario. I went wedding dress shopping pretty early because it was one day I knew we could all be together, if it didn’t work out I wouldn’t have minded. I sent them a link to bridesmaid dresses I liked that can be purchased online and they all liked them. Once they purchase the dress, that is the end of my expectations for them until the wedding day.
A lot of brides come here to vent about lack of interest and help from their maids. I do not need nor want to talk about my wedding constantly with them and couldn’t care less if they never ask a single question about my plans. It is my wedding, so the planning is up to me and I do not expect them to do any work for it. Since I am the one that is far away I offered to come back to Ontario for a bachelorette so they wouldn’t all have to travel, but they all want to come to Dallas instead. I thought it was very sweet of them and they did not have to do that. We will see how it turns out as it gets closer.