Post # 1
So I’ve been single a couple months and went online to try to get back into it. I started talking to this guy the other day and it seems like we have a LOT in common. The only issue is that he lives 2.5 hours away. He did however use to go to college in the town I currently live in, and says he comes back a lot to visit. I’m 26 and he’s 28. I have not met him in person yet, but want to very badly.
My question is: do you think 2.5 hours is too far to form anything real? Have any of yall made that kind of distance work? I feel like it’s juuust far enough to be viable…as in any further and I don’t think I’d even be talking to him because that’s getting far.
Post # 3
I was in a long distance relationship with someone for 4 year and we were 4 hours apart. It worked for us because I was an actress and he was a musician so we had a very flexible schedule and could stay with eachother for extended periods of time.It didnt work out because he didnt want to get married, not because of the commute.
I would say it all comes down to how often you really think that you will see each other. Meaning, the time and finances to travel.
Post # 4
FI and i met online. He was living in seattle, i was in new york. We were long distance for the first few months before meeting.
It sucked. It was hard. But we talked on the phone daily, and over skype every night. So it worked. We got engaged and he lives out here now. So it worked for us.
Post # 5
I think it depends on your style. have you ever looked at what it’s your love language? Mine is physical touch so its impossible for me to not hug/ kiss/ hold hands etc… On a daily basis. Have you ever done long distance before? 2.5 isn’t that far…a car ride really but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t feel like I was in a relationship ( I live with my fi though). You can always try- it may be different if that’s all this relationship will know – meaning you won’t really miss him until you fall in love and you will already be in to your routine w him.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC
@sweetgirl1234: that’s absolutely not too far! BF and I were about 2-2.5 hours apart for the first 2 years of our relationship and we were fine! Admittedly, it did suck a little when all my college friends had their boyfriends over every night, but I saw him just about every weekend. Now we’re 10 hours apart and THAT has been a somewhat rough adjustment.
To be honest, I think the shorter distances are good for a relationship. I found that it gave me the space I needed to get through classes (or work or whatnot) and still have my own friends and life, but close enough that we could make plans whenever we wanted. He often would come during the week if I had a special event. I like that we can have our own lives when we’re apart rather than hang on each other every second of the day (like several of my friends tend to do). I’ve definitely started relaxing as a girlfriend and in general way more than I ever did.
Granted, if this is not how you normally function in relationships, then I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s certainly not an easy relationship. There are some downfalls, such as we don’t really have any friends as a couple (which can be hard when we’re visiting each other and don’t really have anyone to make plans with), and we have had some communication breakdowns over the years. Once in a while I wonder if it’s worth the distance, if I’m being completely honest. But it’s nothing unfixable, and you learn and grow together as a couple.
Post # 7
@sweetgirl1234: Not too far away at all! My SO is 4000 miles away and it’s been a long, long, long, slow process getting to were we are now. So if you want it, 2.5 hours is nothing. Go for it!
Post # 8
my fiance & I met on vacation when we lived 300 miles apart. we both grew up in the same city though. we formed a friendship which turned into a romance, all long distance. after one year of LDR, and many meet ups/weekends together, I moved to where he lived. We’ve since got engaged & I can’t imagine a day without him. I knew I needed to at least try when I met him, as he was everything I ever dreamed of in a man. Luckily it all worked out 🙂
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for their responses!
@colorofmyheart: Seattle to NY? That sounds really hard, but I’m glad it worked out for you in the end to make it all worth it!
@soinlove79: My last relationship actually was 4 hours away long distance over the span of 4 years, so I was used to it. The difference was though that we were freinds first…this is a guy I’ve never met, so I don’t know…
@CarolinaPeach13: I do see how this can be a big advantage. I’m a graduate student and am VERY busy..it might be nice to not have the crutch of spending every day with a new guy in the honeymoon phase and letting my work life suffer. Those first few weeks of a new thing are always super intense! A bit of a buffer and restricting it to once a week might be good 🙂
@TheVampiresMistress: oh my goodness! 4000 miles!! I can’t even imagine that!
@smirkypox: I’m so glad to hear it all worked out for you! 🙂
Post # 10
SO and I met in person for about 24 hours and then maintained our relationship online for a year 2000 mi apart (with two visits of less than a week each during that whole time period) until I moved out to be with him. We’re about to hit our 5th anniversary and have been living basically together for two years. It’s worth a try IMO unless you are passing up better local opportunities trying to make the long distance thing work. Why not, right?
Post # 11
@sweetgirl1234: That’s not too far. My FH and I lived about 3 hours away when we started “dating”. We did not meet until around 9 months after we agreed to be together as a couple. Lots of skype and playing video games online together!
We were both in school at this time so we could not visit much. He would visit me once a month after we met the first time, and that went on for almost 2 years. Finally, he was accepted into a grad school program out of state, so we both moved there together! We’ve been living together happily for 14 months, and he is about to graduate from his program, after which we will be moving together to Illinois.
I know it’s a young relationship but I want to stress about giving each other space when you cannot reach him or you are not 100% sure where he is at all times, this can cause serious issues for a long distance relationship. Just try not to freak out if you can’t get a hold of him 24/7.
Post # 12
A couple of hours drive doesn’t sound all that bad to me. I think it’s totally doable. As a PP mentioned, you will be able to maintain your own life outside of the relationship.
Just so long as you both put the effort into spending time together as often as you can, I don’t see why it can’t work out fine.
Post # 13
@Ruby_Constantine: Your story gives me hope! Also trying to keep your advice about not freaking out 🙂