(Closed) Long-Distance… with your husband?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I might be in the same situation! I have no advice just looking to hear some also. 

Post # 4
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@KristenGotMarried:  Not married yet but in LDR, military. Skype. Lots of Skype. Also get a good calling plan.  There’s not really much else you can do. If you guys are gamers you can play those together.

It just plain stinks. Sorry. Smile

Post # 5
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have just come home after 4 months away for work.  I hated it and cried alot.   We got to see each other for a few weekends during the time.  We ichatted everyday and talked and texted alot.  Coming home was exciting, but it really took a couple of days to adjust.  I’m do to go back on location in 2 weeks.  I’m desperately trying to find a different job.  I really don’t like being apart at all and I think in the long run would be damaging to our relationship.

Post # 6
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

my hubby is an engineer and he travels mon – fri every week for the most part… but some projects require him 2 go out of state so he stays 10 days at a time .. initially it was REALLY difficult for me to get used to this because i just dont feel 100% comfortable sleeping alone ๐Ÿ™ sad case i know… but over time i think that it has helped our relationship! we stay connected by texting throughout the day, calling eachother during lunch breaks, sending pics of our dinner and of course the late night chats right b4 bedtime. im sure u guys will miss eachother dearly but trust me time apart is awesome! it will make u guys appreciate eachother even more =) 

Post # 7
Member
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Skype is my only suggestion… But I’m so sorry ๐Ÿ™ That is no fun!!

Post # 8
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Also, if either one of you starts to feel tense like there is going to be a stupid argument about nothing coming on just find a way to get off of the phone. It doesn’t feel very good to fight over long distances and not be able to see each others expression. I’ve felt pretty bad getting in a fight and not knowing when he will be able to call me again because of deployment.

Post # 9
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I might be in this situation soon. A lot of the people I go to school with are. Lots of committment, understanding, and skype is what I’ve been told to have.

Post # 10
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mr.ND and I are currently living over an hour apart for the next month yet, possibly 3-5 more. We try to spend weekends together when we can, and we call and text frequently throughout the day. We love having facetime/Skype to keep up, too. It takes a lot of understanding on both sides when someone is busy, tired, or cranky to not take it personally. If he’s eating or I need a nap, we’ll just plan to call back later. Like @Treeline: said, if phone/internet is your only connection, you don’t want to end a conversatino on a sour note.

Post # 13
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@KristenGotMarried:  Have you told him how you feel and is he able to look for a different job?

Post # 14
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think we’ll end up being long distance after the wedding. We’ve been in an LDR since last year due to school, and had planned on getting married sometime this year. If we do, we’ll probably live separately (in different countries) until at least next summer.

 

I know the feeling about knowing it’s not forever but feeling down about it sometimes. I mostly don’t mind the distance much since we communicate every day and had experience being long distance for short periods when I was away working before. But sometimes, especially when we’re trying to plan our wedding and marriage… It gets a little more frustrating and stressful. Thinking about still living apart after we get married is a bit depressing.

Try not to let it get you too down. I think it will affect your marriage if you let it – if you both don’t make an effort to stay connected when you’re apart, if you let feeling sad turn into resentment, etc. I think if you go into it as positively as you can (and believe me, I know that’s a hard thing to do), then you can really make the most of it and be really grateful with the time you do get.

Post # 15
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KristenGotMarried:  Sorry you’re about to be doing this ๐Ÿ™ My dad travels Mon-Fri and is home on the weekends. I’m not sure what your situation is, but if it’s similar, I’ve seen how it can work. My parents are just very particular about spending a lot of time together on the weekends. They go out both nights and do fun things all day Sunday. And during the week, my mom relies a lot on friends (and me) to go out to dinner and keep her company. Good luck! 

Post # 16
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m sorry you’re in a perpetual state of LDR ๐Ÿ™ We are in one too. First my husband was in the Army, and the past couple years he has been doing his dream job and is still in the middle east. I see him about 4/12 months a year. I think you’ve got some good suggestions so far, and I really think Skype can’t be stressed enough! We have “Skype dates” all the time. Oh, and if you’re comfortable with it, phone sex! (Sorry about TMI). One of the hardest things we had to learn was how to have two different types of a relationship…we had to learn how to disagree/communicate in person and also how to disagree when we are long distance. It can be really difficult sometimes. It’s also hard for me sometimes to see my best friends with their spouses/SOs all the time and feel like it’s not fair but I try not to get “jealous” and focus on the time we do have together. 

You seem like you’re already well adjusted to the LDR relationship and I agree, it’s kind of depressing when you think about how many “milestones” you have to miss out on (we won’t be together for our first anniversary and I’m kind of bummed about it!) but I know the time together is so very worth it! 

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