Long Engagement?????

posted 1 year ago in Logistics
  • poll: How long should I wait to get married?
    1 year (start planning ASAP) : (16 votes)
    13 %
    2 years : (63 votes)
    52 %
    3+ years : (31 votes)
    25 %
    Other (please explain) : (12 votes)
    10 %
  • Member
    519 posts
    Busy bee

    Definitely wait. You will change so much in the next few years…. wait until you’re at least 24 to be sure you know who you are and what you want. There’s no rush.

    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee

    @amy_e:  there are many girls that are engaged for two years or more, but personally why even be engaged at all then. I thnk the engagement could wait until you guys are in a posisiton that is more suitable for marriage. Engagments no matter how fun and exciting they are can be very stressful. 

    I know some girls that decided on a long engagement(2 years) and by their wedding day not only were they about to pull their hair out, but thier family was too. An entire two years of planning and talking about the affair can get tiresome. I feel it becomes a burden on the family. 

    Obviously like I stated before many girls were engaged for 2 years+ and loved it. SOme of there reasons were that they did not have to start planning so quickly and enjoy the engagement. 

    But, my honest question is whether or not you are selfish cause i do not believe that you are. Why is he propsing so early if you do bot think yall are ready for marriage? there is absolutely nothing wrong to not want to get married so soon. have you guys given each other a timeline?

    Member
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Wait! You are so young– plenty of time.  It’s a great goal to be more settled and financially secure first.  Smile

    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee

    SO and I are 25 and even we want a 2 year engagement.  You’re young, there is no need to rush, if you want to have a longer engagement it isnt a bad thing, it is more time to get to know one another and get used to living together.

    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee

    @amy_e:  Then in your situation go for it! I just thought that from your tone in writting, your SO would like to only be engaged for a year. But, if he likes it too then go for it!! :)  

    Member
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee

    a long engagement is fine especially in this scenario

    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee

    However long you can until you are emotinally and financially ready. Plan accordingly and you will know how long till the wedding. No need to rush or drag it out. When the time is right you’ll be able to realize.

    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it’s wise of you to wait and shows your maturity level about the situation.  It’s not selfish it’s rationale!

    Member
    3324 posts
    Sugar bee

    @amy_e:  don’t. people always get so caught up in the glorious wedding day, forgetting that it’s the first day of the rest of your life as a married.

    just wait. :)

    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee

    If you haven’t already, you and your bf could come up with an idea of what you envision for your wedding day (type of venue and size.  all the bells and whistles? a lot of DIY? during the peak “wedding season”?) and then figure out how much time and money you might need to  pull that off.  If you can make that happen in 2 yrs or less, I say go ahead and get engaged soon.  If not, might be worth waiting a little while longer…as a PP had mentioned, planning your wedding for that long might get stressful (for you and others).  You do save with some vendors by booking ahead…but, it is more time to think, look at magazines, etc., and may end up spending more (or feeling like you have to).  Good luck, and regardless, congrats!

    Member
    10688 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I think waiting is not selfish at all, but a mature and responsible thing to do. 

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