Post # 1
Just because I’m curious: what do you think a “long engagement” means? How long is “long”?
If my SO proposed to me this year, we would probably have a 1 1/2-2 year engagement. I’d be happy to be engaged now and wait until 2015 for the wedding, as I’m in grad school and would like to be able to live with him full-time once we were married. But I know that sometimes more than a year is considered “long.”
What are/were your reasons for being engaged for more than a year?
Post # 3
Part of the reason I’m wondering this is because I suspect that my SO may be one of those who sees no point in being engaged for more than a year. Garumph.
Post # 4
We’re having a 3.5 year engagement; I’d class anything over 2 years as long. I personally don’t see 2 years as particularly long as some venues we looked at got booked up 2 years in advance, likewise photographers; we’d always have had a 1.5-2 year engagement for this reason (as we’re marrying at peak season and wanted plenty of choice when it came to important things like the venue, photographer etc)
Post # 5
I said I see one year as long. I see engagement as the time you need to plan the wedding – period. I was engaged for 4 months and it was more than enough time.
Post # 6
I think over 2 is long. I’ll be engaged two years, one month, and six days at the time of my wedding, and only the past two or three months have begun to feel like “gee, why aren’t we married already!?!?” My fiance was initially SHOCKED at a 2 year engagement, because he was originally in the “as long as it takes to plan a wedding” camp, but I’m in the “you should get engaged as soon as you know you will eventually be marrying each other” camp. And fortunately my argument that engagement/betrothal is a promise of marriage swayed him. But in my opinion, once you’ve verbalized to each other your intent/plan to marry that person in the future, you are engaged. That is what engagement is – a promise to marry. The ring and picture-perfect proposal are just nice excesses.
Post # 7
These days, I also see anything two years or over as long. We considered our two year, four month engagement to be long. Engagements around 1.5 years seem to be the norm around here, so that doesn’t seem especially long to me.
Post # 8
We’re having a 28 month (2 1/3) year engagement. I wasn’t planning on it being that long as I was thinking I would have to wait much longer into this year to get engaged. He proposed NYE and oh! I guess it’ll have to be 28 months!
We’re also not rolling in dough and our parents aren’t able to contribute. I’m a social worker and he’s a city employee but we haven’t seen raises in years – FI just got a 2.5% raise and everyone was celebrating! My COLA raise got cut from 3% to 1%, which does nothing for me. Hey, at least I have a job…
2 years is enough for us to save aggressively and have the wedding we’ve always wanted. I also get a step up on our date. 🙂
Post # 9
I think it depends on how long it takes you to plan the wedding. If you are actively planinng the wedding and it takes you 2 years to do that (i.e. a venue is booked 2 years in advance), then I don’t thin it would be that long. But if you just get engaged and sit on the engagement for a year before you do anything to prepare for the wedding, I think it’s a long time. Does that make sense? I think the engagement period is when you plan the wedding, and I never understood why a couple would get engaged then not plan a wedding. If you aren’t wanting to get married as soon as you can, then why get engaged? That’s just my opinion.
Post # 10
I think anything over 2 years is long.
I can totally understand something like 1.5 yrs because many times people want to get married at a certain time of year, pushing it out to longer than one year.
Post # 11
I think anything over 2 years is long. I don’t know where I heard or read it but I heard that after 2 years the statistics show the liklihood of an engagement leading to marriage is lessened. My SO & I won’t be engaged for over 2 years. We both agree somewhere between 1 & 1 1/2 years is good.
ETA: I just tried to google that statistic & came up with nothing so I have NO idea where I got it from or why it’s in my head. Maybe it’s just hearsay lol
Post # 12
Anything over a year is long to me!
Post # 13
@Creiddylad: I think of anything over a year as a long engagement. It generally takes a year or so to get the venue booked, 8 months to get a dress, etc.
When I hear of an engagement going much longer than that, I usually assume the couple is pretty young, finishing school etc.
Long engagements are fine, depending on the reasons. If the guy bought a ring to shut the girl up, and no date is set and they’re “engaged” for years, I get suspicious. If it’s because a couple has a specific venue in mind and/or wants to save or finish school first then I totally get it. I do start to wonder the point of being engaged when it’s 2+ years, though… that’s really far away to me.
To me, an engagement isn’t so much about being more committed or anything, it’s more like the period that leads up to the wedding so you have time to get everything done.
We’ll probably have a fairly short engagement since we’re eloping.
Post # 14
We got engaged just over a year ago. We knew we wanted a fall wedding, but needed the extra year to save some more money so that we were comfortable with it which is why we’ll end up with a 20 month engagement.
Post # 15
We’ll be engaged for a little over a year when we get married. People have remarked that it is a “long engagement” or whatnot… but the reason it is that long is b/c I really wanted a fall wedding, and no way was I planning a wedding in 2 months time! 😛
So, we waited for THIS fall.
Post # 16
I think that anything over 2 years is long. FI and I are having a 4 year long engagement, which is probabaly incredibly long for a lot of people.