- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Oh dear. Where shall I begin.
My FI and I got engaged in October. He had planned to propose in August, but due to a variety of factors (which I understand & agree with mostly) he chose to wait a couple more months. Before getting engaged, we were together for 4 1/2 years, and I had been waiting for a proposal for a long time.
We are planning our wedding for May 2015. I am in grad school and want to graduate before we are married, thus the 18 month engagement.
I must admit, although I thought a longer engagement was a good idea (would give us more time to save money, more time to find vendors, more time to make sure everything would be just right despite our tight budget), I am finding it extremely annoying at this point.
We’ve been looking for a venue and tossing around venue ideas since November. We have one that we can afford and that we really like, but that is far from my parents/my childhood home and my parents are making a stink about that. Now my parents are willing to help us financially to enable us to potentially choose a more expensive venue (that happens to be closer to them). I feel aggravated, emotionally manipulated, and extremely annoyed that it’s taking months just to pick a stupid venue, and the longer the venue search drags on, the more like a fantasy the whole wedding feels.
I hate continually feeling like the wedding is just a fantasy. When I say that to people (my parents and I feel like 1 other person I’ve talked to), they actually say, “well it IS far away.” Like it’s TOO far away for their taste. Well it doesn’t matter, it was OUR CHOICE to do it that way and their opinion doesn’t matter. But it is too far away– upsettingly so. We really want to be married in spring, and since we live in Vermont (a very popular destination wedding area) practically everything for 2014 is booked already– so even if we wanted to move the wedding date up, we couldn’t, both because there wouldn’t be enough choice in venues, and because then we’d have even less $ to play with.
It’s just so frustrating. I absolutely detest the feeling that this wedding is so far off and it’s maddening that after 3 months of being engaged, NOTHING has been chosen or booked. I want to book a venue and get started on sewing my dress, but there are endless issues with choosing a venue, and my mother says about the dress, “maybe you should wait until closer to your wedding, it’s so far away that you might change your mind and not like your dress anymore” (since I am sewing my own dress I’m not worried about the dress taking a long time to come in; I am worried about it taking me a long time to sew).
I also hate that my parents seem to have a lot of emotional control over me with the whole venue location thing. I know I need to not care and pick something that’s right for my FI and me, but the idea of going with a place that my parents aren’t happy with bothers me more than I like to admit (and I’m 26 years old, I should be past that garbage by now).
This wedding stuff is hard. Not fun anymore. 🙁