Long Engagement or Longer Wait?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

uncltredpearl:  I always sided with the the “wait” argument. To me, part of an engagement means you are actively planning a wedding. It’ s a fun time when family/friends are able to talk about the big day, show their excitement, etc. If you don’t even have any set plans, that excitement will soon fizzle for you friends and family. Although I am sure they will become more excited once you start planning, it may not seem real because it’s so far away. We are 8 months in to a 12 month engagement and the wait is killer! We are just so excited about being married, even 12 months is a long time to wait. I can’t imagine doing 4 years!

Post # 4
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would wait too, but maybe not until 1 year out. I always thought I wanted a 1 year engagement, but I ended up with a 19 month engagement (I got impatient haha) and honestly it’s been great. It’s been nice to take things one at a time and do the planning as I’ve had time. But I don’t think that would be the case with a 4 year engagement because there’s really very little planning you can do that early. I do think the excitement would fizzle out and it would take something away from that experience.

Post # 5
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why you have to wait so long before getting married?

Post # 6
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

I would have preferred being engaged sooner and having a longer engagement. As it is, we have a 2-year engagement.

The first few months, we got to enjoy just being engaged and everyone being happy for us without the stress of planning the wedding. Then, yeah, it kind of became a new normal for a few months, but a happier, more committed normal. But a few months ago, we started actively planning the wedding for next summer, and the excitement all came alive again, even stronger as the details are becoming more concrete. So I think, all things considered, we’re getting to enjoy more “engagement excitement” time than we would have if the engagement lasted only a year.

So I wouldn’t worry about it dying down. Yes, it’ll do that, but then it’ll get exciting again when you start planning. 

Post # 7
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

uncltredpearl:  2 1/2 year engagement was fine with me, and yes, we did make it to the altar. Time flies.

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

uncltredpearl:  It seems like you’re worried about having a wedding with the craziness of school and work going on.  That’s understandable, but if you want to be married sooner, then there’s definitely a way to get that done.  You’d likely have to make a few compromises, but if you’re wanting to get married sooner than 4 years, you’ll have to be creative.  If you’re set on having a wedding after everything is less crazy, then I would just wait longer to get engaged.

Post # 11
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

uncltredpearl:  Just to clarify – we didn’t do any kind of planning at all (except for deciding whose hometown to have it in) until a year before our wedding date. So the planning is on the same pace that it would have been. Basically we just enjoyed being engaged for the first year, and we absolutely could have stayed that way longer. We dated for 5 years before getting engaged, and I would have preferred to get engaged around year 3. 

Post # 12
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

While four years is a really long engagement, I’ve been enjoying ours. We were engaged last October, and due to health issues are planning for August 2015. I really enjoyed the first few months of being engaged and not actively planning. We did some things, but besides picking a venue, left it. It’s been nice to adjust to this new stage in our relationship. That being said we’re slow; it took us a year to decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend, and then another 5 years to get engaged. What ever works for you as a couple in my mind!

Post # 13
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

uncltredpearl:  I think you should wait. Me & my fiance will have been engaged for 5 years when we get married next year & it’s not really fun too wait that long. I recommend saving up for it though but I feel like we’ve been waiting forever for our wedding to get here & it’s always a little awkward when everyone know is getting engaged after you & married before you. People are excited at first & then it kind of fizzles out until closer to the wedding when people start getting excited again.

Post # 14
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We had a 19 month engagement and it was too long. We didn’t plan much until a few months before the wedding. We were both in college though and planning wasn’t hard at all. I don’t think getting married in college is anymore difficult than any other time. 

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