Post # 1
Hello, everyone! I am new to Wedding Bee, so I apologize if I’ve posted this in the wrong spot…
I want to vent a little bit about the reactions I’ve been getting from people regarding our long engagement. As you can see, we are getting married in March 2014, so as I’m writing this, we are a little under 19 months away from the big day. Immediately, people say, “Oh my GOSH, that is TWO YEARS AWAY! Why are you waiting so long?” To answer simply, FH is currently out-of-state working and won’t be back until sometime in November or December. I’d really like to wait until he is back before I go full-speed on the planning.
Besides, we have been together since high school (6 years now), and we are not really in a rush. FH is still in school and will finish in 2014, so that’s just how the cookie crumbles for us. Despite knowing our situation, people, mainly relatives, always give me a blank stare when I tell them the date of the wedding…
I guess maybe I’m just more sensitive than usual when it comes to the wedding, but I just find it irritating and hurtful when people criticize the date of the wedding. My fiance says that it’s just because everyone is so excited to be a part of the big day, and while I agree, it still bothers me more than it should. Can anyone relate?
Post # 3
I got engaged last August, and we are getting married in June of next year. I actually kind of prefer a longer engagement. It lets you take more time to plan and come up with ideas. Also, you can buy things when you see them on sale instead of trying to make a bunch of big purchases all at once. Actually, my fiance was the most upset about the long engagement.
I just used the excuse that the venue I wanted had a 2 year waiting list 🙂 It’s a military clubhouse right on the water. It’s cheaper than most places and NO TAX!! Neither of us is military, but I have a friend who was willing to sponsor us so we can have our reception there.
Honestly, I don’t think you will ever please anyone. Everyone has their own opinions on when or how the wedding should take place. Just remember it’s your wedding and you have to make yourself happy!
Post # 4
Embarrassingly I’ve been on the other side. Friends of mine will have been engaged 2 years by the time of their wedding. When they told us their date we assume this year not next! I understand their reasoning, but it’s not for us. Do what’s right for you guys! For some people a long engagement just makes sense 🙂
Post # 5
We are getting married June 2015 because FI is finishing his grad program then. Our family hasn’t made so many comments as friends have but a lot of ppl do say “wow three years for server!” I have even been told tht one of my moms friends Sked her if we would even still want to get married when the wedding day comes!!!
But I’m just ignoring because it is really the only time that works for us. Would I like to get married sooner? Of course. But it is just not finacially realistic until he finishes school. Plus it gives us more time to save up and decide what we want!
You can say exactly what you said here … Tht your FI is away for work and this is the only date tht makes sense for you twomat this point, both financially and emotionally.
Post # 6
Completely! We got engaged April 2011 and we were in no hurry to be married… we’re already living together and everything is perfect, I hate rushing and want to plan our wedding leisurely!
We’ve had lots of good respones and tonnes of bad ones… especially from my parents.. they don’t approve of them living together before marriage and would rather us get it over and done yet so it’s “legal in the eyes of God”. I also know that once we are married, our parents will hassle us to have grand kids and we’re SO not ready for that yet!!!!
But, I know my dad’s health isn’t at it’s best anymore… and FI’s dad is in hospital as we speak… so we decided 2 years would be fine.
Post # 7
I am not engaged yet, but 2 years to me is absolutely perfect. That is how we are going to plan it, and honestly, about 6 friends got married this summer, all of them had at LEAST 2 year engagements. So I actually thought it was the normal.
Besides, you have time now to slowly purchase items, or chose your perfect venue, etc. So much less stress. Don’t worry about what other people think, in the end, people will remember that you were married for 50 years, not engaged for 2.
Post # 8
@DanikaFedeli I can definitely relate to the whole “purchasing things on sale” statement. In fact, I just put my sister/MOH on a crazy mission to go to Joann’s every day for the next two weeks to purchase one vase each day using her 50% coupon. LOL! My fiance is upset about the long engagement too because we both want to be married sooner, but as mentioned, this is just how it works out. I’m glad there is somebody out there in a similar boat as me. It makes me feel better. Thanks for your input!
@ladyartichoke I’m sure people aren’t saying these things to make me feel bad…I know that some relatives are just opinionated and will give their opinion even when it’s not solicited. I guess I just gotta get tough skin for the next 19 months!
@eeosgood OMG How tacky of your mom’s friend to insinuate that you won’t be together long enough to see your wedding day. What is wrong with people these days? Did you say something to her?!
@lisa-apr2013 I’m so sorry to hear about your FFIL and dad. =( It’s nice to hear that you are still doing what is best for you despite some very loud opinions. I, too, live with my fiance, so I kinda understand where you’re coming from.
@Scorpio88 WHEW! That’s good to know that 2 years is the norm in some parts of the world. My brother was engaged for two years as well, so I didn’t think much of it at first…until I started getting the blank stares. =/ Thanks for your perspective…I really like the last sentence of your post. It is so true!
Post # 9
We are considering March 2014 as well. It will take us a few more months to save up enough $ for our dream venue/guest list, and we don’t want to get married in the winter, so March 2014 is looking like reality.
I have mixed emotions, we are older, and had hoped for a short engagement, so part of me is sad, but a longer engagement leaves us time to shop for deals, do more DIY, etc…
Post # 10
We got engaged this past June, and the wedding is set for March 2014. Most people say that that’s a long time to wait to get married. I think it’s perfect. To those who ask, I have decided to wait so I can do things the way I want to do them. I am not getting any support from my parents, so we’re doing things ourselves. I like that the wedding is set so far in advance because I can slowly plan.
I have to agree with others who have posted their reasons for wanting a long engagement. I’m older (even though it’s my first wedding), I can do things the way I want, less stress, etc. We didn’t want 2013, as it would be too soon. I didn’t want 2015, because I don’t want to wait that long to marry him. 2014 seemed perfect in my eyes!
Post # 11
Our engagement is 14 months long, and my family even reacted to THAT.
I wanted an October wedding.
It wasn’t going to be thrown together in 3 months.
Thus, 14 months…….and I’m so glad that I have had that long because it’s made planning things a lot easier.
Post # 12
I’m getting married in March 2015! People always have something to say about it, too!
Post # 13
@SoobySays: Mr. M teased that he would put the wedding to March 14, 2015 just so he could have a “real” Pi wedding… 3.1415 (get it…ha!) I told him absolutely not! That would be way too long for me!! LOL
Post # 14
I got engaged February 2012 and our date is set for March 2014. I like having heaps of time to plan. It also means we have a lot more time to save and can affoord the things we want! It also means you have a bigger choice of vendors
Post # 15
My FH & I will be engaged longer than we first dated! Met October 6 2011, engaged September 26 2012, married March 21 2014 😀 I must say the long engagement is kinda killing my “I want to make decisions NOW perfectionist side” but we chose the length based simply on when we wanted to get married: March (late summer here in Australia). We didn’t feel we could plan a wedding in a few short months so we had to push it out to 2014. Admittedly it also works well for giving our families slightly more time to adjust to the fact that yes we’re in a relationship, yes we’re engaged and yes we’re getting married! (they’re exceptionally supportive & lovely, it’s just that neither of us had been in a relationship before, EVER, so it’s kind of been sprung on everyone, including us! lol)