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So, I am in School, i graduate in December with my BFA, and the BF graduated this past summer (we are the same age though, I am just a little behind). We have talked about possibly getting engaged soon, while I am finishing up school, but maybe doing a long engagement, probably 2 years, while saving and trying to decide what to do wedding wise.
I have always been one of those people who didn't believe in engagments over a year, i thought it was dumb, but now that I am getting odler and realizing a lot, I think it would be ok to be engaged for 2 years, while working on stuff...
what are your opinions? specifically those who are college age, or have done the long engagments
My boyfriend and I are college aged and while were not engaged yet we would most likely have a longer engagement because it is a busy time in our lives so I totally see where you're coming from.
We are in our undergrad right now, and our engagement will be a little over two years. For us, it's because we set markers for ourselves before we get married, including financial independence and graduating from our undergrad. We have currently been together for 5 1/2 years, and will have been together for almost 8 by the time we get married.
I really want to plan ahead because a) we're on a budget, but I'm picky and b) we have little free time between school and work, so more time to plan is helpful.
It also just feels like a nice step forward. It's been a long time since we've hit a milestone, and wedding planning and being engaged feel indulgent... like we're allowed to celebrate our relationship again. :)
We're both college students, and we're having a 1.5 year engagement. We decided to wait until after I graduated, but he'll be finishing up grad school after we get married.
I am just about done with a 15 month engagement and I am going crazy. haha. If you want to take the 2 years, do it! = ) If you get everything you want done, then it's not like you can't change your minds. It's about doing what you two would fell comfortable with as a couple!
my FI is finishing his residency in the summer and we wanted to wait till he graduated and had a job before we got married. (i graduated from undergrad 5 years ago and have had a job this whole time).
Our engagement will be 2.5 years long.
I definitely don't think our decision was "dumb" but rather smart financially because we'll be able to pay half the wedding ourselves and logistically worked out better for us. (We moved to another state for his residency and the thought of having our wedding then moving right away just wouldn't happen) I've also liked having a long engagement actually, its nice to plan with no stress.
Do everything on your own time and what works best for you and your BF. :)
We're both college students (graduating this May), and though we are not yet engaged, we plan on having a long engagement. He wants to save up to buy my ring himself, and of course can't do that until we are out of school with a steady job. Pair with that our intentions to move cross country together to California this summer, my applying to grad schools, likely for a two year program, it just seems like a lot. Also, we want to pay for much of the wedding ourselves, so that's going to take a good amount of saving.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a long engagement.. I used to feel the same way you do, but now just knowing where we are in our lives, I don't mind. I think it's good to BE engaged, to have that period of time knowing that you're getting ready to "start" your lives together.. it's exciting!
@ lilyfaith, you sound like my twin. lol... we have been together for 5.5 years now, and we have markers set for ourselevs as well, and I feel like that is the next step, he is afraid that we aren't finacially ready, but getting engaged doesn't mean getting married tomorrow, it gives us time to talk with parents about finances, and what we want as a couple and time for us to save...
thanks girls, its nice to know i am not alone.
By the time FI and I are married in July, our engagement will have been slightly over 2 years. I think we waited an extra year because of the money thing- I was finishing up my degree when we got married, so to save money, I took a year off between my degrees (I'm planning on starting a grad program in the fall) to work and save money. I think a 2 year engagement is absolutely resonable. of course when you get engaged you want to marry ASAP, but sometimes it's just not logical or right for the couple. I'm especially gald I had so much time, because I scoured so many sites and wedding pictures that I really got a good idea of what I wanted for the wedding. In the past year, I have been working more and more towards the wedding. I think it's a good idea!
I think longer engagements are OK if it's a matter of logistics (i.e. wedding planning) or maybe if you are saving up for the wedding.
The annoy me when people get engaged because it's "the next step" and have no intention of actually getting married for several years...like engagement is just extra-serious dating instead of a promise to spend the rest of your lives together.
We dated since high school (over 6 years) so a long engagement was out of the question for us. We waited until we were both at least done with undergrad. He is now working and I am trying to pursue 2 more degrees before I'm done. We will only be engaged for a 1 and a week.
I don't see anything wrong with having a long engagement if it would be better for the both of you. Having a good job and being able to provide for yourselves is a plus.
ive been engaged for two years already and my wedding isnt till May 2011, we dont live together, i have two kids, i work and i go to school... its understandable and the only way it can work in a situation like this, i short engagement would just make things too stressful and probably end up in relationship problems, i say take it at a pace that you know is right for you and all will go as smoothly as wedding planning can... which trust me isnt perfectly smooth no matter how much time or money you have!
Well I'm not in college anymore, but I just graduated two years ago. My fiance and I were going to have the typical one-year engagement, but we've since decided it might be better to give it an additional 6 months. I was nervous about how this would look to others, but everyone has said "there's nothing wrong with having more time to plan the wedding!"
We're also going to be moving in with each other this year, which we figured would be a lot on top of a wedding. We've both said there's no point in rushing thigns, since this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I think if you're ready to be engaged, but not married, you should go for it! Lots of couples, like myself are opting for longer engagements that suit their lifestyles.
Good luck!
MissSophisticated: I graduated from undergrad in May. Fiance proposed last March. Total, our engagement will be 28 months by the time we are married. So yes, long engagement. I'm in grad school now and it is very important to me to finish that before we get married. But we've been together for 4 years and 8 months, so honestly, the 16ish months that are left until the wedding don't seem all that long to us at all!!!!
My husband and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married. We were engaged throughout the last 3 years of college because our parents wanted us to wait until after we graduated to get married. It's really a good idea if you are going to be paying for most of your wedding since it gives you more time to save up.
Just had to chime in and say that I'm glad for our reasons of having a long engagement but MAN is it going to be hard! As more and more falls into place, I'm wishing we could get married sooner. I think 2011 would have been perfect for us if not for the financial independence thing, which is more on R's side than mine - my parents do not pay for anything but some of my tuition, most of which is covered by financial aid and loans. *Sigh.*
We just decided today to move back our wedding date to June 2012. We will be more financially stable and we are ok with it. I'm just gonna try not to think about it being 2 years away and busy myself with looking through endless piles of wedding magazine, which I love doing anyways :)
@HoneyBear - hey, we can commiserate! I can't wait for the 2012 date twins board to be up. I wonder when they'll switch it over?
My FI and I are both in University. He is graduating this year, I will be next year. We have been engaged for two years already! I loved having a long engagement because it gave me time not to be stressed (school + wedding planning = a little stressful? )
Good luck!
We're the same age, but he didn't go to college. We've been engaged for just over a year already, and have about 6 months left. We would have gotten married last month if my parents were ok with us getting married while I am still in school. It is pretty stressful, but it would be nice to be done with both already! :)
@lily- I know I cant wait for them to put it up! I feel like we will be the only 2 on there right now lol...what can I say? I'm a planner!
@Honeybear - haha, yes, but we'll rock it! I'm an obsessive planner, too. :)
You're going to be together anyways right? Whether dating or married.... so if 2012 works best then who cares? Do whatever feels right.
So, for the first time I stared feeling anxious about how much time is left. I really want to start doing things for the wedding!!! What things can I start doing now 2 years from the date?????? DIY possibly?
I'm 21, a college freshmen- well will be come August (i took time off to help family) and I have been engaged 3yrs. I always thought that anything over 2yrs was completely ridiculous yet now that I've been engaged for 3yrs, well I have to tell you that it's the same. It IS insane. Anyway, I think 2yrs is great timing, though like you one year would have been preferred.
our engagement will have been for 2 years by the time we're married for exactly those reasons! we were both finishing up school and needed the time to save. i think longer engagements work well for those in college, because we need time to save! if i had a career and had the money i would have preferred a shorter engagement, but it actually has worked out really well for us. it gave me plenty of time to plan and do things in a more budget friendly way :)
@HoneyBear - there are plenty of things I've started on, I'm just preparing to be flexible as things may change. I think a lot of the aspects of DIY (invites, STDs, flowers, centerpieces) are things that you need to work at. If you get ahead of the game you an find out what works and what doesn't.
I have a feeling I'm going to end up with a very detail oriented wedding, because a lot of things that I expected to take forever are falling into place!
We got married in September (I graduated in May) when FI was a senior. When we get married it will be about 21months since we got engaged. We have 3months total to plan the wedding and if we had set the date earlier I would have had time to do all the DIY projects I want to do!
I am currently going on 2 years engaged and am really happy I did the long engagement thing! Lots of time to do the planning and more time to save up some money. Plus I have gotten to know my fiance better then I could have ever imagined. I am getting married in less then four months now and I am 110% sure that we are soul mates!
I honestly don't judge people either way. What works for you is what you should do.
But, having said that, I would advise against a long engagement just to keep your sanity!
We had a 14-month engagement, and by the 10th month, I was just ready to be freakin' married! Haha. I was so sick of people' opinions, DIY projects, having something to do all.the.time., constantly thinking about the wedding whether I wanted to or not, etc. I honestly think I could have planned the wedding in six months if needed. It would have been plenty of time. I think what killed us both is having all those extra months to think wayyyy too much about every detail and adding more projects, etc. We didn't need that time to think about everything.
I totally understand couples wanting to wait to save up the money, but yeah, just keep in mind, regardless of how organized and prepared you are, it will start to drive you nuts :) I'm SUPER organized and considered myself to be a pretty laid back bride, but by that 10th month stretch, I was ready to be done with it, but because it was such a big thing, I couldn't let go until it was done.
So that's my two cents :)
My FI and I frequetly discussed engagement and how long we would be comfortable with before he proposed. We always thought a year was a good length and that we wouldn't want to go much longer than that.
As things have come up in our lives, we realized that it really doesn't matter how long our engagement is. We have other things in our life that need to get done before we can get married. Most of these things are beyond our control because FI is in the military. We had to push our date back a year because of aviation training. Unfortunately our engagement is a lot longer than we would have liked (2+ years), but either way at the end we will be together as husband and wife and that is all that matters.
Our engagement will be 1 year and 7 months. We wanted to wait until after I graduated from grad school, but then we pushed it up a few weeks before finals! Everyone I've talked to think it makes sense, though they still think I'm crazy to get married before graduation. I needed a holiday weekend! There's only 2 guaranteed holiday weekend in a year and it was either get married before school ends or get married right after I start work!
Anyways, it gave me a lot of time to do DIY, but not going to lie, I didn't utilize the time very well. :) There's less than 90 days until my wedding and I have a TON of DIY stuff to tackle. It did give me great selection for vendors though!
wow.. 2 year engagements, or more even.. and I thought my 18 monther was going to be too long. were waiting to get financially stable before we seal an engagement, were like.. pre-engaged now. :)
We have been engaged for a year and are getting married in 6 months... and I fully recommend the long engagement!! The whole process of wedding planning has been so fun and for the most part, stress free. We have had our pick of vendors with plenty of available options. We have really just enjoyed being engaged and have not felt rushed with any of our plans. But on the flip-side, now that most of the plans are done, i am ready for the big day to get here! haha.
Our engagement will end up being about 16 months. We did it because we wanted to wait until one of us was out of school (I graduate in December, he'll still be finishing up his masters). I originally didn't want a long engagement either, but I'm finding there are a ton of perks - like having LOTS of time for DIY projects! :-)
I'm in month 15 of an 18 month engagement and it seems like it's gone by so quickly! I can't imagine doing it any quicker at this point. I've had plenty of time for wedding projects and planning, for my mom to make my dress, and to work on getting in shape and losing weight (a long overdue goal I wanted to accomplish before the wedding). I feel like it's given my FI and I good time to make the transition from BF/GF to making a lifelong commitment to each other. I have definitely enjoyed our long engagement.
Our engagement will be over 2 years by the time we are married. it gives us more time to save and get exactly what we want. I dont there is anything wrong with that
We will have close to a 2 year engagement. And I absolutely love all the time - all the time to save up money for our wedding, the time for us to pick vendors, and the time for us to plan down to the detail for our wedding to reflect us!
For us, there was no point in rushing into marriage since we have the remainder of our lives to be married, but only this blip in time to be engaged. So, we are enjoying it as much as we can. :)
At the end of the day, you need to do what is best and comfortable for you as a couple.
I know what youre going through! I got engaged right after I finished my undergraduate degree and decided to wait until I was done with my Masters to get married. A long 2 year engagement :) The only frustrating part is that I can only plan so much 2 years ahead of time, and I know I'll be super busy while I'm back at school again. And its a huge bonus to save in the mean time.
It will be 2.25 years of engagement on our wedding day. We were seniors in college when he proposed, and then we both went to graduate school. I cannot wait until July!
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