Long Post–My Apologies In Advance! (Family drama)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you just ride it out.  You’re almost married and done with the entire thing.  FWIW it sounds like you come by your… outspokeness, good/bad/ugly, honestly, you’re entire family feels free to not sensor what they say.  Like I said, just roll with it, tomorrow may go a little bumpy but tune them out, concentrate on the end goal.  Anything they have to say these last few weeks isn’t going to make a difference one way or the other, invites are out and the day is set up. Just sit back and maybe look at them from the outside, not from a place of anger but how it’s kind of funny to think what they say has an impact on your day. 

Post # 4
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Pulsepoint129:  well, my best advice, given all of your family drama, would have been to elope or at the very least not accept a penny from your family, so you wouldnt be beholden to them. But, with the wedding a month away, I suppose it’s too late for any of that. One thing that really bothered me about your post was that you said you refuse to take sides between your fiancé and your father. To me, this is completely wrong. Your father is disrespecting and behaving inappropriately towards your fiancé. You should stand up for and defend your fiancé. Based on your description of your father, I find it hard to believe he is acting like this out of genuine concern.  It sounds like he is just a difficult person. And, by the way, why are you accepting money for the wedding from your father, when it sounds like he is perpetually teetering on the brink of financial ruin?

Post # 5
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

As a PP mentioned, you say you’re outspoken – but so is the rest of your family. If it’s all right for you, why not for them? Just a thought; I’m not excusing their behavior. Just that you can hardly model one behavior and then get upset whe others do the same.

Best of luck with your wedding – I’m sure when you get to the day itself it’ll all be worth it. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Pulsepoint129:  perhaps they too were frustrated to that point. 

It’s hard to be objective when people act like this, but try to keep in mind that your family is made up of fallible people who make mistakes.

Post # 9
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d return everyone ‘s money, pay for my own wedding and tell them all to keep their opinions to themselves.

Post # 10
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The only advice I have, is that you need to stop placating your father.  Just because his retort was “I’m your dad and I want what’s best for you” doesn’t mean what he says is right, law, or even ok.  He’s putting down, humiliating and belitting the man you’re about to marry.  Not ok, not even a little bit, not in this situation, and not because he’s your dad.   

You need to put on your big girl panties, and side with your FI here.  It will not do anything but destroy your relationship if you continue to allow someone to treat your husband like a 2 year old just because they’re family.  Just ‘bringing it up’ and then letting him still make it seem like an ok thing to do is not actually siding with or helping your fiance at all.  It’s probably actually worse than not saying anything at all.

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