(Closed) Long post, need advice please :)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Take a deep breath. You are reading way too much into this. It’s a little overboard to expect him to mention everything he does while you’re not around. Plus you said you were totally okay with his friend coming over, so why would he hide it from you? Sounds like he just didn’t mention it because it didn’t seem important.

Post # 5
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It really might just be more of a last minute thing. My husband is a musician and will “jam” on aoccasion, but it usually takes a lot of texting and calls to get everything organized, so sometimes we don’t know until later. Other times, its just really casual and random.

Or perhaps he feel you are mad about it, so brings it up last minute?

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@pinkgreenandyellow:  This sometimes happens with my husband. Sometimes I tend to overreact Embarassed so he will delay telling me something he thinks will upset me. I think the best way to combat this is to show him that you’re not mad. Don’t overreact or get angry about things like this. Tell him you are totally cool with his friends coming over. When he can see that you really have changed and you’re not going to blow up at him, he will naturally be more open to sharing things like this.,

Post # 8
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Try to relax! Do you think if you make a big deal about it he is going to think you have a problem with it? He obviously wants to be with you so I would try not to read to much into the negative right now.

Post # 10
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@pinkgreenandyellow:  Oh. I just didn’t understand that you were upset about it because of the timing. Honestly it sounds like its not a big deal to either of you, so I don’t know why he would purposefully hide it from you. I wouldn’t worry about it. But maybe mention to him that it would be nice to hear what his plans are a little closer to when he makes them.

Post # 11
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Ugh. My husband used to do this. He would not tell me when he had made plans for to see his parents because they stressed me out so much and I don’t think he really wanted to start something a week or two ahead of time when if he waited I would have only a day or two when it was too late to do anything about it. Just tell him you want some advance notice.

Post # 12
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

@pinkgreenandyellow:  That’s the thing I’m concerned about, that he’s not telling me until the last minute because he thinks I will get upset.

 

you’re right. he’s not telling you until the last minute because you do get upset.  i’m going to be blunt, but who wants to deal with that?  it’s not like he’s inviting an ax murderer over. 

@pinkgreenandyellow: . But today as he’s leaving from bringing me dinner (which he does regularly)and that’s when he decides to tell me that he’s playing music with the guy again.

 

and he brings you dinner at work?  what an ass (KIDDING)

 

you really need to stop or you will run a perfectly good man off. 

 

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