Post # 1
we only ever wanted a small elopement, with 4 guests and few celebration drinks the weekend after, then a mini moon in cornwall. I had an idea and budget in my head which fi and I agreed was do-able. we started planning, a simple purple dress from the high street for me (which I love) which I planned to dress up with designer shoes ( my one expence) and a cute bouquet on fun flowers. You know how you get ideas in your head like it would be nice to have a photographer, a ring witha dimond (little but i dont have an engagment ring and have never had a dimond), maybe even run to a nice hotel rather then a b&b for wedding night.
But it was not to be we have had 17 months to save and we had but we got lumped with a tax bill, then my fi feel illand had to have 6 weeks on sick pay which ment kissing good buyto our savings. luckly I had my hight street dress but my designer shoes have turned into £30 sale (lovey but notdesinger shoes), the legal is paid so we cant change the date. The idea of a photographer hotel or any one doing my hair even a bouquet are now no longer affordable 🙁 my ring though my choice is simple and has a tiny dimond it was not the£400 one i keep thinking about but more the £40 that matched fi ring, he also is using hisengagement ringas we cant afford another ring.
Im sorry I know this all sound very me me me, im just feeling down about it. we didnt have big plans and we will still get drinks with friends the weekend after but that by request ofthe family has turned into a party, but we are asking guests to bring picnics and all the decoration are home grown flowers and jam jars cus there free. we are not party people and it just seem like the only people who are getting what they want from our wedding /elopement is our family. Though the party will cost very little I DIY every thing, Im doing it all with a heavy heart as it to celebrate only half the day we wanted. Im sorry this has been a total rant but its bugging me so much and I just needed a vent.
Post # 3
I’m sorry that you can’t have everything that you want. I hope that things are cleared up with your FI and he feels better. Maybe you could do a bigger celebration on your 1 year anniversary when you have a little money saved up?
Post # 4
This is going to sound kind of… cliche and weird I guess, but it sounds like you need to decide what is really more important, in the end: being married, or getting married.
If getting married is that important to you, with the wedding and the flowers and everything else, eat the cost of the legal and have the wedding when you can afford it. If being married is important, have your legal ceremony now, then do photos and a reception party down the road, when times are less tough and you can truly enjoy it.
It sounds like sadly at this point you’ll have to pick one or the other. I know that isn’t desirable, but I believe that’s probably your best option.
Post # 5
Save up and splurge for your one year anniversary!
Post # 6
@rainbowbee: Punkin, I’m so sorry to hear that fate dealt you a nasty hand just now…I totally understand how your mind and expectations can lead to disappointment and sorrow…it’s the little things that make a difference, and what’s neat is you still have your dress….I know money is tight, but that’s the best time to reach out to your friends….
Every girl has a friend with a shoe fetish..I know this, because I AM that friend, maybe you could borrow a pair of her favorite designer shoes and kill two birds with one stone – Awesome Shoes + Something Borrowed = HAPPY BRIDE!
Just because you can’t afford to pay someone, doesn’t mean you have to do it yourself, makeup, hair and photography are hobbies or talents that a lot of people have..once again, reach out, see who can do what…what’s the worst that can happen?? If all else fails, go to your local art schools and see what a student is willing to do for you, at a greatly reduced cost because they need the experience.
Rings are tricky, because gold is expensive….but you’d been surprised what some of your older relatives are hiding in a dusty jewelry box in the attic…now, you don’t call and solicit, but drop by for tea, start talking about the wedding and casually mention that your in the market for wedding bands…but don’t know where to start..who knows, that could be your something old right there…
I respect you wanting to do this on your own, but a little help never hurt anybody, and no one ever gets helped, if they don’t ask.
Best of luck!
Post # 7
I marriage has alway been number one. I just feel its less a case of not having every thing I /we want and more a question of having allmost nothing that we wanted other then each other, which I at end of the day is what counts I know.
Its just upset me, we are not one for celebrations/parties, hence the elopement wedding. The idea of an anniversary splurg ( but not a party please) sound great but its not same as having pictures of the really day or remebering how good it felt to had one day about fi and myself. Im sorry i was just a ran, things never go as planned I should be used to it. At the end of the day we are still getting married.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your support here last night, I just had to get it out thank you for taking the time to read my post and sorry my last reply was all messed up.
I was tring to say:
When I propossed to Fi 18months ago we sat down and wrote our top 6 things budget wise, we wanted for our day . The Legal, a nice hotel, photogapher,rings, a single bridal bouquet, designer shoes (i studied designer shoes for 2years but dont have any)
(a dress was not even top six ) top of that list was legal so atleast we will be mr&mrs but it just hard that the other 5 items have to be cut down or left out then at least we will still be married. It just makes me cry thinking about it at the minute I thought by dreams small we might stand a chance of getting there but I guess its not be.