(Closed) long ring vent, I appreciate all who read and comment

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I’m reading it right , you guys are on the same page, but you don’t want to be out of guilt? He wants you to have a solitaire, The big expensive one, which to me suggest flashy bling ( which you feel materialism guilt for but truly desire)  But now you want a yellow sapphire , that is less expensive and he feels your compromising?

Post # 4
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

You lost his “first” ring? I would be hurt… a lot.

Post # 5
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@happyface:  I’m sure she didn’t mean to !

Post # 7
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@happyface:  It sounds like it’s been a few years since the ring was misplaced.. and it’s not really the issue at hand presently.  I’m sure she wasn’t trying to lose it, but things happen.

OP, honestly, I don’t know what I’d do in this situation.  I definitely understand not wanting to spend so much on jewelry when you’re such a thrifty person… it doesn’t seem like your style.  Have you explained it that way to your DH?  That a 12k ring just doesn’t fit your personality.. and that you truly want the yellow sapphire.  I think the yellow sapphire with a diamond halo sounds beautiful.

Post # 9
46225 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

edited after I read your post again

Post # 12
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree, a yellow sapphire with a diamond halo sounds beautiful.  I am surprised that he doesn’t think this is a ‘real’ e-ring, it sounds like.  Is this ring much cheaper than the diamond solitaire he wants to choose?  You said you wanted a big beautiful ring so I’d assume that it doesn’t look cheap, whatever the relative costs!  I think you should talk to him about it.  If he truly has set his mind on just getting you a solitaire, he needs to tell you this!  That being said, I would still explain your love of this ring, especially if you could find a specific one to refer to.  Also – have you looked into yellow diamonds? I have no idea if they’re available at reasonable sizes/prices but that would seem like a compromise…?

Post # 13
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it’s selfish or in any way inapproriate for you to want the ring you want. And these words come from a woman who spent MANY years denying herself everything. Most importantly, I think your husband should beinterested in getting you what you want. Maybe you can show your husband the threads on here about non-traditional/colored stone engagement rings. He will see how many of us opted for other than a traditional solitaire. If the diamond is important to him, perhaps the halo part could be of yellow sapphires. I’m sure there’s a compromise in here somewhere. You may tell him that there are many colored stones (rubies, emeralds and some sapphires that cost far more than a diamond. If he really wants to spend $12,000, you should into padparadscha sapphires – my favorite! http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com/Sapphires/Padparadscha/#&&1ZiBrm4WXPbSoTULDgY1t6Rf03EQvv6Axd3F8BVVNUbGOaqLyczfR95Y/NeF9zhZScIL6hybE6i2avkspJFfLqtyvvyF+NY2rGgza/dagbUKekJB7VzXSQEvvf2CMFBK1lTor8NVoTsFo7Ti/sMGJBUAM2E=

Post # 14
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think a yellow sapphire is a great idea. It will be more budget friendly, and they are beautiful. I agree that you should spend more time trying to explain that this is what you WANT and not a consolation prize. Also, if he feels like yellow sapphire wouldn’t be a “real” e-ring, you could show him some pictures of all the people who choose them (or other alternatives) to show him it isn’t that unusual. 

Post # 15
56 posts
Worker bee

Why don’t you propose getting the ring with the yellow sapphire now, and then, if your husband still thinks that it’s not a “real” engagement ring, replace the stone with a yellow diamond later on down the line when it makes more sense financially? That way you can have your dream ring, and also won’t have to spend a small fortune on the ring until you are BOTH ready (if you ever even DO want to replace the stone). Seems like a good compromise to me!

Post # 16
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think your dream ring sounds gorgeous! I think a lot of guys have it drilled into their heads that a diamond is forever, especially a solitaire. I wonder if he’s worried people will think you have a sapphire because you can’t afford a diamond, which clearly isn’t the case at all. How do you feel about yellow diamonds?

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