- 4 years ago
As I am sure you can tell by the title I am one of the sad souls stuck waiting. I figured I should start with a little bit of background.
My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 14, the literal definition of high school sweethearts. We are still madly in love we know we are going to get engaged and married we know we are going to have kids and move out west once we both graduate college. I am currently a senior design student and he is a junior engineering student. I understand we are young but the wait is killing me and he knows it. After 6 and a half years together, and a year in a half of serious waiting I am slowly going insane !
The predicament we have fallen into over and over again is the fact that he has not luck, flat out no luck at all. As soon as something good happens something miserable quickly takes its place. He gets a good job the car breaks down and we are out 6 grand. I am making good progress in school he has fallen over a year and a half behind. I have tried to be patient and understanding but it just stinks; I feel like I spend my life waiting on him, I love him to the end of the world and back again; but with not real commitment its become a bit stressful. We have never been happier and where we are is great, but the idea of engagement has become something that we can’t even comfortably talk about anymore.
I always try to be supportive, helpful, loving and understanding, I get it things happen and not everything can always be great. It has turned from unfortunate events taking place, to ignorance. He like any man has his hobbies but they cost a lot, and that’s fine but he would rather spend 1,000 dollars on an RC car than even thinking about getting me something. I was raised that when you can, you give. To the ones you love, the ones who need, to anyone you can really. I love to get him small gifts things to make him feel good, to show him I love him. I don’t really expect a lot I know money is tight but he hasn’t even started to save after almost seven years he doesn’t really seem to care. He acts like at some point a right will magically fall into his hands.
Looking into the future I see our life getting challenging being so far behind me in schooling we have 3 choices. 1. I try to find a job nearby and possibly put a permanent hindrance on my career. 2. We have a long distance relationship for 2 maybe even 3 years. 3. He fallows me and picks up school wherever we land. No of these sound particularly great, but we are both ready to face the challenge. I really want that commitment before the challenges really set it we don’t plan on getting married until after we both graduated so that might be a while and I am fine with that I am not in a rush to the alter; I really just want that sense of security, the feeling that no matter what happens we will have each other. I feel like there is a lack of seriousness that comes with the title boyfriend and girlfriend. Just thinking about it frustrates me to no end.
His new thing to keep me off his back is talking about how expensive it is. He has been trying this new thing were he makes me feel guilty about the cost and that is not fair that my ring is so expensive but his is so cheap. I get it, it’s a lot of money but its really starting to hurt my feelings that I am the love of his life but his money is better spent on toys and hobbies.
I have no idea how to push the stress, anxiety and disappointment to the back of my mind, it is in my dreams and on mind all the time any advice, for someone who feels let down and hopeless.