Long vent–family drama :

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

“him, who abandoned us, or my mom and stepdad, who have been loving and taking care of me all my life” So did you say that to him? How did you respond to him saying, “Oh I see, I understand that I’m not a priority to you.” Don’t cower to his antics. Stand up to him. You are a woman about to marry. It might be good for him to hear your perspective!<br /><br />If he causes any drama, the second something mean or offputting is said, you tell him right then and there that he can choose to play nice for the duration of his stay, or leave. Have someone on point at your side to deal with him so you don’t have to, someone you can trust not to escalate the issue but deal with it properly, and be prepared to walk away from a situation so you can breathe and be a bride. Don’t let him, or anyone, squash your joy.

P.S. He’s lucky he’s acknowledged on that invitation at all.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 3
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow the nerve. Did he really expect “top” billing. You did the right thing. Sorry you are going thru this.

Post # 6
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

I can’t believe you added his name on the invite..why?? just because it’s the tradition? I wouldn’t have done that..

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would have – I get the whole tradition thing.  Even though doing the right thing isn’t always pleasant, sometimes you have to do it for the sake of the family.  You pick and choose your battles.  I wouldn’t start with him and just tolerate it as he is still your father at the end of the day.  It’s not worth getting upset on your wedding day (or around your wedding day) about him!

Post # 8
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am surprised that your mom even wants this guy at your wedding!  With that said, you are totally were sweet to honor your mom’s wishes.  I would just ignore the guy and, if he asks what’s wrong, tell him that he doesn’t get the top billing and attention because he was never there to support you throughout your life.  You don’t get top billing and attention by abandoning your kid (and her mother for that matter). 

 

Post # 9
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

Cornflakegirl:  Brilliantly put!! And fantastic advice!

GrassHouse:  Do not allow your biological father to expect to be treated like your father; he has lost that privilege when he decided to leave you and your mother. If he wishes to be a part of your life then he has to earn that. Good luck!

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