- Georgia Bee
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Some background–my fiance and I live in ATL but are getting married in CLE. His family lives about 4 hours away. His brother and family live in Seattle. FFIL and MIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner. My mother/stepfather are chipping in for about a third of the wedding costs, we are covering the rest. Originally I planned on a lunch reception. However, his family really wanted an evening reception so their guests could drive in the same day. This is costing about double what I wanted to spend. FI and I are fortunate to have good jobs but this is still a stretch for us. I also have a house in CLE that I have never been able to sell and it is a big financial burden, which is another long story.
Our wedding created a bit of a stir in his family. They had a cousin who got married in June in VA. The original plan was that Seattle family would come in for that and have an extended vacation in the Southeast. They had no problem affording that. They are coming to OH for the whole week and there was talk of trips to Niagara Falls, etc. although those may have been canceled.
So, a couple months ago, FI offered to give Seattle BIL $500 towards plane fare. I wish he would have waited until we were further along in planning, but oh, well. Since then, I have emailed FBIL several times with some really great fares. The replies back were, “I can’t get vacation approved this far in advance” and “we need to have a flight with a stop because the direct flight is too long for our youngest child”. The child does have some behavior problems, part is her age (almost 3) and part is lack of discipline. So one should pay an extra $100/person because we can’t control our children for 4 hours?
A couple weeks ago, FBIL had a fit about paying for his tuxedo. For some reason, he expected us to do that. I already paid for his daughters’ flower girl dresses and will be paying for their shoes. In fairness, I am also paying the same amount towards my ring bearers’ suits. This is adding up to several hundred $$$ even though I am being VERY budget conscious about their attire. The other day, he called FI and pretty much demanded the money. We found out yesterday that his parents just sent him some money, as they are having some troubles. She is a nurse and he doesn’t have the highest paying job in the world, but her mother lives with them and contributes.
FI is trying to figure out how else we can help them. I said it wasn’t fair to give them that much money and not help our other siblings equally. All of our siblings and their children are in the wedding. Two others have to travel. Just because the other ones can afford it, doesn’t make it OK. And WE can’t afford it!
Sorry for the super long rant, some of which is PMS induced. It makes me feel better just to put it on paper!