- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2018
I wasn’t sure if I should post this in Waiting or Emotional but I wanted to give a shoutout to all the other Waiting ladies. I don’t post much and I’ve been especially quiet this last week but I just had to speak up today. So you may not even really know who I am (never did the whole intro thing) but I love all the support here. I’m a fellow waiting girl and my BF and I are trying to keep things quiet until its official with a ring. I love to plan and I think I’d explode if I didn’t have this outlet. The waiting is for purely financial reasons, theres no pushiness for him to propose. In fact, I sorta enjoy this whole planning while waiting period because we get to share this little secret and not have to listen to what everyone else *thinks* we should do. We talk about planning together on a regular basis, he even teases me and asks me “well is that what David Tutera would do?” lol. The only thing I don’t like to do is vent to him about his family, hence where WB comes in today!
*before you read, please note when I say everyone I mean everyone but BF. He made his best attempts to stick up for me during this whole fiasco.
now on to my vent…
So we picked out the setting of the ring together. It will be a combination of platinum from my grandmother’s engagement ring and new platinum in a solitaire setting. The plan was to have my moms jeweler, who made her own wedding band and is someone shes gone to for years, create the setting for us and my BF would handle the diamond.
A couple of weeks ago he told his mom he was going to propose and our ring plans and she said she had a good friend who works in the diamond industry who could give him a good deal. He set up an appt with her and her boyfriend(also works in diamonds) last week to go look at diamonds. He asked me if I wanted to go with him and his mom to the appt and I said I’m fine either way but its his choice. He decided he’d like me to go. By this point there had already been several discussions about whether his moms friend should also do the setting, budget, etc. I said that because my grandmothers ring is involved and its a custom design I really prefer to use my moms jeweler. But his moms friend kept insisting that she could give us a better deal and that being quoted $1400 for a platinum band was ridiculous.
So we get to the appt and go up the elevator into this tiny little white room with a camera (felt like it was right out of a movie). We start looking at some 1ct diamonds. The very first ones they bring out were in our budget but at the very high end of it, and this is where the pushiness began. His moms friends BF immediately flat out says I’m getting ripped off by my jeweler and that the jeweler won’t care about using my grandmothers platinum or even if he does they’ll send it out to someone else who doesn’t and I won’t be getting the actual platinum from her ring. This immediately did not sit well with me especially after I said this is a family friend. I also pointed out how did I know he wouldn’t do the same and his claim was that he would personally oversee everything.
Then we get to the diamonds. They bring out one ok looking 1ct and then another 1ct thats completely colorless (D I think? Please excuse my serious lack of diamond knowledge) and practically flawless diamond. Personally I didn’t really care for the colorless one. This may sound really shallow but then I said I kinda wanted to see something a little bigger, nothing crazy, a 1.2 ct. First 1.2 they bring out has this tiny black mark which I didn’t even notice, I actually liked it better than the colorless one. I know I’m weird but I just hate white and the colorless one just looked kinda fake to me, nothing against anyone who has one but its just not my preference. I think his mom almost had a heart attack when I said I actually preferred a diamond that was a bit greyer and everyone just assumed I liked the bigger one better just because it was bigger. Immediately they all start saying what crap this diamond is, his mom flat out said “its crap” right after I said I liked it. Well ok now no matter how much I like it I definitely don’t want this one because all I’ll think about when I look at it is how crappy everyone else thinks it is. Then they bring out another one thats identical in all ways except no black mark, his mom admits its ok but they are all still pushing this damn colorless one on me. They were being so pushy that it got to the point where I felt like I was gonna cry. They made me feel so incredibly shallow for wanting to even see something bigger than 1ct. I also kept asking to see something that was lower in quality just so I could see to compare it to the others but they kept brushing me off. It finally got to the point where me and my BF walked out into the hall to talk. The 1.2 was out of our budget and I didn’t think it was worth it to spend so much on a colorless diamond just because everyone thought it was a great deal. I thought if we stick with 1ct then I’d rather save some money and get something a little lower in quality. I know I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference anyway. I told him I was done and I didn’t want to be pushed into anything I’d rather just wait and go home.
We eventually went back inside and then the jeweler got an empty setting and placed one of the diamonds in it. He goes, I’m not going to tell you how big it is before you tell me what you think. His mom chimes in wow it looks like its 2cts in that setting. I was so obviously being manipulated I was furious. I didn’t even have to look at it to know that it was the 1ct in the setting, I wasn’t born yesterday. I said it was ok but I’d rather wait and they kept pushing well these particular diamonds might not be here when you come back. Um hello, fine by me. This is also after slipping the fact earlier that the colorless one had been there for the last 6 months.
I think his mom finally realized I was upset and came up with the idea to look at different cuts. Up until that point we had only looked at princess cuts. So they bring out a cushion cut and an emerald cut. In the end I really liked them both despite thinking I only wanted a princess cut. I couldn’t choose so I told my BF the final decision was his and I walked out. Both were gorgeous although technically the cushion cut was the “lower quality” and cheaper diamond. This sounds bad, but I almost hope he chose the “lower quality” diamond just to spite everyone, lol.I know in the end I’ll be thrilled with what he chose but it just was to the point if I heard “well i know its your decision, but…” one more time someone would not have made it out of there alive. Thats like saying “no offense but…” and then its always followed by an offensive statement. I just hate feeling pushed into something and I hate when sales people need to resort to badmouthing others. If you’re really as good as you say then your work should speak for itself without having to put down others.
Oh, and the very last straw for me was on the way out when his moms friend says to me “you know I’m invited to the wedding right”