Post # 1
I came across a friends posting on facebook today asking whether it was bad that she was more excited for couples only engaged a year to be married than those that had been together longer…. Now, my man & I will have been together for 8 years when we get married last year. We were in the grey engagement area for the last 4 years (since we moved across country)- he gave me a promise ring before we moved & we decided we both wanted to get married, but were both also very practical rational people so our solution was to put it on our 5-year plan. So not *really* engaged, but not *un-engaged* either…. en*grey*gement I suppose….
How do you feel about this subject- are you more excited for new couples (1-3yrs) to be engaged & then promptly married than you wold be for say a 4+ year couple to be engaged & eventually married?
I’m beginning to feel like most people feel more excited by the first than the later. I guess everyone in our families knew it was coming but nobody’s been calling or congratulating or even saying they are happy for us or anything aside from my parents…. I know nobody is going to be as excited as we are, but damn a congratulations or “were so happy for you” would be nice….
Post # 3
I would say older relatinships (but I’m in one so I could be just slightly biased haha) but I do think its really nice to see a couple thats been together for a long time finally tie the knot. Thats not to say that new relationship engagements don’t excite me but its a different feeling.
Post # 5
I’m definitely more excited by “older” couples getting engaged and married. Although I will technically fall into the “newer” category. Our wedding day will be about 3 months after our 3 year anniversary.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
What affects me is not how long the couple has been together but how long they’ve been engaged. In my ideal world, a couple has been together for a while, but once they get engaged they actually start planning a wedding for a relatively soon date (maybe within 18 months).
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
In my experience, most people are different from your facebook friend. I and a lot of people my age (late 20s to early 30s) are wary when they hear of people tying the knot right away – we’ve seen a lot of divorces. Whereas, my guy and I had been together for ages – like a decade – before we got engaged, and our friends and family are all literally esctatic about it. It’s pretty cool
Post # 8
I guess short engagements/relationships really feel romantic to me. I always poke DH and sigh because I’m jealous of them and how fast the man knew they should get married, and that she was the one etc. Ideally I would love to have some big romantic story about how we met and just knew we were perfect for each other and we ran off an eloped. (But I’m very scared for these people that they aren’t thinking this through enough).
But in my normal life, I am equally excited for everyone!! Planning on spending your life together is a very special thing.
Post # 9
I suppose in general I’d be less excited about couples who’ve been together a long time, like… 6-10 years and beyond.
I think there’s an assumption (mostly mistaken I’m sure) that a proposal after that long is kind of a “well we might as well just get married” or “settling for each other” or “she finally nagged him into it” scenario.
However… the MOST excited I’ve ever been for someone getting engaged was a friend and co-worker of mine who got engaged after 12 years. They are simply the most amazing couple I’ve ever met, and they only waited so long for legal reasons. The whole office was shouting for joy the day she came in with her engagement ring on. There were many, many tears shed at that wedding.
Post # 10
I love all engagements! I am in the long term category (5 years before engagement) and have had friends get engaged in anywhere from 6 months to 1 year. A number of my friends are quite religious and their church values and traditions are what prompts the shorter relationships.
Either way, I am a sucker for love and ecstatic to hear about any of my friends finding it in their lives!
Post # 11
@mrsSonthebeach: this. I get excited when a couple who has been together at least 2-3 years gets engaged and then gets married in a year or so. It’s hard to stay super excited about a long engagement. It’s even harder to get excited for a couple who get engaged after dating a short time when they are statistically more likely to divorce.
Post # 12
Technically, I was in the new relationship category when I got married. Got engaged after 9 months of dating and we were married around 1 year and a half of being together. I get excited for all couples who are getting married regardless of how long they have been together. Marriage seems to have more of a bad rep these days with the Divorce rate being so high so it’s nice when people don’t let those statistics bother them and they stick with marriage. Everytime I hear of someone who is Engaged, I smile and think “The Idea of Marriage is definitely not dead”. Every couple has very different times in their relationship where they are ready to get married and there is nothing wrong with that.
Post # 13
I am excited for anyone getting engaged!
Though if it is under a year of dating I ususally question it a bit more than if two people have been dating a while. If I found out a couple who has been dating a long time get engaged (i.e. like me and FI who were at 4.5 years before we got engaged) I do say “FINALLY”- at least to myself.
Post # 14
@mrsSonthebeach: Agreed. I don’t feel like an engagement is “real” in my mind until there’s a date and a location locked in. 3+ year engagements confuse me.
Post # 15
To be honest, I roll my eyes at anyone getting married after dating less than a year, even if they have a longer engagement. I also agree with PP that it isn’t a true engagement until a date is set and a venue is put on hold. If you’re actively not trying to get married, then what is the point?
And seriously, that’s not a pot shot at anyone’s relationship here. Just my opinion.
Post # 16
I get excited for couples that are clearly over the moon for each other and meant to be. They have that glow! I also think it’s nice to hear about couples tying the knot who have been together for a long time. I guess I think it’s nice when anyone decides to get married, provided the couple seems happy!